Morris17 Posted September 27, 2018 Posted September 27, 2018 On tinder and I came across a guy I used to go to school with and whilst at school I had a crush on. I had a look at his profile and I still found him attractive so I swiped yes and to my luck he matched with me. I messaged him and we've started talking, I even told him about my crush and he said that I was gorgeous. As the conversation went on he told me that he was thinking of deleting tinder and asked me for my Facebook. So we added each other on there and started talking on FB messenger and I noticed that his tinder was gone like he said. I asked him If he would like to go on a date sometime and he said yes and I then asked where we should go and he said I can decide. So I sent him a message with my ideas and he literally took ages to reply which was unusual as before he seemed quite quick. He told me that either of my date ideas would be good, I then messaged him and suggested the best option and It's been over a day since I sent It and still no reply. Numerous times It's shown him online since I sent the message and he even shared something on his profile. It doesn't say he's read the message but I know that you can read messages without actually clicking on them so now i'm think that he's ignoring me. I really want to message him again and ask if i've done something wrong because it's really bugging me but also I want him to message me! I know that potentially this isn't going to amount to anything but I really thought there would be a date!
Zahara Posted September 27, 2018 Posted September 27, 2018 I really want to message him again and ask if i've done something wrong because it's really bugging me but also I want him to message me! I know that potentially this isn't going to amount to anything but I really thought there would be a date! Please don't message him. Seems like you were mainly driving this forward based on your conversation with him so let him now come to you with his thoughts. And don't ask him if you have done something wrong. That sounds so insecure and needy. You hardly know this guy so stop acting so fragile. Carry on swiping and talking to other guys. 1
kendahke Posted September 27, 2018 Posted September 27, 2018 Don't message him with that---it makes you look desperate for a man. Just wait for him to get back to you. In the meantime, keep interacting with other guys. If he doesn't, then you know he doesn't have sufficient interest. One conversation doesn't mean that he's automatically devoted to you.
d0nnivain Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Under no circumstances should you message him asking what you have done wrong. Just leave it be. The ball is in his court. He has your suggestions for dates & a way to contact you. Until you hear from him assume he's not interested & understand there is nothing you can do about that so carry on doing anything else.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 The way he is behaving right now indicates that he has mediocre interest at best. At worst he is a lazy dater who will expect you to put in all the effort and give very little in return. Can you imagine being in a relationship with a guy like that? It would be constant disappointment. Also, just so you know, the "I might be going off Tinder" line should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm sure it felt like he was implying something at the time, but it's very clear he isn't putting that much thought into pursuing you. I agree that you shouldn't have to put in this much effort just to get a date. He may get back to you at some point, but he has already set the tone. Casual with limited effort on his part. Sometimes the reality of a crush just doesn't live up to the fantasy. Better to pursue options with more potential. 1
SteadyPace Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 If you have to ask yourself if someone is interested in you the answer is No.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 He's not all that interested, no. But do not message and ask what you have done wrong. It's too needy, as the others have pointed out. And anyway, why are you assuming you committed an error somewhere? Where is your confidence, girl? If he's not interested, it doesn't automatically mean it's because you've done something wrong. Ball is in his court. In the meantime, keep looking.
Straya Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 On tinder and I came across a guy I used to go to school with and whilst at school I had a crush on. I had a look at his profile and I still found him attractive so I swiped yes and to my luck he matched with me. I messaged him and we've started talking, I even told him about my crush and he said that I was gorgeous. As the conversation went on he told me that he was thinking of deleting tinder and asked me for my Facebook. So we added each other on there and started talking on FB messenger and I noticed that his tinder was gone like he said. I asked him If he would like to go on a date sometime and he said yes and I then asked where we should go and he said I can decide. So I sent him a message with my ideas and he literally took ages to reply which was unusual as before he seemed quite quick. He told me that either of my date ideas would be good, I then messaged him and suggested the best option and It's been over a day since I sent It and still no reply. Numerous times It's shown him online since I sent the message and he even shared something on his profile. It doesn't say he's read the message but I know that you can read messages without actually clicking on them so now i'm think that he's ignoring me. I really want to message him again and ask if i've done something wrong because it's really bugging me but also I want him to message me! I know that potentially this isn't going to amount to anything but I really thought there would be a date! Don't message him under any circumstance. You made your offer, and now the ball is in his court. The second you send another message, you'll come across as "needy" or "desperate". It sucks when people behave like an immature POS, but that's just how the world is now. It seems people are placed into categories of importance...if you're not in the top echelon of importance, good luck getting a response if any. The late replies entail he is confused/not sure. Find something to do or talk to other people in the mean time while he sorts his shyt out.
muse08 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 OP, I hope you’re sitting well with any decision you’ve made. Many of us have gone through situations like these. As other posters have said to not message him, makes sense. However, hopefully you really understand why... you have to remember to teach others how to treat you. You’ll soon know and feel whether their interest is there, to your liking. 1
smackie9 Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 You didn't do anything wrong, except notice his lack of initiating. When a guy sits back and says you pick the time, you pick the venue, you let him know, doesn't message back, etc. he's not all that into it. When you get ignored, that's their way of saying "not interested". Lesson learned.
alphamale Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 You didn't do anything wrong, except notice his lack of initiating. When a guy sits back and says you pick the time, you pick the venue, you let him know, doesn't message back, etc. he's not all that into it. When you get ignored, that's their way of saying "not interested". Lesson learned. I would agree with smackie9
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