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So in love hurting


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Posted

I want to thank everyone for the advice. I just need to stop thinking about the what could have been. I love this girl with all that's in me and I know it will just take a long time to heal my pain. I'm a frequent visitor of pain of the heart. Hopefully I can learn and grow from this. I don't know if I will ever find love because I sure haven't yet. If God does send me a woman you can be assured she will be treated like a princess with everything in me.

Posted
I plan on focusing on myself. I own a large farm besides work so when I leave work I can climb on a tractor and keep busy. The sad part is I put a down payment on some very expensive cows for her that we were supposed to get next spring. She is still teasing me at work and acting like everything is hunky dory. I know I have learned a valuable lesson and if I ever get over this I will never let my guard down again. I am better than this and deserve more.

 

This girl is a user and a jerk. Get your money back for the cows or get them and put them on your farm. Don't give her anything. She is using you. Go to church and meet a woman not a girl.

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Posted

I agree, I would love more than anything to find a good Christian woman with morales and values. Just not sure if God had that in store for me. I know I pray for it every night.

Posted
She just came by and tried to scare me and was laughing. I said look I'm just going to leave you alone. I am so pathetic and deserve so much more than this.Thank you all for letting me be a piece of crap.

 

Thank you all for letting me be a piece of crap.

 

just to get this straight....you aren't crap.no poster on your thread has said that..dont ever think that again...

 

...her behaviour is crap...you don't deserve it ever especially for loving someone such as her...you deserve love in return not manipulation....hold your head up ..everyone gets played at least once in their lifetime....that's fact and you aren't pathetic......

 

be proud that you would never treat someone as she has treated you...makes you a good person which is furthest from being crap.....good luck...deb.....

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Posted

Thank you Deb, I have tried to be a good man but I have done plenty wrong that I regret. Life must go on and I will get over it I'm sure and it probably won't be the last heart ache I will go through. I just can't understand why people treat people so badly. If only she had been honest with me.

  • Like 1
Posted
If only she had been honest with me.

 

If she was honest, you wouldn't be where you are. She was cheating on her boyfriend with you -- how do you have expectations of someone being honest with you when you both already started out on a lie.

 

You need to start seeing people for who they are rather than project what you believe they should be.

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Posted

Yes you are correct and I didn't know she was still with him until after the fact. Yes I'm a fool.

Posted
Yes you are correct and I didn't know she was still with him until after the fact. Yes I'm a fool.

 

You need to stop the negative self-talk. It's not healthy. If you go back and read your posts, you have a tendency of belittling yourself.

 

You've made mistakes. You acknowledge that you need to work on YOU. So stop beating yourself up. It's not going to help you but only reinforce the already negative belief you have within yourself.

 

People use other people. It happens. I've been through hell and back more times than I care to remember. I've been used and discarded. More than once. No ones fault but mine. I allowed it. I made bad choices and I paid dearly. So you're not the only one. The thing about these lessons is that you need to learn from them and come out stronger.

 

Find all the resources you can and work towards creating a relationship with yourself. Stay away from dating for awhile. It's not beneficial for you or anyone else if you aren't in a healthy state of mind emotionally.

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Posted

Oh trust me I don't want anything to do with dating or relationships for a while. After my divorce I didn't date for 3 years.

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Posted

Well I screwed up and messaged her and asked how her mom was doing. No reply back I guess she is with one of her many bo's. Haha

Posted

Just stop messaging her to make yourself feel closer to her again.....it's not making you feel good at all. If you want to stop people from treating you like crap, then the first step would be to block and delete her number....deter yourself from contacting her and her contacting you.

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Posted
Well I screwed up and messaged her and asked how her mom was doing. No reply back I guess she is with one of her many bo's. Haha

 

Stop contacting her. Block her number. Delete it from your phone. Don't talk to her at work. Keep it professional. You need to start taking steps towards self-preservation.

Posted
I agree, I would love more than anything to find a good Christian woman with morales and values. Just not sure if God had that in store for me. I know I pray for it every night.

 

Oh Sweetie, she's there and God's listening you're just looking in the wrong place.

  • Author
Posted

Thank you all, I had a little better day. I spoke to her briefly I love her but deep down I know she isn't for me. It's just hard. She told. Me today she was single and staying single. I told her that's what she needed to do but I don't think she will. I think she likes to sleep around to much.

Posted
Because I love her, should I tell her she hurt me?

 

No don't do that. You are just trying to prolong contact and keep a relationship, even if it is negative and hurtful toward you, going. This further erodes your self-esteem.

 

She's a user. The best first step you can do is to DECIDE that you are choosing yourself and what that would look like, i.e. commit to not talking to her and then execute that. It won't be totally easy but having control over your own life and making PROGRESS tends to build self-esteem. Think of it like this: each step you take to get her out of your mind and life will take you closer to someone who does care about you and will see all of your good points. You cannot solve your self-esteem stuff by possessing her although I'm sure it feels like it.

 

Never thought I'd say this but: try to get the cows back!

  • Like 1
Posted
Just stop messaging her to make yourself feel closer to her again.....it's not making you feel good at all. If you want to stop people from treating you like crap, then the first step would be to block and delete her number....deter yourself from contacting her and her contacting you.

 

Wow perfect answer! lol, sorry smackie I wrote almost the same thing and hadn't seen yours (swear i didn't copy it!). Anyway, yeah do what she said!!

  • Like 1
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Posted

I agree with you all. Thank every one of you for helping me through this. I have No one to talk to. It hurts and honestly it's stupid to hurt over something so petty.

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Posted

You know I was talking to a buddy of mine today and he said you know I would love to have your life. He said you have a good job a farm. He said I have a wife kids and debt. I said buddy I would trade with yij in a heart beat. You have the world and I have items.

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