RichKindGentle Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I am a middle-aged male. I was divorced about 1 1/2 years ago. My Ex was the first and only person I had ever been intimate with. I eventually decided to leave her because she became so greedy and selfish that I could no longer accept it. Now I find myself with virtually no experience with meeting other people looking for someone compatible with me. This is an anonymous post, and I know it would perhaps sound like I am bragging, but this is who I am. I have two doctorate degrees, I own my own business, I earn approximately 500K per year, I own my own beautiful home, I exercise regularly and maintain my weight exactly where it should be. I am extrememly mild-mannered, courteous, always a gentlemen, never use profanity, never have thought about being violent against a woman, do not drink, smoke, use drugs or participate in any activities that would endanger myself or those close to me. I bathe daily, and care for myself to maintain my appearance, but am certainly not vain. I have an excellent sense of humor. I am very very private, and by my own choice and preference, socialize very little. I am ambitious, hard-working, and have devoted my life toward being the best father I can be to my young son, and secondly to expanding my business further with the primary goal of giving virtually all the money that I make to charities in the community. At this point in my life, I have come come to the realization that material things will bring no happiness in life, and I have begun to donate significant chunks of my income to charities in my community. How can I find someone who shares a similar generousity for others, is educated, attractive, and has a career of her own. I believe that many woman could not tolerate someone who would rather donate money to charities than spend it on them. At the same time, I know how to treat a woman.
Sealy Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I believe that many woman could not tolerate someone who would rather donate money to charities than spend it on them. and a whole lot would find it awsome unfortunatly being a private person really doesnt get you very far.. a fact im well aware off... but you certainly sound like you've got your life in order and an answer to your question isnt going to be as easy as "shower for a change, you stink!" hehe have you tried getting involved in the charaties your contributing too? i know some charaties actually organise balls and dinner parties for major contributors. it would definatly be the place to meet like minded people.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Well, you could try a reality check. All I hear is how wonderful you are and what a lowlife your ex was. It's possible that you were a saint and she was a terrible sinner... but it's far more likely that you're in denial about some of the dark points in your character. If you really want to get together with someone, here's my advice: 1. Think again of what your ex has said about you and your character. It may have been said in anger, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. Chat it over with trusted friends and family, with a view to working on your character. Your self-description already to me conjures up various points which could potentially be making you undateable. 2. Get out there and make friends. Guys as well as girls. New friends will open new doors for you to meet women. It's a simple numbers game: more women met = more chances of finding the one.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I would advise perhaps getting involved in church or a book club or something like that. You could post a profile on the internet but if I were you, I'd start really slowly and build a friendship with someone first before I dove into a relationship. You sound like a great guy. Lots of women would find your being dedicated to charitable things appealing. Hope you find her.
RichKindGentle Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Well, you could try a reality check. All I hear is how wonderful you are and what a lowlife your ex was. It's possible that you were a saint and she was a terrible sinner... but it's far more likely that you're in denial about some of the dark points in your character. If you really want to get together with someone, here's my advice: 1. Think again of what your ex has said about you and your character. It may have been said in anger, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. Chat it over with trusted friends and family, with a view to working on your character. Your self-description already to me conjures up various points which could potentially be making you undateable. 2. Get out there and make friends. Guys as well as girls. New friends will open new doors for you to meet women. It's a simple numbers game: more women met = more chances of finding the one. I would never dream of saying things that I have stated here personally. As a anonymous posting, I felt I could get the best advice as being open about my income, and lifestyle as possible. As far as my Ex, believe it or not I cannot remember any negative points she stated about my character. I left her for the reasons I stated, and she wanted to reconcile. She was angry and bitter that I had chosen to leave her, and the majority of negative things she said revolved around this and the effect on my son. The only other negative things she said related to her accusations that I left her for another woman which were 100% not true. I was faithful throughout my marriage. I was and always will be a single-woman man. My negatives mainly revolve around my tendency to be too quiet, and uncomfortable around new people. Lastly when I get upset or angry, I do not scream or yell, but clam up, and not talk.
Outcast Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 You could try getting involved with volunteer organizations. I think it would be a safe assumption to think that any women you meet who are deeply involved in volunteering may share your ideals.
JS17 Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 A few things jumped out at me when I read your post. I'm surprised to see that you think that it's your charitable donations that hold women back. One thing that I'm unsure of because there just isn't enough information is whether you've filled your life up so much that you've made no time for a woman. Women like men who are ambitious but not a man they never see because they are chained to their office. Can't really tell if that's the case from your post. What really struck me was that you've chosen not to socialize. There has to be some socialization there or a woman will feel that you will become to emotionally dependent on them prematurely in the relationship if you're her only contact on a daily basis. You're also not going to meet anyone sitting in your house unless you're interested in dating a Jehovahs Witness or a Girl Scout, neither of which I would recommend. I agree with Outcast in that you should become more involved in the things you're passionate about like Volunteering. I volunteer a bunch with animal organizations and, I'll let the secret out, they are just swarming with compassionate women of all ages.
mytakeontheworld Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I'm with reluctant on this... I'm not saying you are not a wonderful guy but if all were well, women should be beating a path to your door; straight available, professional men ready to commit are few and far between so either you're in your house/office every night (bad idea unless you figure your Ms right might be a night burgerler) or there's something else that might need fixin'. This is not to be overly harsh (believe me I know about wailing 'I want lurve' while all the time closing myself off to the experience. A few questions for reflextion are you ready to commit? are you open for this wonderful, accomplished beautiful creature or will she pick up 'hmm let's see if she's a blood sucking me-first addict like my ex? You know, middle aged career women who may or may not have been through an equally painful divorce/break up can pick up cynical and removed at 500 yards in half light. They may or may not have been with men married to their business but few find this attractive. It's much like men going for twenty somethings second time around, the girls have a freshness an openness that makes older men feel appreciated and ready to look at things in a new way. Why should 'this woman' settle for less than that? Are you up for the job? Sounds to me you're pretty self sufficient and this insulation may just be sending 'keep out' vibes. Or you may give off as being inflexible - "this is my life, fit in or leave!" Women second time round have an abundance of fat (I know you're not but bear with me) middle aged, inflexible, "are-you-impressed-I-can-order-the-right-wine at-dinner?", career men. They're not. Believe me, it will impress the little barefoot yokle just off of the trailer but if you want what you say you want, you gotta open up, move around, think of life in a new way, be willing to put her before your career and accomplishments. Oh and give to charity damit!!
mixwell Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 There is one simple solution to your question.. Go out more and let people see you.. Go somewhere you enjoy going and maybe get out and go to social events where there are a lot of people.. You can't sell yourself if you don't advertise right ? Good luck on your quest for a woman.. I know it can be hard personally !! haha.. Peace
JS17 Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 There is one simple solution to your question.. Go out more and let people see you.. Go somewhere you enjoy going and maybe get out and go to social events where there are a lot of people.. You can't sell yourself if you don't advertise right ? Good luck on your quest for a woman.. I know it can be hard personally !! haha.. Peace Is that from your favorite books? You should tell Rich about how to get laid with the system.
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