Guest Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I am going to be nineteen soon, and for the first time in my life I am at the point where I think my boyfriend and I will be ready soon for a sexual relationship. We care about each other deeply, and feel emotionally ready to advance to that level. He is my age as well, and we are both virgins. Both he and I, utterly lacking experience, do not know what to expect. There must be some little things that the webpages fail to mention... for example... The girl experiences a little bit of bleeding the first time, correct? What is a good way to prevent this from staining the surface of the bed/sofa/whatever? Put a towel down? Put a pad on afterwards? These questions may seem strange, but no one ever addresses them. Is there anything else I should know? I've heard that sex can be painful the first time -- is this true? If anyone can give me hints on what to expect, I would appreciate it. I'm a little nervous, and don't really want to be taken by surprise by anything.
Guest Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I know you all have more experience than I do, so I'd appreciate any helpful things you'd have to say.
kitkat826 Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Everyone's experience I know has varied wildly. Some people bleed a lot, others don't at all. I would be prepared to do it on top of a towel just in case. I bled, in fact my boyf at the time was wearing a button down white shirt and at the end we realized one of the tails of the shirt had a big blood stain on it. It was a rental and so I laughed as he rushed off afterwards to clean it. The pain factor also varies wildly. I know some people who say they cried; others say it didn't hurt at all. Being fully lubricated and aroused makes a big difference, so get as much foreplay in as possible and don't be scared to "check" yourself with your finger to see how wet you are before go ahead with the deed. Have you had oral sex with him? If you haven't, start experimenting with that first. It should definitely help to get you ready. No matter how much foreplay you do however, be prepared to feel at least some discomfort in the beginning. In my case, it hurt for a good 10 seconds, was uncomfortable for maybe another 30 seconds, and then it all went away after that. His size in this case also adds to the discomfort/pain level. Also, try to relax as much as possible and don't have too high hopes in turns of your "pleasure" level. If you're like most girls, it'll take you a while to just get used to having sex and what it feels like before you are able to really get into it and climax. (Then again, many girls with even years of experience never climax during sex, but thats enough topic for a whole other post.) Don't wait too long after to first time to try it again, otherwise you'll "close up" a bit and have to go through the process again. And remember: ALWAYS pee before and after sex (to avoid urinary tract infections) and ALWAYS use condoms!!! (I know someone who got pregnant after her first time and ended up getting an abortion. Not the way you want to start your sexual career). That being said, make sure you get to a GYNO as soon possible to discuss birth control options and get yourself good reproductive health care in the long run. Good luck!
dgiirl Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 To add to kitkat's great advice, make sure you both go real slow in the beginning! My first time hurt a lot. But my guy was very knowledgeable and understood he has to go slow to break the hymen. If he thrust very fast, it hurt like crazy. We didnt do it for very long either because it hurt. I did have cramps and I needed to put on a pad afterwards. My guy felt tremendous guilt for hurting me too. I had to reassure him it was something I was ready for and wanted. We kept trying, and in time, it started to feel good. Dont expect your first time to be earth shattering. Just appreciate the experience for what it is. But dont let it discourage you from sex altogether. In time you'll like it just as much as he does.
Recommended Posts