cwashi04 Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 (edited) My husband is non confrontational and I am too for the most part. If I react to something, it is usually not in the most diplomatic way. Ive had problems with my husband's sis in law tor abt 5 years. My husband never defended me, even when he agreed that her behavior was crazy. He also has a friend who can sometimes say things to me in a disrespectful manner. The thing is, he get upset with me for responding. We are all in a better place but after all of this happened, I dont want to be in intimate settings with his family and friends, together, anymore. I am coming around but its been a very slow process for me because most of this was happening during the hardest time of my life. I feel like we are happier when I just keep my distance. I come around for family events that involve the kids but that's really all that I feel comfortable doing. Im pretty messed up behind all of that. Am I wrong for not wanting to attend his brother's bday dinner with friends and family without being able to bring someone that I can feel comfortable with?? Im pretty stressed and my energy is not 100%. I dont want to come off like Im still mad at my SIL, I dont want to snap on his friend and I dont feel like being uncomfortable. Edited October 4, 2018 by cwashi04
Mr. Lucky Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 Am I wrong for not wanting to attend his brother's bday dinner with friends and family without being able to bring someone that I can feel comfortable with?? Like a bodyguard? Or mediator? I'd assume, under normal circumstances, that comforting person would be your husband. If it's not a setting you enjoy, or feel respected at, doesn't seem like any reason to further subject yourself to the drama involved. Let your husband go by himself... Mr. Lucky 1
d0nnivain Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 You say you are non confrontational but you admit that you snap & don't respond diplomatically. You need to work on that. There are ways to address problems. You need to master those skills. Having boundaries & enforcing them is good but you have to address problems when they arise, not let them fester. If you don't want to go to the birthday party, don't go. Do offer to be your husband's sober ride home. If your husband gets upset that you don't want to go, calmly rehash all the past problems & get him to commit to defending you if things go sideways this time. Do some role play before the party. If he won't do that, then you might need MC. 1
Recommended Posts