TidyDancer Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 I met this guy on Tinder. He doesn’t live in my town but is currently working here. He has been sending me a load of messages and ringing me a lot. But I hadn’t met him face to face until he came into my work yesterday. He was chatting with me and there was a lot of chemistry between us and it was one of those situations where you feel very drawn to the other person and like you want to kiss them there and then. He was stumbling over his words a bit and looked a little nervous. Then he went away and came back with something he had bought me. Now he seems to have backed off a bit and is not sounding as confident in his texts to me as he was. Ie he sounded sure of himself. Anyone know what might be going on here?
Mardelis Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 He didn't meet the woman he expected to meet would be my first, one and only guess. What did he bring you? If it was a mirror then I'm thinking my theory is correct.
Author TidyDancer Posted September 29, 2018 Author Posted September 29, 2018 Well, see what I find weird is that I’ve done quite a lot of online dating and people always say that I look like my pictures. So I don’t think I could have looked different. Also most people do describe me as beautiful - not being big headed but they do. So it may be I’m not for him but I know generally people like my looks (although not always my personality as I’m a bit quirky) I’m slim as well so not a case of misleading about my weight. I’m beginning to wonder if he could be married. And what he gave me was a posh cake - my friend says this is weird dating behaviour.
InlandEmpire Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 It sounds like he really liked you and doesn't feel like he measured up or expected more from you than what transpired when you met. You almost couldn't keep your hands off each other and he wanted to gift you a posh cake after having a look at you, that doesn't sound like a guy who got cold feet because he saw your actual profile in person. More likely, he thinks he's not good enough and probably feels embarrassed because he was nervous and stuttering. Maybe he also feels nervous about the next step and if this is going to go anywhere because you met cute, but it didn't lead to a goodnight kiss or sex. Some guys are used to sleeping with every girl on the first date and he might be perplexed. Text him and see what plans he has!
bosslove Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Such a similar problem I had with Tinder. Maybe he just had a bad day at work. Maybe he was also under time pressure and therefore could not write so much. Is he using emojis while writing? For example, one like this Many of my friends use such love emojis when writing with their partner. Must not mean anything. Just write with emojis and shy how he reacts, because emojis say more than words. You can show your feelings better - believe me.
stillafool Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Well the good news is since you know you are beautiful you can get another guy right away. So what if this one is barely lukewarm.
Author TidyDancer Posted September 29, 2018 Author Posted September 29, 2018 I know it sounds incredibly wanky to go on a forum and say why doesn’t he like me when I’m so beautiful but I have come across men who don’t fancy me of course but from the way he was looking at me I felt he did. Anyway he’s saying I gave no indication that I liked him so he thought I didn’t like him.
stillafool Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 I know it sounds incredibly wanky to go on a forum and say why doesn’t he like me when I’m so beautiful but I have come across men who don’t fancy me of course but from the way he was looking at me I felt he did. Anyway he’s saying I gave no indication that I liked him so he thought I didn’t like him. TBH, this just sounds like an excuse he used not to hurt your feelings. If a man were truly interested he would take the challenge. Men don't mind working for what they want.
Author TidyDancer Posted September 29, 2018 Author Posted September 29, 2018 Well he’s trying to arrange to meet so who knows
Lotsgoingon Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 I would say this: Pay attention to the fact that this meeting has been awkward. Not always, but often that "weirdness" as you describe it, is telling you something. If you get together with him, I would say go slow ... hold off on sex if you're interested in a relationship ... cause it sounds like this guy could be flaky and/or have confidence problems. Flakiness and confidence problems always interfere with relationships. But you know, I hope, that one guy's disinterest or distance doesn't mean anything. So make sure you aren't taking this personally. 1
smackie9 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Maybe he was expecting you to be more excited and flirty...throw the guy a bone.
Author TidyDancer Posted September 29, 2018 Author Posted September 29, 2018 He seems to be back to his old self now that I’ve reassured him I do actually like him. I think one of my problems is that I’m on the autistic spectrum so I find it hard to show what I’m feeling. I think I’m showing it but I’m not. As I said my personality seems to present a challenge for some people because I am quirky and different. I will see if I can get to know him and take it from there. But I do note what all of you say so thanks.
kendahke Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 I’m on the autistic spectrum so I find it hard to show what I’m feeling. I think I’m showing it but I’m not. When you've ascertained that he's someone you want to move forward with, ask him how, in the future, you can communicate your interest to him in an unmistakable fashion so that you two aren't at the mercy of crossed signals. 2
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