FarmerPickles31 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 So I’ve known this girl for over a year now, I always thought she’d never go for me. But recently we started dating it’s been almost 2 months now and I really really like her she’s actually amazing. I’m quite a reserved guy and I don’t just go around kissing anyone so it was about a month into the relationship until I let anything happen, which she was fine with and agreed with all my reasons for that. But today she went out for her best friends 21st to a club, she’s known the guy a crazy long time they’ve been best friends like forever he’s a really great guy and all. At the end of the night she texted me to tell me about everything that happened, and just dropped the fact that they snogged like it was nothing. She then followed that with the fact that she wished I was there and wanted to cuddle and kiss me? Bare in mind she was completely sober whilst at the club, and would have known exactly what she was doing. And I don’t know what to feel or say to her about this. Like I’m pissed, do I have every right to be?
guest569 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 My goodness. A snog? No way. she casually mentions it to you over the phone like its nothing. Have you both discussed the type of relationship this is? Are you exclusive? Boyfriend and girlfriend?
smackie9 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 (edited) Let me guess...you beta male nerdish, her hot slammin party girl. Dump her, she's not your type. Edited September 30, 2018 by smackie9
Author FarmerPickles31 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Posted September 30, 2018 I don’t know what kind of kiss it was but she’s said she snogged him so it won’t have just been a peck on the lips. Yeah we have. We discussed all of this from the very beginning. I made it clear to her that it’s just me and her you know? And that I’m not a fling kinda guy, I told her that if she wanted a relationship I’ll give her nothing short of that. I don’t go into these kinda thing half hearted and just see where it goes. If I’m gonna sat we’re in a relationship I’m gonna commit to it. So yeah we are exclusive and she is my girlfriend. I mean kinda but I’m not exactly. I’m no beta male. I just don’t rush into things or take them lightly. I’m not feeling to be messed about again. I don’t start something unless I know it’s going somewhere. Don’t worry I know she’s not in love with the guy. But she still shouldn’t have kissed him if we’re going out. Regardless of him being gay or whatever?
ExpatInItaly Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 She sounds like the typical young party girl that makes an absolutely awful relationship partner. Bingo. Be prepared for more of this behavior, OP. She sees nothing strange or inappropriate about this, so it's probably going to happen again. And no, I don't think it's okay either. His sexual orientation isn't really the point. Her very flimsy boundaries are. If you're the type that waits to even kiss a girl before you're sure about her, this isn't the the girl for you.
guest569 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 Yeah we have. We discussed all of this from the very beginning. I made it clear to her that it’s just me and her you know? And that I’m not a fling kinda guy, I told her that if she wanted a relationship I’ll give her nothing short of that. I don’t go into these kinda thing half hearted and just see where it goes. If I’m gonna sat we’re in a relationship I’m gonna commit to it. So yeah we are exclusive and she is my girlfriend. Yes I get that, and did she agree and say all the same things?
doyathinkso Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 Gay. Yeah, yeah. Not so gay as she says. Most likely bi or pan. Oh, and she's a hosebag. Move on.
elaine567 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 I wasn't aware of this but I read recently that supposedly a lot of Bi people get hassle and nastiness directed at them from both the straight and LBGT communities. They can find it difficult to gain acceptance in either community, so a lot of them just say they are gay as it is easier. Your girl should not be "snogging" anyone at parties, straight, bi or gay. I suggest you dump her and go find someone who will be faithful to you and only you..
fromheart Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 She then followed that with the fact that she wished I was there and wanted to cuddle and kiss me? Party girl, wants sexual freedom and a threesome. If that's your thing go for it. This isn't worth an emotional investment though.
smackie9 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 If you don't take things lightly like you say, then this would be an automatic deal breaker. You accepting it and going forward is beta. She's gonna do it again. She made out with another guy dude. 1
OnlyHonesty Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 ...and just dropped the fact that they snogged like it was nothing. She then followed that with the fact that she wished I was there and wanted to cuddle and kiss me? Bare in mind she was completely sober whilst at the club, and would have known exactly what she was doing. And I don’t know what to feel or say to her about this. Like I’m pissed, do I have every right to be? You are lucky she was honest about this. If a girl I was seeing sent me that, it would be her last text to me because she'd be blocked on everything and ditched immediately. You say... And I don’t know what to feel or say to her about this. Like I’m pissed, do I have every right to be? Often statements like that mean the opposite. You know exactly what you need to do, but like many, you are unwilling to enforce boundaries. As Ive said many times before, most problems in dating come from either not setting boundaries, or not enforcing them. She has crossed an obvious boundary, either you enforce it, or become her doormat. The choice and responsibility is yours. Her friend is likely straight, or bisexual.
guest569 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 In my opinion, try to find a girl that will respect the agreement she had with you. Better said, that respects you. You both agreed to be exclusive to each other and she texting you that as it was nothing it's not okay. We don't actually know if they both agreed yet.
Author FarmerPickles31 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Posted October 1, 2018 I ended it so yeah. I feel like ****
guest569 Posted October 2, 2018 Posted October 2, 2018 I ended it so yeah. I feel like **** I'm sorry Did she have anything to say? Ah not that it matters. She messed up and you don't need that drama. I hope you're feeling better soon.
doyathinkso Posted October 2, 2018 Posted October 2, 2018 I'll send you an "Attaboy!" because you're acting like a man now.
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