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My GF avoided my message?

Occitanie

By Occitanie
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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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I told her that if something was up she could tell me if she wanted to.

 

She didn’t reply, but instead last night sent me a link to a series on Netflix called “Inside the Criminal Mind”. She knows I studied Criminology at Uni and that I’m interested in this sort of stuff.

 

Does she not want to talk about what happened?

 

What should I do?

Orokotikki Established Member

Orokotikki

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You must think we are all professional investigators if that is all we have to go on!

Seriously though, could you explain the situation a little more?

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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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You must think we are all professional investigators if that is all we have to go on!

Seriously though, could you explain the situation a little more?

 

What else would you like to know?

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Does she not want to talk about what happened?

 

 

What happened that makes you believe something is up?

 

Your post is too vague.

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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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What happened that makes you believe something is up?

 

Your post is too vague.

 

It’s just when I asked if something was up she just said “I don’t know”

 

I said that she could talk about it if she wanted to, she ignored that and then sent me the link the Netflix series.

Orokotikki Established Member

Orokotikki

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What made you ask if something was up?

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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It’s just when I asked if something was up she just said “I don’t know”

 

I said that she could talk about it if she wanted to, she ignored that and then sent me the link the Netflix series.

 

So, why do you feel something is up? I don't randomly ask my boyfriend if something is up unless I am getting a bad vibe. You must be getting a vibe and that is why you asked the question.

 

You also asked "does she not want to talk about what happened" -- what happened? We don't know what happened to possibly cause her to shut down. You need to provide details -- can't help you without any content.

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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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So, why do you feel something is up? I don't randomly ask my boyfriend if something is up unless I am getting a bad vibe. You must be getting a vibe and that is why you asked the question.

 

You also asked "does she not want to talk about what happened" -- what happened? We don't know what happened to possibly cause her to shut down. You need to provide details -- can't help you without any content.

 

It was just a feeling I got on Saturday night. I asked her Friday if she was interested in coming along with some friends to a restaurant. On Saturday morning at 4 am she said she was up for it. But then Saturday she said her parents invited her out and she couldn’t make it.

 

I asked if her parents had had a nice time on their holiday, to enjoy her night and she replied with “Yes, it went ok”

 

It was just a feeling something wasn’t right.

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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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What made you ask if something was up?

 

See my reply to Zahara

Orokotikki Established Member

Orokotikki

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Its ok, I'm done trying pull any context out of you.

 

Nothing is up, thats why she doesn't want to talk about the thing which does not exist.

She was watching the show on netflix and thought you might like it too.

 

Stop trying to read so much into her communication and be the emotions detective.

Have a nice week!

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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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You mentioned that something happened that she may not want to talk about. It's all vague. But from the little that you have provided I'll say that she sent you the link because she thought you may like it and that nothing is wrong if she's still communicating with you. Hopefully you'll know in the coming days if something is really off.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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A good investigator goes by the facts, not assumptions. I see nothing out of the ordinary here so I'm gonna go with you are assuming something is wrong, but don't have any evidence to back that up. that's why you are so vague...you have nothing.

Logo Established Member

Logo

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Are you disappointed that she preferred her parents over you?

 

Is that why you thought something was going on?

 

When was the last time you two saw each other?

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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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Are you disappointed that she preferred her parents over you?

 

Is that why you thought something was going on?

 

When was the last time you two saw each other?

 

No, I wasnt disappointed at all... she hadnt seen them for a week

 

We saw eachother Wednesday and i also stayed over.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Her sending the link had nothing to do with the question you asked. She didn't care to answer the question you asked, but she isn't mad at you, so she sent you a link to something she thinks you'd like.

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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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Yeah, you’ve all helped me realise that nothing is up and I’m just being paranoid.

 

It’s no real excuse, but I’ve been under a lot of stress at work this week and it’s left me prone to thinking up scenarios that arent actually happening.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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I told her that if something was up she could tell me if she wanted to.

 

She didn’t reply, but instead last night sent me a link to a series on Netflix called “Inside the Criminal Mind”. She knows I studied Criminology at Uni and that I’m interested in this sort of stuff.

 

Does she not want to talk about what happened?

 

What should I do?

 

Stop nagging her. You're turning her off.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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Thank you--- I was looking for this because he posted this exact same story earlier this week.

 

As I said to OP then:

Then you have to stop this "avoidance by texting" game, winding yourself up with speculation and sit her down and ask her to explain "I don't know". Like I said, you're having sex with her--why can't you have a conversation with her?

 

To me, I can see the rest of that phrase being "I don't know--is something up with you?", because you tip toeing around the subject, never getting to the point is going to become tedious and deadly to your relationship.

 

You need to come out and state your intentions and concerns and find out what hers are and if both are in alignment with one another, then you both need to do way better on your communication with one another.

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Occitanie Established Member

Occitanie

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Update:

 

We had little chat earlier on. I told her my dad was over for a break before his knee operation. She's gone back to working at the theatre she was at last year.

 

I then asked her if I had done anything wrong.

 

She replies: “No nothing, it’s just me at the moment...”

 

I think something’s personal’s gone wrong - maybe at work, or her studies - I told her that whatever it is she knows that I’m here.

 

 

I will leave it at that... hopefully at some point she can open up.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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