SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Ive been seeing a guy for two months now. This week (Monday) I text him and asked him did he want to go to the movies. He said he was busy he had an exam Wednesday and had plans with friends Wednesday and Saturday - these are the only two days im free as Im working however he did say he was unsure of the plans on Wednesday and said we could then if they fell through. I replied and said yes that would be nice and asked was he working Sunday with the intention of scheduling for then if he couldnt make wednesday. That was Monday now its wednesday and he hasnt replied to my text since then. He hasn’t been online either so I assume his was studying. Either way I still don’t know what his plan is for tonight as he did indicate it was possible. Should I text again to ask or hold out see if he texts and if he doesn’t move on?
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Ive been seeing a guy for two months now. This week (Monday) I text him and asked him did he want to go to the movies. He said he was busy he had an exam Wednesday and had plans with friends Wednesday and Saturday - these are the only two days im free as Im working however he did say he was unsure of the plans on Wednesday and said we could then if they fell through. I replied and said yes that would be nice and asked was he working Sunday with the intention of scheduling for then if he couldnt make wednesday. That was Monday now its wednesday and he hasnt replied to my text since then. He hasn’t been online either so I assume his was studying. Either way I still don’t know what his plan is for tonight as he did indicate it was possible. Should I text again to ask or hold out see if he texts and if he doesn’t move on? No. Call him and ask him. You've been seeing him for two month. Why can't you have a conversation with him? 1
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 because i dont want to come across as needy and he didnt reply to my last message
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 (What is up with the timing window? the 240 seconds haven't even passed and it's already locked me out of correcting my post) To add to the above: His plans haven't fallen through, as you both agreed he'd get in touch if they did. He might call you before Sunday to confirm. You'll have to wait to see since you don't want to contact him.
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 No. His plans haven't fallen through, as you both agreed he'd get in touch if they did. He might call you before Sunday to confirm. You'll have to wait to see since you don't want to contact him. But you've been seeing him for two month. Why can't you have a conversation with him? We didnt make plans for sunday. I asked him Monday was he free this week. He said if he wasnt going with his mates Wednesday then we could go to the movies but he hasnt told me if he is or isnt going with his friends as he didnt reply to my message so im asking whether i should send him another text to ask if he is still going with them or not tonight
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 because i dont want to come across as needy and he didnt reply to my last message How does that make you look needy? Do you want to know if you two still have plans or not?
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 We didnt make plans for sunday. I asked him Monday was he free this week. He said if he wasnt going with his mates Wednesday then we could go to the movies but he hasnt told me if he is or isnt going with his friends as he didnt reply to my message so im asking whether i should send him another text to ask if he is still going with them or not tonight I think it's clear that his plans with his boys didn't fall through, so no phone call was necessary since he wasn't going to be seeing you. 2
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 but he hasnt replied to my message to let me know that which is extremely frustrating
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 but he hasnt replied to my message to let me know that which is extremely frustrating Could be because he's been ghosting you for some time now:
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 is it ghosting though when hes replying and since he did suggest we meet today?
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Could be because he's been ghosting you for some time now: Given this, I'd say stop contacting him. He's not interested anymore. AT this early stage in the honeymoon period, him choosing to spend Saturday night with his boys and not his woman is screaming volumes about how he esteems your situationship.
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 is it ghosting though when hes replying and since he did suggest we meet today? Suggesting it and doing it are two different things.
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 Well if he is ghosting he shouldnt be suggesting anything then he should either grow a pair and tell me he doesnt want to continue and stop wasting my time or else stop texting and leading me on. Either way its not fair and its not ok to say "he's ghosting you; stop contacting him". I deserve a bit more than that. Ghosting nor this flakiness is not acceptable to treat anyone.
stillafool Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 because i dont want to come across as needy and he didnt reply to my last message Do you think texting makes you appear less needy? 1
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 No it doesnt matter what method of communcation i use if i asked the same questions over the phone he is still going to percieve me as needy if he wants to
stillafool Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Well if he is ghosting he shouldnt be suggesting anything then he should either grow a pair and tell me he doesnt want to continue and stop wasting my time or else stop texting and leading me on. Either way its not fair and its not ok to say "he's ghosting you; stop contacting him". I deserve a bit more than that. Ghosting nor this flakiness is not acceptable to treat anyone. I agree but you can't control others only yourself. So you have to decide the appropriate way to handle these situations when this happens to you. 1
stillafool Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 is it ghosting though when hes replying and since he did suggest we meet today? It could be if you don't hear from him today or it could be he's having so much fun with his friends he simply forgot.
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 I agree but you can't control others only yourself. So you have to decide the appropriate way to handle these situations when this happens to you. right now im out, ive tried so hard im the one messaging him and trying to set things up then he goes awol. Yes he has exams (which is over now by the way) but he can still reply while hes waiting for the kettle to boil
Versacehottie Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I think it's clear that his plans with his boys didn't fall through, so no phone call was necessary since he wasn't going to be seeing you. Kendke is right. Right or wrong, this is how a big portion of the guy population thinks. No call or contact necessary because you agreed to see each other if his already-made plans with his friends fell through. The either haven't fallen through or haven't yet so that's why you haven't heard from him. It's frustrating but this is how they OFTEN think. hilarious and frustrating. We are 100 times (exaggerated but true-ish) more verbal and more in need of verbal contact than guys. If i was in your shoes, I would just assume today is not happening, make your own plans (i.e. don't sign up to be a backup in any way/i would have never agreed to that backup scenario in first place). Then contact him to finalize sunday plans. Handle it like you have your own life but enjoy the time you are spending together--also conveys that you aren't needy. Approach with confidence about sunday. Good luck
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 thank you. we didnt make sunday plans though as he didnt reply to my message about whether or not he was working sunday. i guess he just couldnt give a hoot and is not interested
stillafool Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Maybe you should not try to make plans with him any longer since it doesn't seem to be working out that way. Just wait until he contacts you and makes plans then perhaps they will be carried through.
hippychick3 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I think you need to pull way back from this guy and start making plans for yourself with friends/family/hobbies. Stop reaching out to him and get busy without him. 2
Author SBM1111 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 I think you need to pull way back from this guy and start making plans for yourself with friends/family/hobbies. Stop reaching out to him and get busy without him. thats what i plan on doing. But i still feel hurt by the way hes handled things. He could have at least replied to me and let me know what was happening instead of ignoring my message
stillafool Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Girls are far more attractive when they are busy with their own lives to the point they don't pay much attention to their phones or social media. You should be out with your friends and he should be worrying about when you will get back to him.
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