Assessing Physical Looks

[Mysterio]

So for you. When you are out there dating or in a relationship. What do you think you need to be attracted to the opposite sex. Take away personality.

 

For a man. Short hair vs long or even punk shaved. Lip rings, yes or no. Does ethnicity play a role. Height/weight.

 

Same for women as well.

 

What I am getting at is that I think that no matter what. One can't overide physical attraction. In todays society, it feels like we inflate looks wise, who is for us. Or who we can attract.

 

When I read examples of people getting tuned down for dates. The first thing that comes to mind is someones looks is devalued or we expect too much.

 

When I look at my looks. I don't think I should be a playboy, but I don't think I should have it bleak as well.

[basil67]

Mysterio, you have numerous posts about physical looks. What is it that fascinates you so much about the topic?

[nospam99]

For a man. Short hair vs long or even punk shaved. Lip rings, yes or no. Does ethnicity play a role. Height/weight.

 

Long hair preferred but not required. Shaved would be a pretty big turn-off.

Preferred: neither piercings nor ink (I'm 'old' and traditional).

Caucasian preferred. 'Light' otherwise: Asian, Pacific Islander, JLo-complexion Hispanic.

My height (5'8'') down to about 4'10'' preferred. If she's taller, well ... how does she 'feel' in my arms in a waltz or foxtrot?

Weight is critical. Have a waist, one chin, and no fat (smooth is okay and desirable) on arms and legs.

 

FWIW, without doing a formal count, half the photos I see on OLD of women in the 60-66 age range and three quarters in the 54-59 range fit my criteria.

Edited October 1, 2018 by nospam99

[Mysterio]

I think that physical looks carry a lot of weight in determining who gets picked romantically. If not. Then nothing happens. Of course personality plays a role as well.

 

When I read here about people being virgins vs the ones that have no problem going from relationship to relationship. I wonder if its about looks. No matter how we all say its more important to have a good heart and be a good person. It does not matter.

 

If the Physical looks don't factor into a romantic relationship. Long term or short. Nothing will start with out it.

[Unhappy_Nerd]

Hmm.

Personal preference is towards women that are their own person, and this is often expressed through appearance...

 

Hair: pretty much anything except for dreads, braids, and weaves. I love non-traditional colors too...blue, purple, pinks, bright reds, etc.

 

Ethnicity: don't particularly care about this, except as it relates to skin tones. So typically asians, whites, and lighter skinned latinos are my preference. Paler mixes are fine too.

 

Skin tone: the paler the better. I've never been attracted to darker skin tones. I find heavily tanned white chicks to be rather unappealing...skin like old leather. ><

I absolutely love piercings and ink. Good tattoos are gorgeous.

 

Height: prefer shorter, but that's mostly because women prefer taller men. I'm 5'8", but have dated taller women. Ex wife was 5'10".

 

Weight: I don't mind a few extra pounds. I'm a decent sized guy (stocky, although not 'fat', think strong-man type build), and once women get to be my sized or larger, I lose attraction.

 

Goth girls, punks, and metal heads are what I find the sexiest (think of the suicide girls), but I'm also attracted to more 'normal' looking women as well...just have a preference for the alternative look. Women like that are generally more independent and have their own personalities.

[Happy Lemming]

I like a curvy woman, someone with a little meat on the bones... chunky, chubby, use whatever adjective you want... Well fed and happy to see a hot meal placed in front of her.

 

My favorite hair color is a redhead, then brunette and finally blonde. Long hair all the way, no short hair or shaved...

 

Not a fan of tattoos or facial piercings, light makeup is OK, just not too much.

 

I usually date Caucasian or Latina. I'm not opposed to Asian, just haven't dated any.

 

Any height under 6'1"; I don't want to date any women taller than me. Did that once and didn't like it.

 

I know its not a physical feature, but I need her to be intelligent. She should be able to hold up her end of a conversation and challenge me intellectually from time to time.

 

Just my preferences...

