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She cheated on me and we agreed having a peaceful break of our relationship

WallaceNG

By WallaceNG
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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WallaceNG Member

WallaceNG

Posted
Posted

My gf is was more immature than I am based on the age difference. She’s flirty with boys and like to show off her slim body shape.

 

She’s 18 and I’m 27.

 

Few days ago, I found out she dated a guy she met on the internet for twice in another city by snooping her phone because I can’t keep myself away from doing it, something inside my gut tells me something was wrong, seems like she lost attraction to me and give less attention to me than few weeks before.

 

Their messages reveals that she has fallen in love with this guy. She been to his house twice though she claimed they didn’t have sex but I saw one naked photo tooken in his home.

 

At first, we were able to have a peaceful conversation to address the issue. And she agreed not doing that again, but she said she needed some time to break it off with that guy, I trusted her and we looks like more bonded physically and mentally than before.

 

However, yesterday I decided to snoop again, and I found out she still text this guy initially with all the flirty and affective messages, and even asked to call him, she is still obvious in love with this guy.

 

Other messages with her friends showed that she thought I was being cold to her than before few weeks ago so she decided to find a new boyfriend online. But I need to work, she’s not. I have my own issue and pressure need to go through each day. But all she cares is only play the mobile game and never cared about my feelings and problems. Although I was just slightly cold to her, but I still really love her and never thinks about cheating on her.

 

Few things I have to point out:

 

1)She told most of her guy friends that she's single and want to hang out with them, even though some of them are strangers, she still acted like she doesnt have a boyfriend and want to get to know them before agree to hangout with them.

 

2)She falls in love with me and the guy she met on the internet, but still acting like shes single and horny with another stranger shes been talking to online, even sending photo she was only wearing underwear.

 

3)She never being honest with me until I snooped her phone and got the evidence. She admited she acted like 2) before in her past relationship.

 

4)She always doesnt respect me and being thankful for my effort, shes selfish and rarely cares about my feelings.

 

After I made this discovery, I controled my resentment and hatred. I told her we need a break to settle our emotions and she need to decide what she truly need. She once said that guy was better than me but I can tell she’s still in love with me as well. Maybe she’s waiting a chance to be with him because he is living in another city, they cannot meet frequently than we can, maybe just once in one or two months.

 

We hugged so long and cried together for almost all day today before I took her to her home with all her stuff. We hugged, kissed and saying I love you again and she brust into tears when I left.

 

Right now, what should I do to make myself feel better? I think I will miss her crazy and waiting for that answer because I have to convince myself it’s time to give up or give our relationship another shot.

HiCrunchy Established Member

HiCrunchy

Posted
Posted (edited)

The age gap is too big my friend, she is barely out of hs and you are moving into your 30s.

 

I think is the relationship is going to be mismatched from the start based on age alone. Take comfort that is wouldn't have worked out in the long run and it was nice while it lasted. I do not think you should attempt to get back together. Based on your ages alone, you should be in different phases in your life.

 

Let her go.

Edited by HiCrunchy
Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

Posted
Posted
My gf is was more immature than I am based on the age difference. She’s flirty with boys and like to show off her slim body shape.

 

She’s 18 and I’m 27.

 

Way to young for you. She's not mature enough for a relationship

 

Few days ago, I found out she dated a guy she met on the internet for twice in another city by snooping her phone because I can’t keep myself away from doing it, something inside my gut tells me something was wrong, seems like she lost attraction to me and give less attention to me than few weeks before.

 

Not ready for a relationship

 

Their messages reveals that she has fallen in love with this guy. She been to his house twice though she claimed they didn’t have sex but I saw one naked photo tooken in his home.

 

Yeah right

 

At first, we were able to have a peaceful conversation to address the issue. And she agreed not doing that again, but she said she needed some time to break it off with that guy, I trusted her and we looks like more bonded physically and mentally than before.

 

Doormatish behavior on your part

 

However, yesterday I decided to snoop again, and I found out she still text this guy initially with all the flirty and affective messages, and even asked to call him, she is still obvious in love with this guy.

