mick77buck Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 Past couple of months, I have been dating this girl. Not exclusive, hence the topic question. Things ARE going well and things seem to be progressing. We have kissed at the end of the night multiple times (No other physical contact), we have gone on dates, I have met her daughter, we have talked about ourselves and had really good deep conversations. I have sent her flowers, which was well received and i have been mention by name to her co workers. She has done little hints to show she has been flirting (I was going to her house, she said she was excited and I said "Oh to see me?" and she said "You'll just have to find out) (First time we kissed I had to wait a bit before finally doing it, she asked if it was worth the wait and I said "You'll find out next time) Her birthday is November 7th and I am taking her out for it, so I thought about maybe waiting till then, but i am afraid that would be to long, because anything could happen I am ready to approach her now about it, but am very nervous. I think I have basically done everything i could to show her that it could work. Her daughter does like me and I feel like I would and could step up if needed Does anyone think i should wait/? Or just go for it?
Happy Lemming Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 So you've been dating this adult woman for the past couple of months (I'm going to assume she is a woman and not a girl, since she has a daughter) and you haven't had sex. Why?? In my opinion, you've been friend zoned!! To answer your question, you don't go exclusive until after you've had sex with a person. If I can ask a question... Do you have any children?? If not, why are you dating a single mother?? Why do you want to "step up" and take care of a child that is not yours?? Let Bio-Dad step up and pay child support, its HIS responsibility, not yours. Why would you want to tie yourself down with all that burden?? How old are you?? In my opinion, single mothers should date single fathers.
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 If you are ready to be exclusive, of course you should talk about it. Waiting will only increase your nerves. I wouldn't ask her to be exclusive in those words. I would tell her that you haven't been seeing anybody else & you would like to be exclusive. Then ask what she wants after you told her how you have been behaving & what your expectations are.
Author mick77buck Posted October 5, 2018 Author Posted October 5, 2018 So you've been dating this adult woman for the past couple of months (I'm going to assume she is a woman and not a girl, since she has a daughter) and you haven't had sex. Why?? In my opinion, you've been friend zoned!! To answer your question, you don't go exclusive until after you've had sex with a person. If I can ask a question... Do you have any children?? If not, why are you dating a single mother?? Why do you want to "step up" and take care of a child that is not yours?? Let Bio-Dad step up and pay child support, its HIS responsibility, not yours. Why would you want to tie yourself down with all that burden?? How old are you?? In my opinion, single mothers should date single fathers. Your right. I have been friend zoned which is why we kiss each other good night on the lips
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 Your right. I have been friend zoned which is why we kiss each other good night on the lips Honey, the issue isn't the kisses it's the lack of sex. To some people dating for months with no sex is a deal breaker. You clearly have a different view on the subject. The caution is if you don't express an interest in consummating the relationship soon, then the lady may get bored & walk away. 1
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 Honey, the issue isn't the kisses it's the lack of sex. To some people dating for months with no sex is a deal breaker. You clearly have a different view on the subject. The caution is if you don't express an interest in consummating the relationship soon, then the lady may get bored & walk away. This 100%^^^^ Women need to feel desired sexually or they are going to think there is something wrong with them and with you. Turn it up a notch, start having heavy make out seshes. Ask for exclusivity like now, don't do special things like that on celebrations ie: birthdays, valentines day, Christmas etc...better to keep those things separate. 1
alphamale Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 Assuming you haven't had sex yet I would wait for the exclusivity talk...
Mardelis Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 Op you're way insecure and too passive. It's not attractive. 1
Happy Lemming Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 (edited) Your right. I have been friend zoned which is why we kiss each other good night on the lips I've been dating (constantly) since 1981, if the woman you are dating refuses to have sex with you after a month, either she doesn't find you desirable or she is having sex with someone else. I usually have sex with a woman by the third date, if not sooner. My rule is one month, if I haven't slept with her in a month; I'm dumping her and I'm telling her why I am dumping her. I've only had to invoke my one month rule once in my life. You've been dating for months and you haven't made it to first base?? Believe what you want... You've been friend zoned. Just my two cents... Edited October 5, 2018 by Happy Lemming spacing 1
Author mick77buck Posted October 5, 2018 Author Posted October 5, 2018 She hasn't refused to have sex. I haven't tried. We both made it clear we are looking for relationships, and we wanna get to know one another. Yes its been a few months of dating but its not like it's a every week thing. It has been spread out due to schedule sbut we have been getting along very well, and I feel things are going very good
Ruby Slippers Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 You bring to mind a man I'm dating. He's taken me on two fantastic dates but hasn't even held my hand yet. If he'd even kissed me so far, I likely would have stopped dating others. Since he hasn't, I'm still on the market. It will be sad if this goes on for weeks, he invests all this time and energy, but someone else locks me down with a more physical approach. But it could well happen if he doesn't start making some moves soon.
Hopeful30 Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I don't think it's a good idea to bring it up on her birthday. Her birthday is about her, celebrating her life. Bringing it up during her birthday might put a damper on things if she's not ready. I say bring it up next time you guys are hanging out. But don't put her on the spot. Instead of asking "where are we?" (I hate this question) you can instead say, "I've been thinking about us a lot, and I am ready to be exclusive just with you. How do you feel about that?" Let the conversation flow from there.
nospam99 Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 You bring to mind a man I'm dating. He's taken me on two fantastic dates but hasn't even held my hand yet. If he'd even kissed me so far, I likely would have stopped dating others. Since he hasn't, I'm still on the market. It will be sad if this goes on for weeks, he invests all this time and energy, but someone else locks me down with a more physical approach. But it could well happen if he doesn't start making some moves soon. Hey Ruby, your guy sounds a bit like me (only a bit, I'd have tried for a hug and a closed-mouth 'goodnight' kiss on the first date and held your hand a lot). I look for behavior cues from my date that she's 'okay' with physical contact. Have you been giving this guy cues? Light touches on shoulder, arm, or hand (or, when sitting, leg) are not 'over the top' and pretty easy for even the most 'respectful' guy to interpret.
Happy Lemming Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 She hasn't refused to have sex. I haven't tried. We both made it clear we are looking for relationships, and we wanna get to know one another. Yes its been a few months of dating but its not like it's a every week thing. It has been spread out due to schedule sbut we have been getting along very well, and I feel things are going very good If you have been on 3 dates or more, you should have at least tried for sex... How much more do you need to know about her?? You've been dating a few months, even if its spread out a bit, you've been communicating with this woman. Being intimate solidifies the relationship, but you haven't even tried?? Unless there is a medical problem, I can't understand why you haven't made your move. Re-read "Ruby Slippers" post, she met a nice guy but he is slipping into the friend zone because he won't make a move. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 Have you been giving this guy cues? Light touches on shoulder, arm, or hand (or, when sitting, leg) are not 'over the top' and pretty easy for even the most 'respectful' guy to interpret. I don't want to write too much in somebody else's topic, but yes, I did all that and he didn't pick up on any of it. It's kind of a bummer because other than this, he's hit it out of the park on the dates. I have another thread I started about it if you're curious. I just feel like I sense a similar vibe. Two months have gone by with nothing more than kissing? Different strokes for different folks, I guess, but if she's dating others, they've probably gotten more physical with her and stirred up more emotions and attachment. I feel like the OP is in serious danger of snoozing and losing. Better step up your game, dude. There's nothing to be nervous about. She wouldn't be going on dates with you if she wasn't interested. She's probably like me, wondering when in the world you've ever going to make a real move. 1
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