nxd2173 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 (edited) I’ve been talking to this guy I met on tinder for 5 months and things were going great until recently.We’ve been on a few dates, he’s made future plans with me,he got me a present for my birthday,he used to send kiss emojis and he even gave me a nickname!However, a few weeks ago, he became distant, and seemed completely uninterested.He barely talked to me and when I askd him if he wanted to hang out, he’d say “oh, im really busy.” Last Sunday,I told him that I miss him (dumb,I know) and he replied with “we’ve only seen each other like twice” which irritated me because we’ve seen each other at least 6 times.So at this point I was already upset. He then sent me a snapchat and it was of some giraffes at the zoo and he turned the camera towards some girl he was there with. I immediately jumped to conclusions and assumed he was on a date.Without thinking things through I sent him a BUNCH of texts. I totally messed up. He replied the next day and he was very angry, he told me that what I did was totally not normal, and that he hates people who jump to conclusions, and that he doesnt know what to do with it. I agree with him completely, I behaved like a total lunatic and I shouldnt have. I am extremely ashamed of myself.. So please dont make me feel even worse, I know what I did was stupid. I apologized to him the following, day as sincerely as possible. I haven’t heard from him since. I do not know how to recover from this.I really want to make it right. Edited October 3, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and move to Dating forum
stillafool Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 He barely talked to me and when I askd him if he wanted to hang out, he’d say “oh, im really busy.” Last Sunday,I told him that I miss him (dumb,I know) and he replied with “we’ve only seen eachother like twice” which irritated me because we’ve seen eachother at least 6 times. His interest in you is very low. I don't think you messed up anything because it doesn't seem like there was anything to mess up. He doesn't look at your association the same way you do. He now sees you as needy and wanting more than he wants to give so he is backing off. The best way to get over him is to go no calling and go back to dating other guys. Don't fall for these guys so fast until they've actually asked you (with words) to be their girl.
Mardelis Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 It's all in the math. You said you've seen him 6 times, he only recalls 2. That means the other 4 times weren't that memorable. Add to that, you've only seen him those 6 times in 5 months, he's out with another girl, you're textbombing him which comes across as really nutty, and he's clearly not interested in you. I'm sorry but it doesn't bode well for any sort of future. 1
PRW Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 You both have problems. His video clips shows how stupid he is and how he lacks judgement. You send a woman you've went on dates with a video clip with those such contents it doesn't take a brain surgeon to know what she is going to think. He apparently isn't very good with math in knowing the difference between 6 and 2. However on the other hand, consider the possibility that he knew exactly what he was doing,...what does that say about him? You behavor wasn't too great either, but you've already acknowledged that. But your biggest mistake was not your reaction to the video clip (it was already over by then anyway), your biggest mistake was your expectations at the beginning. If you want o meet quality people do it though your social life and doing it "face to face". If you don't have a social life then build one. In the end this jerk's behavor is just him saying to you, "Why in the world were you expecting anything different?". Tinder is a hookup app. Hookup means "get laid" in case there is any ambiguity there. Although it is not impossible, rarely do any good valid relationships result from it. It would be silly for you to think that he isn't meeting several other women using Tinder (or any Online Dating source) at the same time he meets you. 1
Zahara Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 You've been talking to a guy for 5 months and only been on 6 dates. He can't even remember 4 out of your 6 dates. You tell him you miss him and he shuts that down. He is not interested in you. He's on Tinder so he's surely dating other women. You'd have to be incredibly naive to think he is only seeing you. Move on from this one. If you want to date and you want a relationship, then seek like minded men. Your "huge" mistake is investing in someone that isn't on the same page as you. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 You did mess up & you know that. Everyone makes mistakes. However, as others have pointed out, you were more into him then he as into you. Especially after this now he thinks you are crazy too. It has lowered his already cool interest even more to the point where it's not worth you fretting & trying to fix this. Walk away. Apologize if you like but walk away. Going forward never do that to another new man again.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 OP, while I can understand that you are cringing now about your reaction, you didn't mess it up. Why? Because this guy is very clearly not interested in you anyway. There was nothing left to mess up anymore. He's using this episode as a convenient way to call it all off, but trust me, this was already done regardless. I would not be at all surprised if he orchestrated this by intentionally sending you a video with another girl in it, knowing full well how you would react. It's just easier for him to blame you than to admit that he doesn't like you in that way and is interested in someone else. There isn't anything to make right, other than forgetting about this guy and finding one who is worth your time. For future reference, 6 dates in 5 months is an indicator of low interest. 2
Morris17 Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 This guy isn’t worth it. From what you are saying it seems like you are showing him more interest and he isn’t recipricating that. I’m also a user of Tinder and various dating apps and i’ve realised that many guys on there are like that. I personally do believe that amongst all the guys who seem uninterested, there are guys who genuinly do want to meet someone and would great a girl with respect. Those guys just seem so hard to come across. It was childish of him to send you that snapchat of him, the only point of that would seem to suggest that he wanted a reaction from you. Either way, this clearly shows the guys true colours. I admit, in the past i’ve messaged guys who have made me upset and said a bunch of things and in the moment it seems like a good thing. But on reflection if anyone was to upset me in the future, i’d just realise that the guy isn’t worth and just let things be. Though it may seem hard, I think that you should move on from him and find a guy who actually appreciates you, instead of wasting your time on someone who doesn’t treat you with the respect that you deserve.
Zippy2000 Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 This guy wasn't that into you. His level of interest was LOW. You gave him an excuse to not to reply. Id leave it at that because he`s using that excuse to not contact you.
BaileyB Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I agree with the others. It doesn't really matter what you did, because this guy was not really interested to begin. Six dates in five months does not mean a relationship. Despite the emojis and the birthday gifts and the future plans... Six dates in five months is not a guy who is serious about dating you. I'm sorry.
GoreSP Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 So he love bombed you and then ghosted you and now that you are having an emotional reaction that doesn't suit him, he is telling you you are wrong. It looks to me like he has lost interest in you and is ready to move on and you should do the same. I wouldn't apologize. You will probably never see him again. edit: I'm 99% certain the snapchat thing was deliberate too He replied the next day and he was very angry, he told me that what I did was totally not normal, and that he hates people who jump to conclusions, and that he doesnt know what to do with it. This is gaslighting. He is twisting things around making you the bad person so he doesn't have to admit he was kind of a douche.
rightondude Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 You: "I miss you!" Him: "We've only seen each other twice." yeah he ain't feeling it 1
Kelliousme Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I don't want to make you more upset but.. you gotta face reality. This guy obviously doesn't like you and shows almost no interest in dating you. Esp when you told him you miss him and he gave you a big middle finger but saying "we've only seen each other twice." Honestly.. that's a pretty ****ty guy. You should've taken the hint then and just move on. Really in this case the only mistake you've made is continuing to talk to him. Please do yourself a favor and just stop all contact and block him. Move on to the next guy and do not repeat the same mistake.
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