[Rotn'roses]

Hmmm...I remember my girlfriends used to tease me in high school about all the beautiful blonde hair, blue-eyed jocks that were interested in me but I only dated two guys and one looked a bit like quasimoto and the other like marilyn manson. They made me laugh though and weren't part of the "in" crowd. For some reason I couldn't take the other boys seriously and I was a very shy and private person and the guys I dated were graduated already and I did not want to be talked about in a sexual way among my peers. I heard what some of the good looking young men said about their ex cheer leader girlfriends and was turned off by it. Mostly though...I see people for who they are on the inside. I do feel there is merit to that old adage. But, I have been floored before by a man's physical beauty on a few rare occasions. In those instances, I just like to admire them from afar or befriend them, but only because when you have an outer trapping that is that beautiful, it takes time to unravel what is behind that outer trapping. Perhaps that is why the physical appeal is intriguing to many people.

It is the mystery of what lies beneath such a pretty, thin veil. Will there be more beauty underneath? Will there be something dark and ominous? Will that outer case contain exactly what you are looking for deep down inside of it, or will you find out that it holds little warmth and insight for you to remain captivated by it? All some people can gather, is that the possibilities are definitely worth exploring!

Edited October 1, 2018 by Rotn'roses

[SunnyWeather]

charisma and confidence.

 

no amount of hair gel, tats or piercings can replace those key attributes.

[Mysterio]

Here is the thing about charisma and confidence.

 

Unless there is someone receptive to it. Its moot point. I think I am great. I still don't like to be that brazen with women. Also. I don't feel like I am around women that are single for the most part.

 

I just feel that most of us are on some physical scale. The better looking you are, the more you have to play with. I can't say I have had nothing. Its just whats around me is suspect.

 

I don't live in a social environment where I feel like a lot of women are datable. Where their single status is in play all the time. I have to always be in a very stratagized mind set, where I have to see if they are single before I start anything. Its hard to tell, with out asking if they are and it feels funny to ask.

[SunnyWeather]

Here is the thing about charisma and confidence.

 

Unless there is someone receptive to it. Its moot point. I think I am great. I still don't like to be that brazen with women. Also. I don't feel like I am around women that are single for the most part.

 

I just feel that most of us are on some physical scale. The better looking you are, the more you have to play with. I can't say I have had nothing. Its just whats around me is suspect.

 

I don't live in a social environment where I feel like a lot of women are datable. Where their single status is in play all the time. I have to always be in a very stratagized mind set, where I have to see if they are single before I start anything. Its hard to tell, with out asking if they are and it feels funny to ask.

 

wouldn't you want someone who is 'receptive' to your charisma? just be real and the right one will cross your path. and please, don't confuse 'brazen' with being confident. It's an inner quality, a knowing that creates that heart thumping charisma

 

to your other points, if the women aren't single, then that could be why you are perceiving lack of interest, just sayin

[Chilli]

I think that physical looks carry a lot of weight in determining who gets picked romantically. If not. Then nothing happens. Of course personality plays a role as well.

 

When I read here about people being virgins vs the ones that have no problem going from relationship to relationship. I wonder if its about looks. No matter how we all say its more important to have a good heart and be a good person. It does not matter.

 

If the Physical looks don't factor into a romantic relationship. Long term or short. Nothing will start with out it.

 

For all the virgins , so much of everything is personality . l've known great looking virgins, he's and she's but they've often through no fault their own usually just been a bit shy or something and also have usually just never gotten out there much and when they do they're a bit too shy to turn it on and mingle in the way that gets you places.

 

Won't go into my looks preference apart from very feminine and petite but l've only ever gone for European girls. l'm not in the states but grew up in a very mixed city and l just love their depth and soul, values, beliefs, their ways, and black hair haha.

l know there's all kinds of hair but l love black.

[basil67]

When I read here about people being virgins vs the ones that have no problem going from relationship to relationship. I wonder if its about looks

 

I tend to assume it's either related to social skills or presentation. When I say 'presentation', I don't mean the looks they were born with but rather what they do with what they have. Then again, it's not uncommon for those with poor social skills to dress in a way which tells the world they have poor social skills.

