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30 Minute Train Ride Too Far For a First Date?


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Posted
Either is fine.

 

Really don't stress about talking to her. Everybody gets nervous & most people are so busy being nervous themselves they just assume you are suave & self-assured.

 

Alcohol isn't off limits but it's not necessary on the train ride there.

 

Is it a bad time to mention she's a client of mine?! :shrug:

Posted

Define client. If you are a licensed professional -- doctor, lawyer, mental heath professional, accountant etc. re-read your rules of professional conduct before you do anything.

 

Be prepared to lose her as both a date & a client before you ask. If she says no to the date she may no longer want your services.

 

Even if she does say yes, don't go too crazy . . . stay within dignified bounds for the 1st several dates until it's clear that you are jettisoning the professional relationship solely in favor of the personal one.

  • Author
Posted
Define client. If you are a licensed professional -- doctor, lawyer, mental heath professional, accountant etc. re-read your rules of professional conduct before you do anything.

 

Be prepared to lose her as both a date & a client before you ask. If she says no to the date she may no longer want your services.

 

Even if she does say yes, don't go too crazy . . . stay within dignified bounds for the 1st several dates until it's clear that you are jettisoning the professional relationship solely in favor of the personal one.

 

My profession doesn't fall under the same laws, rules, and regulations of the licensed professions you mentioned.

 

She has had multiple appointments with me over the last year and has shown many indicators of interest, even to the point that my receptionist pointed it out to me after she left one day.

 

I'm okay with losing her as a client if it comes down to that; however, I'm more concerned with how she, as a client, will perceive me asking her out. If she's as interested as I think she is, perhaps it doesn't matter?

Posted

If you ask her out while she's in your office she will find that creepy & bad. If you run into her socially which is what I think you said was going to happen, ask away.

  • Author
Posted
If you ask her out while she's in your office she will find that creepy & bad. If you run into her socially which is what I think you said was going to happen, ask away.

 

I would be asking her out after her next appointment

Posted
don't do a bunch of texting and chit-chat between the dates, you are burning up your conversation material and eventually making the other one bored of you before you make it to the date.

I don't know PRW, there's another way that could play out. If she's not getting any interaction from the man, she may get bored waiting, and look to find interaction from someone else. I'm not saying your plan doesn't work in some situations, but I can see it having the opposite effect as well.

 

I guess it's possible to run out of things to say during a few texts, but that could be an indicator of a much bigger problem, if we assume the desire is for a lasting relationship. Plus text chats can often be much less in depth than verbal conversations. Having to tap out messages on the screen is a barrier to lengthy messages.

 

For context, and as a noob, I never ask for cell numbers, yet I keep receiving them. They have all wanted me to chat with them over text, and sometimes call. I'm very interested in them, so of course I'll talk with them, plus, it's fun! When I talk with them, I learn more about them, and learning about someone you're interested in is a valuable use of time.

Posted
I would be asking her out after her next appointment

 

What do you know about her?

Is she single?

Is she seeing someone or living with someone?

Got to find all this out first?

 

There are ways to ask without asking..

 

Also if you want to drink wine drink it. Social grace today for some. I don't drink anything. To many of my friends have no kidneys and my late father drink to much and had bloody ulcer. I had to clean-up the mess. I won't make the same mistake. But you have fun and don't worry if she's your client, we all are better off knowing who we're with before asking them out socially.

  • Author
Posted
What do you know about her?

Is she single?

Is she seeing someone or living with someone?

Got to find all this out first?

 

There are ways to ask without asking..

 

 

I don't know for certain that she's single, but I suspect she is. She is 32 and recently moved in with her father (not sure why, she has a high-paying job) and she has mentioned multiple extensive vacations in the last year that she has gone on abroad with her girlfriends.

 

At the end of the day, some women I approach are going to have SOs and there's really not too much I can do about it. Years ago, if I ran into that while asking them out or for their number, I would just politely tell them to take it as a compliment.

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