smackie9 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Gurrrrl you know this is just casual. He isn't making you a priority in his life....stop being so desperate for a man who is doing things so half assed......kick him to the curb. 1
smackie9 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Just accept he's not interested and move on with dignity. No texts, no phone calls, no pigeon messages. Starting now. You deserve better and need to tell yourself that. This^^^^100% 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 If a guy is interested, you won't have this much trouble trying to figure it out. He's lukewarm.
Lotsgoingon Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 I think the result will be the same either way. The main point you're missing: people do not accidentally lose touch. They don't. People interested in dating us absolutely do not accidentally lose touch. So let go and move on ... You could text him but most likely, you're going to end up in the same place. You may get together and then he'll go absent again. The chances that something good will come of you texting him are about 1 percent. A relationship requires two people working hard to make things happen. You're doing your part. If the other does not do their part, there's nothing we can do ... but assume they're not interested and let go and move on.
RedHead5 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Hey! Woao, hold your horses! Let’s not overreact, shall we? So he has always been the one to text after a date? Perhaps He then feels that it’s your turn? Those unwritten, ambiguous texting rules are garbage, and could lead to a ton of misunderstandings. He hasn’t ghosted you no more than you have ghosted him at his point. Just make plans for the weekend and think about other stuffs. This, yes. If he always initiates then you should text him or he may think you aren't that interested. Just something light hearted. Don't freak out on him. The speed at which he answers will possibly be a small clue. Needs to be a little bit of positive reinforcement from the female imo. But the male should initiate the most. 75%/25% maybe?
Author lindt1111 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Posted September 30, 2018 Ok so I took a chance and sent him a general how are you message and surprisingly I got a reply. Not an essay of a response but still a reply. You guys will think I’m very messed up but now that I’ve got a response I don’t know how to proceed. I feel just because he responded it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s still interested or wants to continue meeting? I’m also anxious about replying as I’m afraid he’ll start to become vague and I’ll be left in a spin again. What do you guys think?
FMW Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 Unless he asked you a question in his response, I wouldn't text again. You let him know you are still in the game, it's up to him to make the next move. You are obviously invested in the relationship with him, he's not showing the same level of investment. So I would back off, keeping doing your own thing and give it a wait and see attitude. Don't invest more time and emotion unless he gives you a reason.
Author lindt1111 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Posted September 30, 2018 He did. But I’m starting to feel maybe I’m too anxious over all this and it’s my anxieties that’s making things worse than they Are
ThisisIt606 Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 He did. But I’m starting to feel maybe I’m too anxious over all this and it’s my anxieties that’s making things worse than they Are If he asked you a direct question, then answer it. Put your phone down after and go do something (bake, exercise class, go for a walk, etc). If when you're done you have a text, great! If you don't.. all is not lost, however do not text again. Wait for him to come to you. Just keep going about your life. He knows you want to hang out as you asked for weekend plans. I'm actually in similar boat myself. Been seeing a guy for a few months and suggested we do something this weekend. He said sure, but also said he had a lot of work and maybe sunday. In the meanwhile, sure I've been annoyed I haven't heard from him with a definite yay/nay. But I've also hung out with friends, gone out at night/did fun things to keep myself occupied. So basically in the end if he does text (goes for you and me) you'll be able to say all the great things you did this weekend and he will see you're strong and independent. (while you still expressed interest)
FMW Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 Then of course, answer his question! Like ThisIsIt said, after answering go do something else and step away from your phone for a while. Redirect your thoughts and activities to something else instead of allowing yourself to obsess about him. You'll feel much better if you do!
Author lindt1111 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Posted September 30, 2018 Then of course, answer his question! Like ThisIsIt said, after answering go do something else and step away from your phone for a while. Redirect your thoughts and activities to something else instead of allowing yourself to obsess about him. You'll feel much better if you do! So I replied answered his qs he replied and asked a qs again I answered and asked a qs and now hes not texting me back again. He has seen the message been online and its been hours since he replied. I give up at this stage
stillafool Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 So I replied answered his qs he replied and asked a qs again I answered and asked a qs and now hes not texting me back again. He has seen the message been online and its been hours since he replied. I give up at this stage I think that is best because you are the only one putting in effort. He's not that interested.
Dis Posted September 30, 2018 Posted September 30, 2018 He's not interested Don't waste your time on lukewarm guys A guy that wants you will make his interest known. You won't be sitting around wondering like you are now As another poster mentioned, take your power back. Let him know it's not working for you and block/delete. There are soooo many fish in the sea and right now you're letting them all pass by while you continue to focus on the wrong one All signs are pointing to a slow fade. Don't let him do that to you. He's not special, he's a half a$$er wasting your time. You'll see that once you're done with him You have two options: 1. Let this die a slow, painful death (at his hands) 2. Let him go and find someone new I vote for the latter
LoverOfDance Posted October 1, 2018 Posted October 1, 2018 Op, i read this thread previously but didn't comment because other ppl already said what i was going to say. I hoped you would listen to them. Op, HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. I know this is really hard to hear, especially when you like someone. He is lukewarm and when a man is lukewarm, he might as well not be interested. Being lukewarm means he really doesn't care if you come or go. You are infatuated and probably just mostly physically attracted. What has he offered you exactly? Nothing. Nothing of substance at least. This is all just physical attraction or maybe just great sex. You have to take a step back and see things for what they really are. You don't really have anything here. He can't even return a simple text and is leaving you on read for hours. I have encountered dozens of men like this. Please don't waste anymore time or energy on this. You are better than this. Move on.
RedHead5 Posted October 1, 2018 Posted October 1, 2018 So I replied answered his qs he replied and asked a qs again I answered and asked a qs and now hes not texting me back again. He has seen the message been online and its been hours since he replied. I give up at this stage My boyfriend is like this texting. I have learned to let it go, but that's because he texts me frequently... If you guys had a conversation and he didn't ask for a date, I'd let it go until he does. If he doesn't ask to see you within a week, he is not that interested. It's not the open ended texting that's a problem, it's the lack of effort in moving things forward. Sorry to the fellas but some guys just massively SUCK at texting.
stillafool Posted October 1, 2018 Posted October 1, 2018 My boyfriend is like this texting. I have learned to let it go, but that's because he texts me frequently... If you guys had a conversation and he didn't ask for a date, I'd let it go until he does. If he doesn't ask to see you within a week, he is not that interested. It's not the open ended texting that's a problem, it's the lack of effort in moving things forward. Sorry to the fellas but some guys just massively SUCK at texting. Yeah but there's a difference in having an actual boyfriend who sucks at texting versus a man you are trying to get to know who sucks at texting. The latter is not interested.
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