Edited October 2, 2018 by basil67

[littleblackheart]

Height: don't care.

Weight: don't care (I care about health more)

Skin tone: don't care

Ethnicity: don't care

Eye / hair colour: don't care

 

I have little relationship experience - nothing to do with my looks, marginally to do with my social skills (I need much longer than most to feel comfortable with someone, and people aren't very patient - I don't blame them; it is what it is), mostly to do with not wanting to the hassle of being in a relationship.

 

For a casual fling (I've had a couple recently), that inexplicable 'vibe', also not related to looks.

 

I may be an outlier, but looks aren't that much of a deciding factor on anything for me.

Edited October 2, 2018 by littleblackheart

[Haydn]

As long she looks like Kate Beckinsale, all will be well.....

 

Actually a sense of humour kind of leaps out when it comes to attractiveness. (For me)

 

Once, i was at the checkout in Tesco, i`d rather overdone the weekly shop.

 

A girl behind me smiled as i almost dropped the pickled onions.

 

She looked at how much food i had and calmly said....

 

`Hows the diet going?`

 

I was smitten and proceeded to rather badly chat her up as i juggled with a multi pack of baked beans.

[todreaminblue]

confidence is important.....friendly counts......in australia you arent allowed to smile when you get your drivers licence because it transforms your face ......and its true .....if a guy smiles more .....i would bet my bottom dollar that he will get more dates...a smile transforms a person.... i have heard many conversations around this....when she smiles...when he smiles..and i have been transfixed myself by smiles that i couldn't help but smile back even when depressed... seeing the type of smile that can change clouds of grey to a blue sky day..i would date that guy...

 

 

when people smile genuinely....the spirit and heart are seen....and that...my friend mysterio...is very very .....attractive...its magnetic...divine......i believe.......deb

[guest569]

Tall, thin, handsome smooth face, short hair,pretty eyez

[No_Go]

I'm thinking of the men I dated (long and short term, randomly ordered):

- Caucasian, tall, thin, light eyes, dark hair (long), mid 30s

- Asian (mixed), average height, thin, green eyes, brown hair, late 30s

- Caucasian, average height, stocky, hazel eyes, balding redhead, mid 30s

- Caucasian, average height, thin, blue eyes, blond hair, late 20s

- Black, very tall, average weight, mid 40s

- dark Latino, average height/weight, dark eyes, dark hair (long), mid 40s

- Caucasian, average/tall, shaved, blue eyes, shaved head, late 30s

 

The only pattern is that there is no pattern Actually looking at it, the only pattern is that I'm attracted to mid 30s and up (and this is my entire life history, remarkable it stayed the same). I think there are more Caucasians just because of the total population count in the places I lived.

 

Hair/eyes/skin made no difference, I always preferred tall guys but less then half of the ones I was actually attracted to fit into this category. I also prefer average to thin, which is reflected in the selection.

[thefooloftheyear]

I like women with a strong back....

 

 

TFY

[healing light]

Prefer men that are taller than me. I'm 5'3"ish so that's not a tough requirement to meet. In a perfect world, over 5'6" but that's not a strict rule for me.

 

Have liked everything from blond to dark brown hair. Prefer short hair and shaved face. Have not found myself attracted to a bald man or a man with a shaved head, yet.

 

Typically, the men I'm attracted to are Caucasian. If not, then usually mixed race or Hispanic.

 

The vast majority of my attraction occurs in the face. I like it when a man has soft eyes.

 

Prefer thin, average, or muscular build. Haven't been attracted to a stocky man yet.

 

 

I agree that there has to be a bare minimum spark to work with, but even if the guy is objectively the hottest man on the planet, it wouldn't do anything for me if he didn't have a good personality. So personality can take me from neutral/small spark with someone to being really attracted to them, and it can also make a really good-looking man completely unattractive to me.

