mortensorchid Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 He was an IT guy, divorced, age 47 with one daughter who is 15. He was ... Dull and not interested in me. He was courteous enough towards me, which was good on his part. But he and I were not right for each other, and we knew this by the end of the encounter. He was antsy and figity that he wanted to get moving, and I said I did as well so we could end things. He said he wanted to go ride his bike, I said I wanted to go run a few miles while the weather is still nice. We ended things nicely, but I will never hear a word from him again. Just another thing to report. I went on the run and I think his name was John or something, I don't remember.
Dis Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 Time for some SSRIs. Not even kidding. Are you depressed, OP? Maybe book an appointment with a psych MD or APRN. No way would your outlook on life be this bleak if there wasn't some type of chemical imbalance going on. I'm not judging at all. I've been there. Really consider getting some help. As for your date, oh well. Most first dates go nowhere. It's to be expected. Have you given any thought to taking a break from dating until you can break free from all these negative thoughts? 2
Rocker71 Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 He was an IT guy, divorced, age 47 with one daughter who is 15. He was ... Dull and not interested in me. He was courteous enough towards me, which was good on his part. But he and I were not right for each other, and we knew this by the end of the encounter. He was antsy and figity that he wanted to get moving, and I said I did as well so we could end things. He said he wanted to go ride his bike, I said I wanted to go run a few miles while the weather is still nice. We ended things nicely, but I will never hear a word from him again. Just another thing to report. I went on the run and I think his name was John or something, I don't remember. Go look in your contacts for any 'nice guy' you may have ghosted for being boring. Give him another chance to see if he grew any bulls since the last time you seen him. 2
Chilli Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 Think ya gotta take a break from this crap and just live you for awhile mc. 1
Zippy2000 Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 Reminds me of a date I had a few years ago. Her profile mentioned she was fun, talkative and mad. When I met her she was quiet and withdrawn. I don't have any expectations now. I just go with the flow. I'm less excited for dates these day. Its a sad fact but I'm now de-sensitised to dating now. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 I started dating again about a month ago after a long break. I've had 4 first dates, and each one has been noticeably better than the last. Tonight is my first second date of the bunch and I'm excited! The real source of the improvement is myself. As I've cleaned up my thinking, I've begun attracting better matches in every aspect of my life - better moments, experiences, days, assignments at work, physical well-being, and dates. Everything begins in the mind. Focus exclusively and obsessively on what you want, not for a moment letting doubt take over - and you will get it. 1
guest569 Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 He was ... Dull and not interested in me. He was courteous enough towards me, which was good on his part. Omg,i hear ya sister! Minus the courteous part hahaha! Aww man.. Sorry another disappointment. Did you at least enjoy the run? Wait is John the date or someone you met while on the run?
NuevoYorko Posted October 4, 2018 Posted October 4, 2018 Everything begins in the mind. Focus exclusively and obsessively on what you want, not for a moment letting doubt take over - and you will get it. I can't really imagine a person who focusses exclusively and obsessively on what they wants as being tolerable for a 10 minute coffee date, much less anything more involved. I find people with interests and curiosity beyond themselves to be compelling. If I'm being honest, I enjoy it when a person I am interested in dating shows a sincere interest in me. 2
Author mortensorchid Posted October 5, 2018 Author Posted October 5, 2018 Time for some SSRIs. Not even kidding. Are you depressed, OP? Maybe book an appointment with a psych MD or APRN. No way would your outlook on life be this bleak if there wasn't some type of chemical imbalance going on. I'm not judging at all. I've been there. Really consider getting some help. As for your date, oh well. Most first dates go nowhere. It's to be expected. Have you given any thought to taking a break from dating until you can break free from all these negative thoughts? I am on SSIRS. And I feel better, thank you. I went back to my shrink without health insurance and said I am broken in a million little pieces and put back together. I am getting back to where I should be which is happy. Because I should be. I am still here. Still alive. 3
FMW Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I'm glad you took action on getting help and are feeling better. I enjoy your dating updates, but if the dull and disappointing dates are bringing you down, maybe you should consider taking a little break just to focus on doing fun things without worrying about a date. But if you feel up to forging ahead with dating, then maybe just look at each date as a learning experience that gets you one step closer to the right guy. As long as it's not bringing you down I think it's great that you keep putting yourself out there!
hippychick3 Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I started dating again about a month ago after a long break. I've had 4 first dates, and each one has been noticeably better than the last. Tonight is my first second date of the bunch and I'm excited! The real source of the improvement is myself. As I've cleaned up my thinking, I've begun attracting better matches in every aspect of my life - better moments, experiences, days, assignments at work, physical well-being, and dates. Everything begins in the mind. Focus exclusively and obsessively on what you want, not for a moment letting doubt take over - and you will get it. This was exactly why I met so many good men when I was dating, including current bf. I had an overall positive and optimistic outlook on life. I was happy with where I was and happy with myself and it radiated from my pores. I was told by many men that I was "different" and not the typical bitter divorcee they normally met. Being positive and happy/confident with yourself will attract much better men. This is not to say I never had a date with a boring, unlikeable man...but, they were far and few between. You need to work on yourself more, OP. Good for you for making steps in the right direction. It sounds like you're on the right path. You just need to take more time to be in the right place to date and attract the right person. 2
PRW Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I'm only on Ibuprofen and Pepsi right now. Keep in mind the pond you are fishing in. OLD is chocked full of people who can't get a date any other way. Many (most?) have very little social skills, let alone dating skills which are a big step above that. Other then a rare swipe on Tinder for entertainment value I don't get involved with OLD in any form. I meet everyone I meet face to face at various social group events, such as things you might find on Meetup.com. But beware that even there, groups with "Singles" in their name attract some of the same crowd that you get with OLD. But at least you get to see what they are like in person and how they interact in the group before you approach or get approached by them.
Dis Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I am on SSIRS. And I feel better, thank you. I went back to my shrink without health insurance and said I am broken in a million little pieces and put back together. I am getting back to where I should be which is happy. Because I should be. I am still here. Still alive. This is great to hear, M It WILL get better now that you're undergoing treatment I know what crippling depression feels like and I'm so sorry you're going through it. I also know that when the clouds are hanging over you, it really feels like you'll never see the sun again but you will if you stick with your meds. Keep us posted. I wish you the very, very best
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