max3732 Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Not quite sure how to phrase it, but I mean women who are at work and being paid to work with you, like someone at the checkout line, a waitress, or in the main case I'm talking about now physical therapy. What's confusing is these people are all being paid to smile and be friendly and talk to you while you're there. So how do you flirt with them and figure out if they're genuinely interested or just being polite? For example, the other night I really liked the waitress and she actually reminded me of someone I was in a long distance relationship with. I got the courage to talk to her about a few things other than just about the food, but didn't pursue it or have any idea if she was just being friendly or actually enjoyed chatting with me. On top of that, if you ask the waitress out are you going to get in trouble with the restaurant? The other situation I'm in is doing physical therapy and there's a therapist who is very kind and working with her is the only female contact I've had in years. As part of the therapy she takes my hand, massages me and we talk the most of it. One time we were holding hands as she was talking to another therapist and I was thinking how nice it felt, but wish it was actually with someone on a date and wasn't paid to work with me. Is there a way to flirt with her or ask her out without getting into trouble? I have to keep going back there and don't want to make things awkward.
basil67 Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 I'll start with the easy one first. It would be unethical of the physical therapist to go on a date with you. I was actually discussing this with my masseur - he said that if women make a move, he must remain professional and block it. If they persist, he will stop seeing them and refer them to another practitioner. With the waitress, remember that they get hit on all the time. That said, when I worked in a bank many years ago, some of the tellers did date customers. It was always the customers who came in daily to do the banking for whoever they worked for and had built a rapport with the teller. But a random customer was unlikely to get a yes.
Lotsgoingon Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Take a friend with you to the diner. Basically it's subtle but there is a difference between being friendly-cheery on a job ... and having a genuine interest in a customer. Subtle but detectable. Might take several visits. But take a friend ... a friend can better determine this if you can't. My quick tip would be: the personal interest (as opposed to the friend-warm personality performing a service) should be WILDLY obvious. As in the waitress would say something to you ... something really specific ... that is slightly beyond what she would say even being her cheery self. Does this waitress seek you out say when taking a break? OK, here's a way to figure out genuine interest. How much does the waitress talk about herself and her real life when servicing you? Does she bring up her real life? ... That can be a sign of interest beyond just liking you as a customer. Do know: a waitress can very much like you as a customer without wanting to go out on a date with you.
JuneL Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Your physical therapy sessions would be a great opportunity to chit chat casually and build some rapport. Remember to put on your nice workout outfits Give her a small thank you gift and write down your contact info when you see her at the last session. Offer to take her out to lunch to thank her when you’re no longer her client.
preraph Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 You shouldn't hit on those people. That's their job. My physical therapist I had for 7 months told me he gets hit on all the time and he's very uncomfortable with it. Don't treat them like sex workers!! 3
Author max3732 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Posted September 29, 2018 You shouldn't hit on those people. That's their job. My physical therapist I had for 7 months told me he gets hit on all the time and he's very uncomfortable with it. Don't treat them like sex workers!! My only thought is that it's good practice talking with women since I don't do it very often. It just seems like it might help me relax when I'm on dates or trying to cold approach if I get used to it. Plus if they're single maybe they're looking at meeting someone too.
Author max3732 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Posted September 29, 2018 I'll start with the easy one first. It would be unethical of the physical therapist to go on a date with you. I was actually discussing this with my masseur - he said that if women make a move, he must remain professional and block it. If they persist, he will stop seeing them and refer them to another practitioner. With the waitress, remember that they get hit on all the time. That said, when I worked in a bank many years ago, some of the tellers did date customers. It was always the customers who came in daily to do the banking for whoever they worked for and had built a rapport with the teller. But a random customer was unlikely to get a yes. The woman I was interested was at a pretty high end place that I wouldn't go to every week, but would definitely go again. At the therapy place what about the receptionist or other patients? I'm trying to just act more confident and stop being so shy so have been chatting with everyone there (guys too) and pretty much everywhere it seems appropriate. I'm just hoping that if I do that I won't freeze up and get so nervous when I find a woman I'm attracted to.
smackie9 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 From a woman's perspective, I never liked customers hitting on me while I'm on the job. So don't do it. 2
Mardelis Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Ask for her number. You'll find out soon enough. Of course it's going to be rather awkward after that but no risk no gain.
preraph Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 My only thought is that it's good practice talking with women since I don't do it very often. It just seems like it might help me relax when I'm on dates or trying to cold approach if I get used to it. Plus if they're single maybe they're looking at meeting someone too. Not their clients. They'd rather have a client and make money than lose a client because they asked for a date and got turned down. 1
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