tokidoki Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 Update: So I hooked up with this girl I work with a couple times. I told her that I was going on holiday and that I wanted to take her on a date when i got back, and she said 'we'll seeee'. When I got back, I asked her again, but she didn't respond, so I just left it. It been a number of weeks since then and we haven't spoken beyond 'hello' when absolutely necessary. I feel like she is deliberately cultivating an awkward atmosphere between us, as any time I do try to talk to her she is very, very aloof. If she doesn't want to date, that's fine by me, I can understand and respect that (although openness about that would've been nice as opposed to just blanking/avoiding me). But I would rather move forward as friends, as I'm beginning to find the atmosphere between us a little distracting, and her refusal to engage with me very petty. Should I say anything to that end, that its fine just to be mates and move forward on that basis, or just leave her alone to play these games by herself?
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 If she's not saying anything more then hello, there is not much to build on, not even for a friendship. When you asked her on a date, were you specific? Did you pick a date, time, & a place? Or did you say something vague like "wanna hang out?" or "do you wanna go out sometime?"
Author tokidoki Posted September 26, 2018 Author Posted September 26, 2018 I gave her a specific date. I hung out with her and she said something like 'you haven't taken me on a date yet' and I said, well I'll take you on one when I'm back from vacation. That same night I texted 'September 1st, keep it free. Date Night!' - She replied 'haha! we'll seeee' I left it til I got back and when I tried to talk to her, she started off keeping the convo v brief and then moved on to ignoring me/total silence/ bragging about some other dude. Bit weird. She seemed upset with me in some way. Maybe cos I didn't text her when I was on vacation, but I knew I'd see her again anyway...
Zahara Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 You have another thread going about the same thing and the advice there stands. You can't make or expect someone to act maturely. If she's choosing to ignore you, then you need to respect that and move on. She's not obligated to be friends with you or make you feel comfortable in the workplace. That dynamic changed when you hooked up with a co-worker. Stop forcing her to speak to you.
BC1980 Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 I don't think you can have a functioning friendship with her. It seems disrespectful to just suddenly ignore you. It's obvious she doesn't want to go on a date with you, but I don't see how you'd get a friendship to work either. Sleeping with a coworker is playing with fire. There's going to be some awkwardness.
kendahke Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 Update: So I hooked up with this girl I work with a couple times. I told her that I was going on holiday and that I wanted to take her on a date when i got back, and she said 'we'll seeee'. When I got back, I asked her again, but she didn't respond, so I just left it. It been a number of weeks since then and we haven't spoken beyond 'hello' when absolutely necessary. I feel like she is deliberately cultivating an awkward atmosphere between us, as any time I do try to talk to her she is very, very aloof. If she doesn't want to date, that's fine by me, I can understand and respect that (although openness about that would've been nice as opposed to just blanking/avoiding me). But I would rather move forward as friends, as I'm beginning to find the atmosphere between us a little distracting, and her refusal to engage with me very petty. Should I say anything to that end, that its fine just to be mates and move forward on that basis, or just leave her alone to play these games by herself? You should just leave her alone and only deal with her on a professional level. she started off keeping the convo v brief and then moved on to ignoring me/total silence/ bragging about some other dude. Yeah, no--you aren't on her radar anymore... For some reason, she doesn't want to deal with you at all. Take the hint and give her space. There is nothing here that leads me to believe that she's got interest in you.
Author tokidoki Posted September 26, 2018 Author Posted September 26, 2018 yeah fair. I guess I just find it weird that someone would deliberately make it awkward rather than just chilling the eff out and getting on with it. Some people just don't grow up, I suppose. I'm a decent person and i don't care if she wants to pursue things or not. I wasn't all that bothered about dating but I thought it might be nice to get together and maybe we'd end up talking about the situation. But hey, if she wants to act the way she is there's no skin off my nose.
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