[Chilli]

I like women with a strong back....

 

 

TFY

 

 

 

ahh yessaa, very important :bunny:

[Mysterio]

For me attraction begins with the face. I would rather take a woman with a great face and a not to thick, but curvy body. Than a banging bod, but the face I am not into.

 

I don't really have an ethnic preference. I am a black man and I find all races beautiful when it comes to women.

[hippychick3]

I used to think I had a preference until I went on a gazillion dates after my divorce and realized that a very average looking man defying all ideal physical attributes could ignite a spark with me with his confidence, intelligence, charm, and great sense of humor. And vice versa.

[preraph]

I mean, what I found ideal was different than lots of guys I dated. Overriding everything is I liked a guy with swagger and style, rock style usually. I prefer long well done hair, rock hair. But I'd have been in a bit of a drought if I stuck to it during punk days. Hated it when they all cut their hair.

 

Any more than an ear piercing, I'd rather not. I have no piercings myself. All the rock guys were tattooed. If they have very many, I don't like it. And most of them had too many. I just think flesh is sexy, not ink. Looks dirty to me. If you don't want to be rubbed there, have it tattooed.

 

My ideal was fair skin, blue eyes, brown hair, but again, I wasn't stringent about it. It's just that it would give me a little thrill if it was all just like I like it.

 

High school summer bf was fair skin, blue eyes, somewhat long hair, not very, and buck teeth! Med. height.

 

First unrequited love was sandy long hair, kind of John Lennonish. Tall.

 

Favorite old flame, fair skin, blue eyes, dark kind of David Cassidy hair, and more swag and style than anyone in town and best looking guy on the planet for my taste. Tall.

 

Dated another guy who looked kind of like the one above. Tall.

 

Dated a guy who was blended and when I asked what, he said, If you don't know, and implied I was an idiot. He was dark skinned. Smoothest skin ever, brown eyes, black hair, got my attention when he was working in a bar wearing chartreuse thigh-high boots. Med. height.

 

Dated a blond with curly hair for awhile. Tall.

 

Dated shorter guy with salt and pepper hair, fair skin, blue eyes.

 

Dated another tall blonde.

 

Fell for a guy about 5'7, my height, who looked like Marc Bolan, fair skin, brown eyes, big curly hair, a bit pudgy. I saw more in him than I reckon anyone else ever did.

 

Fell for dark hair, slightly long, medium light skin, blue eyes, tall, pretty skinny.

 

Fell for but didn't properly date a real good looking blond, tall. Made out for 10 years off and on, but mostly not real sex. Odd.

 

Went out a few times with a Hispanic guy, tall, DJ.

 

Another guy I dated was tanned and blond, slightly long hair, medium height.

 

As far as short guys, all the women in my old crowd had a crush on the alpha male, who as about 5'6" if not less. He wore substantial shoes, so he might have been 5'5". Very handsome. Just beautiful perfect facial features, blond longish hair. All his gfs towered over him. Sadly, he liked the willowly awkward, angular, somewhat bookish overly thin tall girls, and two of his long-term women looked just alike.

 

Really, looks are one thing, but confidence and swagger and style and knowing who you are and where you're going are the biggest draw -- plus having something you can relate about.

[snowboy91]

I just feel that most of us are on some physical scale. The better looking you are, the more you have to play with. I can't say I have had nothing. Its just whats around me is suspect.

 

I feel like you have to be careful referring to it as a scale. There are so many different body types and features out there that you can't possibly rate them on a linear scale. Most people try... but what you'll find is that if we had to arrange 20 people according to a scale, my arrangement will be very different to yours, which will be different again to someone else's. Everyone likes different things, which is what others have been saying so far in this thread.

 

That means that everyone sits differently on different people's scales. Including yourself. The trick is to find that person who thinks you're high up on that scale whether or not others believe it.

[MissBee]

I know it when I see it.

 

I’m attracted to various looks and also how that person carries themself, their style of dress and just overall energy.