 

No surprise here

 

Other messages with her friends showed that she thought I was being cold to her than before few weeks ago so she decided to find a new boyfriend online. But I need to work, she’s not. I have my own issue and pressure need to go through each day. But all she cares is only play the mobile game and never cared about my feelings and problems. Although I was just slightly cold to her, but I still really love her and never thinks about cheating on her.

 

Typical MR Nice Guy. You don't fix that you'll keep getting walked on

 

Few things I have to point out:

 

1)She told most of her guy friends that she's single and want to hang out with them, even though some of them are strangers, she still acted like she doesnt have a boyfriend and want to get to know them before agree to hangout with them.

 

She's young what do you expect

 

2)She falls in love with me and the guy she met on the internet, but still acting like shes single and horny with another stranger shes been talking to online, even sending photo she was only wearing underwear.

 

3)She never being honest with me until I snooped her phone and got the evidence. She admited she acted like 2) before in her past relationship.

 

4)She always doesnt respect me and being thankful for my effort, shes selfish and rarely cares about my feelings.

 

You teach people how they can treat you

 

After I made this discovery, I controled my resentment and hatred. I told her we need a break to settle our emotions and she need to decide what she truly need. She once said that guy was better than me but I can tell she’s still in love with me as well. Maybe she’s waiting a chance to be with him because he is living in another city, they cannot meet frequently than we can, maybe just once in one or two months.

 

Man are you in deep denial. You're really going to let her decide your fate? Why?

 

We hugged so long and cried together for almost all day today before I took her to her home with all her stuff. We hugged, kissed and saying I love you again and she brust into tears when I left.

 

Right now, what should I do to make myself feel better? I think I will miss her crazy and waiting for that answer because I have to convince myself it’s time to give up or give our relationship another shot.

 

You need some maturity. Self respect is important. Or you won't get it from anyone

  • Like 1
Garcon1986 Established Member

Garcon1986

Posted
Posted

You gave her permission to treat you this way. I would do a string of fun activities back to back, specifically what you really enjoy doing with the lads. Get this off your chest but, you are certainly welcome to remember the good times. She isn't considerate enough to consider your feelings as truly important to her.

 

 

Next time start from date number one, gentlemanly but firmly, dictating how you will be treated. A read through of Coach Corey Wayne's book a 3% man, would be helpful. The most extreme version is a crafty woman leading your emotions, and then dumping you with alimony, kids, financial disaster, and a bigtime emotional hit to your center. This is why you learn to set your personal boundaries early. Certain women have learned to manipulate guys through using sex as a bartering tool. She's one of those.

 

 

In the end failure is only failure if you learn nothing at all. The winners just choose to keep on standing up after society beats them down.

  • Author
WallaceNG Member

WallaceNG

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thx a lot, maybe I should dated a girl younger and immature than me at the begging, we shouldnt started at the first place. I admit that I was attracted to her body and nothing more, she's quite pretty and attractive. Right now, I finally can see who she is and her true side. Even though I asked to delete all her social connection as well as her contact, she asked me to buy her one last present. the iPhone XS, as she told me even her parents never brought her phone and I will meant a lot to her if I buy her that, which i think is totally BS. Now I think we are officially break up, I remove all her contact since yesterday and she hasnt initiate any contact whatsoever. She needed time to decide be with him or not and maybe take a really long time to decide and I promised her if she come back to me I will buy her the phone.

 

Anyway, what Im trying to do now is get my mind out of thinking of her, it hurts me to the bones that knowing somebody you loved so much and put so much effort on, cheated on you twice even after I confronted that to her and she pretended nothing happened again. Im done, I need to move on and improve myself, Im planning to hit the gym tonight, do whatever I want, playing games, watching youtube and maybe start dating other girls.

 

Even when she DO come back which I think it will rarely happens. I would re-evaluate whether shes worth my love again because she's playful with mans and love the attentions. And if she will agree to put that away and fully commit in our relationship.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted
Even when she DO come back which I think it will rarely happens. I would re-evaluate whether shes worth my love again because she's playful with mans and love the attentions. And if she will agree to put that away and fully commit in our relationship.

 

She is 18, OP. What did you expect?

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