Charlie7 Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 There's this guy I've known casually for about 3 years now. I don't think we've ever been more than acquaintances, and we barely see each other. Recently, however, we have bumped into each other randomly quite a few times and had a few chats, and then he started speaking to me online. He usually comes across as quite a serious type but talking to me he was actually really nice Anyway, after we'd been talking for a few hours throughout the day he asked me if I'd like to get together with him sometime and go out for a coffee with him. I did say yes and I took it as him asking me out on a date. Now though friends I've mentioned it to have made me start to wonder: is this a date? We've never socialised together or anything like that before, not even as part of a larger group, and its quite clear to me that this is a 'just the two of us' sort of thing. What does it mean if a guy asks you to go for a coffee together under these circumstances? And would it just be really awkward if I contacted him to clarify his intentions beforehand, or just get a read off the event itself? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I'd call it an offer for a date. When he comes up with a day, place, and specific time, it becomes a date. And yes, that sounds like what he intends it to be. No need to ask for clarification, provided you like him and are happy to go. Go, be yourself, have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I have no idea what your friends are thinking, but there is little difference between a date and a potential date. He's clearly interested in finding out more about you. The fact that you don't otherwise socialize in the same circles--well that means he is going out of his way to get together with you ... and he's sharing a lot ... All signs point to a date. Dates are as much fact-finding missions as they are confirmations or beginnings of romance. I like her, I'm going to ask her out. That's all a date is. I've asked out people totally open and eager ... and then gotten bored five minutes in. You seem to really like him. Show up and see what happens. Asking for clarification is useless ... So he says it's a date? ... So what! ... Could be zero romantic energy when you meet up--even if you both come very interested in the other ... What emerges between you two still depends on what happens when you meet. Are you someone who would wear pajamas if you heard it wasn't a date? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Yes, it's a date. Most guys aren't interested in "just being friends." Go, have fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 If you like him in that gooshy female likes male way, accept. Else, don't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 If you like him in that gooshy female likes male way, accept. Else, don't. I thought I was 'gushey'. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 No clue. Watching 'House' and they said gooshy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 No clue. Watching 'House' and they said gooshy I love 'House'! Tell me there's a marathon, please! My weekend sucks so far. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 There's a House marathon every day on Amazon Prime. I've had the flu all week and am on Season 6 right now. The series also has great insight into human interaction that can help the OP with perceiving what is a date request and what isn't (this is). It's the totality of the interaction, not just an offer to share a coffee. Looks like OP hasn't caught any answers after your first one so hang in 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 There's a House marathon every day on Amazon Prime. I've had the flu all week and am on Season 6 right now. The series also has great insight into human interaction that can help the OP with perceiving what is a date request and what isn't (this is). It's the totality of the interaction, not just an offer to share a coffee. Looks like OP hasn't caught any answers after your first one so hang in I have Prime, and am headed in for a ten hour night shift. My weekend is saved! Must go find headphones. Woot woot! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I didn't check the season list but Amazon has seasons 1-8. Sometimes they don't have all the seasons of some shows. I've occasionally plagiarized some of the jokes when flirting with the ladies. There's a lot of dry/sarcastic humor on the show. The actors do it better. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I confess. Most girls have a crush on Chase, I'm sure. I like Wilson. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art Anderson Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 He and you both left this date up in the air. You could have said "Yes. When did you have in mind?" and pin him to firming up a date and time with you or you both agree to connect within a few days to set the day. I've got a woman who will spend hours with me in my apartment for afternoon wine, cheese and crackers and we meet up for coffee, and she'l text me first every few days. I said several times that I'd like to take her out again to a restaurant for dinner and dancing, like we've done before and she loved it, but damned if she will agree to an actual date. It just "sounds good" Tonight I offered to take her on a return day trip to a touristy village she enjoyed and her response was "Oh, we may get to that. It doesn't close until the winter." Too wishy washy and dodgy for me. I'm not bringing it up again, and my wine & cheese bar is closed this winter too, LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 What does it mean if a guy asks you to go for a coffee together under these circumstances? Lets put it this way. What do you think the chances of him inviting you for a coffee sometime would be if you were a male coworker he'd barely spoken to for three years? If you're not sure, the answer is zero. You're more likely to see a meteor land than witness a straight guy asking another straight guy out for a coffee 'just to get together sometime'. It's a date. He is interested in getting to know you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charlie7 Posted October 26, 2018 Author Share Posted October 26, 2018 (edited) Hi everyone I thought I'd check in and provide an update and share the good news. Well, it took us a couple of weeks to finally arrange to meet because our respective work schedules didn't seem to be able to sync up but we were eventually able to make time for one another. And yes, it was definitely a date: he's such a confident guy usually so I was really surprised that when he saw me walking up to him outside the coffee place he went deathly pale and started babbling something about liking my hair So that kind of confirmed the nature of the interaction I think. He calmed down a bit once we got inside though and he was really nice and respectful and the conversation just flowed really naturally and we had so much in common We were together for about 2 hours all in all. The following week he took me out for dinner and tonight we're going to the theatre for one of our mutual interests, so all in all I think this has turned out rather well Thanks for all the support! Edited October 26, 2018 by Charlie7 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts