confused83 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Me and a friend are debating this subject about how his partner of just 3 months who never sends a good morning text or a goodnight one. He says shes not a big texter and if he doesnt contact her he may not hear anything until the evening. Hes explained that when he logs in to whatsapp every morning it'll of shown her online an hour or so before yet doesnt send him anything which he then comes to work and assumes that means she isnt thinking of him. (Sorry but whatsapp can be The devil app for relationships). Now my argument was that if everything else in the Relation ship is fine and she asks to see you regular then its okay and not to panic. Ive tried to explain that if he nags about something so small itll look needy and he should pick his battles if all else is truly good in the Relationship, and possibly turn off the 'last seen' privacy, but hes addiment on saying something to her as it bothers him. Wouldn't you agree it looks needy when all else is good?? As i fear for him that saying something could end in an 'i told you so' situation.
guest569 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Why does she have to initiative everything? Asking to see him, texting first to say she is thinking of him? Why doesn't he initiative some texts and dates?
Author confused83 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Posted October 3, 2018 Why does she have to initiative everything? Asking to see him, texting first to say she is thinking of him? Why doesn't he initiative some texts and dates? I probably didnt explain the full situation as im just looking for kind of a poll on who agrees and doesnt. He does initiate and so does she. All i know from what hes said is the relationship is perfect apart from that which is bothering him. For example this morning he has said he got to work, she'd been online and not said anything so he text her good morning. It just bothers him as shes awake first but i did say 'maybe she just doesnt want to wake you' if it matters shes 25 hes 27... oh to be young and in love haha
guest569 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I probably didnt explain the full situation as im just looking for kind of a poll on who agrees and doesnt. So, what exactly is the question? What is he proposing to do or say? He feels the way he feels, there is nothing to agree or disagree about.
basil67 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 Yep, I'm voting that he'd look needy if he raises this subject. Does he realise that people with busy lives can spend great periods of the day without thinking of their partner? Or is he the kind who thinks he should be on her mind for great parts of the day?
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 The morning text thing is not something anyone wants to start IMO. What happens if she forgets, she sleeps in, her phone's battery is flat... how does she explain that without looking dodgy? NO, it is a bad idea. No-one wants to have that hanging over them, every single day.... If he thinks a morning text means she is not sleeping with anyone else then he needs to think again
BaileyB Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 We text each other at some point in the morning or at lunch. Just a quick - "how's your day going..." And, we will often make plans for the evening. We do send each other goodnight texts. Again, just a "was it a good day?" and "I love you - sleep well." It doesn't take much time. It's nice to do.
Sarah_Smiles Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I'm not a big texter, so I would wait until lunchtime and make a phone call to say hello, miss you, discuss after work plans if we had something special on the go. I prefer nighttime/bedtime check-ins ( if you want to call it that) over early am, when in a rush before work times.
central Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I don't want to get or send texts for routine stuff like that. Let's talk, maybe once a day at most, and then see each other whenever possible. This every morning and/or evening texting thing seems awfully needy, codependent, and annoying. I'd probably get sick of someone who wanted to do this! 1
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 (Sorry but whatsapp can be The devil app for relationships). No--you all just need to turn off the creeping feature on that app. Lack of self discipline is what this is about... nothing more.
Veronica73 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 If I’m in an exclusive relationship, I like texts earlyish in the day, and also good night texts. I think it’s nice. But I think if one person gets up earlier than the other person, it seems like it should be the later-rising person who should text good morning. If you know or suspect someone is asleep, why would you text them?
kendahke Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 No--you all just need to turn off the creeping feature on that app. Lack of self discipline is what this is about... nothing more. To add: But to the post: Yes--he's needy in the extreme. In the initial phases of a new relationship, yes people live on the text until they are confident that the object of their interest is also interested and like minded. Then the texting tapers off because other things in life, that got pushed aside while they focused on the sprout of the new relationship, are now demanding attention. That's how life works. I don't expect to be bombarded by texts at any time of the day--in fact, too much texting is extremely annoying to me. Just call if you have that much to say.
Zahara Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 (edited) Boyfriend will send a quick sweet text in the morning and sometimes I will reach out first. I think it only started a few months into our relationship but has been a daily thing since then and we're into two years together. We do however make it a point to talk on the phone every night but if he is busy with his son, then we make sure to connect on the phone on the way home. I don't think we have ever missed a day. Edited October 3, 2018 by Zahara
Happy Lemming Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I don't want to get or send texts for routine stuff like that. I'd probably get sick of someone who wanted to do this! Same here... no morning texts needed or sent. All I want in the morning is my cup of coffee and the weather for the day. I know I'd get sick of a "Good Morning" text real quick and I'd tell my girlfriend to stop. I've told her text me if your car breaks down or your apartment floods or some other emergency, otherwise e-mail me. I'll get back to you when I return e-mail(s) for the day.
damni Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I usually let my boyfriend initiate the morning text, this to me was to gauge his interest. Now we have been dating 5 months, I have started to initiate the morning texts etc. For me it was an confidence thing, maybe it is the same for your friend girlfriend?
Penguin_hugs Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 I often send good morning texts- I know my BF thought that was weird at first- but now he often sends them himself. We've been together about 9 months- and my heart still completely flutters when I see a message from him- so I feel like it sets my day off right. He has definitely said I shouldn't feel obligated to send a message. I like bedtime messages- but it was something my BF wasn't used to at all. And I wasted a lot of time waiting for him to reply to my last message at bedtime- he'd just not think about it and go to bed after reading a message. So we compromised. He set up an app to send me super cheesy bedtime messages at 10pm every day! They are proper cringey and make me laugh every night- so it really works for us! I guess I was used to doing that in my last relationship as we were LDR for a while. Whereas my BF now is only 5 mins away.
Surfer Joe Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 We did a lot of texting when we first started dating, but it has tapered off as we've gotten more comfortable in our relationship. I think the desire to have that regular daily morning or evening text comes out of feeling uncertain and needing that reinforcement that the other person is still as into it as you are. I think that's normal, but I also think in a good relationship that you should get to the point where you no longer need that. My girlfriend is a teacher and I'll generally send her a quick message during the day...but just really to say hello, good morning, whatever. I don't get upset or worried if she doesn't reply. I know she's probably busy and there are times when I'm busy and can't find time to respond to her. I can definitely understand why he is anxious about it, but I'm not sure how he should respond. I probably would not bring it up with her...but then again...if it is an emotional need that is not getting met - maybe he should.
RedHead5 Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 So I just posted something about this not long ago. I was trying to decide if I wanted to start this and I opted for no. I have been in the situation where we did good morning and good night texts and honestly it becomes so obligatory and blah. I was concerned about starting this after having lived it once. What is there to say in the morning, nothing has happened yet. Especially if you said good night too? After being worried about this I let it go and we have kinda settled into saying something if we see a funny meme or something major happens but otherwise just an evening check in. And it's not unusual for us to say nothing at all on days we see each other in person besides, lmk when you get home or omw. If one of us posts on social media during the day maybe a like or comment. But no good mornings. And really not good nights either. Usually just a short convo that trails off in the evening with no actual conclusion. I assume he is okay with this too but we have never really talked about it. Tell your friend to calm down. It doesn't even mean she isn't thinking about him. If she is like me she is thinking about him but just not into dry, obligatory conversation.
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Posted October 3, 2018 My GF is away in her home state so there isn't much texting. She not a fan of it and I am not either. Use that cell phone it's not about the static cold text it's about hearing her voice like in my case. Call instead of text and say good morning (her name) then say I love you! That's all too it!
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