Author guest569 Posted October 5, 2018 Author Posted October 5, 2018 Hmm, could have been a negative spiral where you both simply mirrored each other hoping the other would step it up. Can I ask what green lights you gave him? It's possible. I mean I honestly am over it and don't want to go into the details but I feel like I definitely showed interest and he simply backed off. He was backing off before the third date but stkll went along only because I reached out to see if we were going to hang out. I don't think I would bother with him since he didn't walk me to my car and didn't make much effort with conversation on the last date. I texted him happy bday 4 days ago and he gave a short reply 12 hrs later. Nothing since. From us alternating initiating a daily text to silence. 1
MaleIntuition Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 It's possible. I mean I honestly am over it and don't want to go into the details but I feel like I definitely showed interest and he simply backed off. He was backing off before the third date but stkll went along only because I reached out to see if we were going to hang out. I don't think I would bother with him since he didn't walk me to my car and didn't make much effort with conversation on the last date. I texted him happy bday 4 days ago and he gave a short reply 12 hrs later. Nothing since. From us alternating initiating a daily text to silence. I agree with your assessment. Not interested...
Author guest569 Posted October 5, 2018 Author Posted October 5, 2018 I agree with your assessment. Not interested... Yeah I mean the only other thing I could do is reach out one last time and try to feel what is going on or just ask outright? If there was some miscommunication or whatever. But he knows my number and he knows I am here, I'm pretty sure he knows I fancy him. He's just fading. He wasn't too shy to ask me out in the first place, and text here and there to see how my day was going. I possible took a little coaxing for a first date as I had some issues, but he persevered (so I get why it might be hard for him to ask me out - while I never rejected him, I was hesitant), and we both wanted to take things slowly, he was not wanting to pressure me etc. He is a bit of a manly man who is not overly expressive. So there was all that in the back of my mind.. But also loss of interest. He asked me on a second date etc.all was fine during and after that, daily texts. Said he wanted to see me on the weekend of the third date, but the weekend went by and I had to reach out and see what was happening and twist his arm see if he still wanted to do the activity we discussed and that he seemed keen on. So maybe he found someone better in that time. I really don't know. It makes me sad..
depcharger Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 During a first date, after it, and communication that follows. And follow up dates. Women, how good are you at sensing that he is not interested? Men, what are some things you would do or say if you're not interested? All, how do you distinguish between someone who is a shy, introvert versus not interested? If you're not interested, or semi interested, do you persevere for a few dates? What do you do if you feel that they are losing interest? Let me be clear lots and lots of dudes would like to have a side chick... so they will string a girl along.... Here are ways you can find out 1. If you are an option not a priority, a guy who is into you will want to see you and often, If he is really secretive about his phone.... HUGE warning sign if he is only available to talk during certain times or see you during certain times trust me honey, you ain't the only one
Author guest569 Posted October 7, 2018 Author Posted October 7, 2018 So, 5 days have passed and have not heard a word and I felt the ball was definitely in his court. Even if the ball was in my court, he would shout out by now if he gave a rats. Whatevs, I'm a cool and hawt chick and I have options. So I aint gonna cry over this type of rejection. It's just I'm not used to going on 3 dates and NOTHING to happen. I've had bad first dates and never gone on a second, but to have 3 dates and not progress at all is just so... BUMMER. Not even get some hand holding action. It does sting but I won't blame myself, am I not pretty enough etc. Been talking to a new guy who asked me out and seems like we have a lot in common. He is 7 yrs younger. He seems mature, intelligent, and doing stuff with life. We'll see if age difference is an issue. What do you think? Cart before horse, though. I'll meet him first and see what the vibe is. Main thing is, I'm excited and hopeful that there is someone out there for me. I will find him. And I will wed him. Also, I need to keep sorting my head out and trying to make new friends so I don't feel so bummed about a rejection. I can say 'well I have family and friends who love me'. Right now I kinda feel like I don't even fit in with family and friends. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm lost. Ugh.
alphamale Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 I don't fit in anywhere. I'm lost. Ugh. you fit in here on LS smiley1 1
mortensorchid Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 I think you have to separate yourself from this whole "independence" and "modern woman/man" and "equality" talk. Am I for those things? Well, yes of course I am. Am I all those things? Yes I am. However, after many lousy encounters and having learned a lot in life, I also have gotten to a point where I realize that the things I sighted as rules / regulations if and when I am to meet this man for a date is that this is basic courtesy. He shows me that he's not that into me, or that he doesn't even like me in the slightest enough to treat me with respect if and when the things that I have sighted happen. ANd if he's not going to bother or he's not interested, then what's the point? Depressing, but ... It's what it is.
mortensorchid Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 So, 5 days have passed and have not heard a word and I felt the ball was definitely in his court. Even if the ball was in my court, he would shout out by now if he gave a rats. Whatevs, I'm a cool and hawt chick and I have options. So I aint gonna cry over this type of rejection. It's just I'm not used to going on 3 dates and NOTHING to happen. I've had bad first dates and never gone on a second, but to have 3 dates and not progress at all is just so... BUMMER. Not even get some hand holding action. It does sting but I won't blame myself, am I not pretty enough etc. Right. So close the book and move on. Remember the 48 hour rule - if you haven't heard from him in 48 hours, he's not interested. Next.
Author guest569 Posted October 7, 2018 Author Posted October 7, 2018 Right. So close the book and move on. Remember the 48 hour rule - if you haven't heard from him in 48 hours, he's not interested. Next. Tick! I think. Still not a word out of him, but I deleted his number days ago and have been chatting to a new guy who seems pretty cool. I mean, I have been generous and allowed much more than 48 hours and he still hasn't bothered, so hell yeah! Next!
Chilli Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 (edited) To me questions like this are pretty weird , but yet on the other hand now and then l know it can be ya just can't tell wt ? Never really dated as such just tended to meet people back when and if it was someone ya liked, each other hopefully , you'd call her go round her place and next minute you were usually an item. Seems like such a common sense thing to me , it's just like anyone, if you like people your interested in them , ya feel it, ya act it, well same for the opposite sex. But l know to it can be tricky sometimes. Back in my 20s a friend of my sisters l'd liked for years but she never once took any notice of me, we'd never even talk, so l didn't even imagine she'd be the slightest bit interested. We got together though at a party one night and it turned out she'd been liking me for years to but was too shy to show it. We ended up together for a year or so. Knew her 5 , 6 yrs hanging round the house with my sister in our teens, never would've thought in a million years. l didn't show it though because she never and she never because l never. Best thing you can do l've always thought since then is show your interest , no games no bs, just show you like someone , and just see if it's returned because ya never do know, you could get a nice surprise. Edited October 7, 2018 by Chilli
Author guest569 Posted October 7, 2018 Author Posted October 7, 2018 Yes Chilli, I think it is usually very obvious to me whether or not a man is interested! So this one was quite confusing for me to navigate. There is usually a vibe, a look about them, and some enthusiasm. I left some leeway because he seems super introverted and not the type to want to meet up all the time. Helped out a little with shining the green light at him in case he was shy or uncertain. Now that some time has passed it is very evident that he has lost interest, a stark contrast between daily texts to a long delayed response to NOTHING.
Chilli Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 Ahh , sorry to hear that smiley. But who knows what's just around the next bend hey, life has a way sometimes of getting one thing out of the way to make room for another even better.
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