AnnaN88 Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 (edited) Hi guys, A few weeks ago, I decided to venture in the world of online dating once again and I matched with a guy who seemed very nice and charming. We chatted for about a week and decided to meet in real life. We had a long first date ( about 6 Hours), everything was great, although the guy seemed a bit tipsy towards the end of the date. He walked me to the bus stop and just before that he asked me if I wanted to enter with him in a sex shop “ just for fun”. I declined politely and decided to wait for my bus. When I got home he texted, I texted back and out of the blue I received a message that it wasn’t for me. It was a crossed message I think for a male friend in which he was saying, in a rather descriptive way, that he wanted to have sex with me. The message was not very pleasant, so I told the guy I did not appreciate the message and find it weird. He tried to justify himself that the message was actually ironic (!), a parody to what some other guys say after a date, but it was clear that he was just trying to dig himself out of a hole and find a silly excuse. Anyways, he came rather irritated saying that I get easily offended and that probably I have trust issues etc As the things are pretty fresh, I came back from the date a few hours ago, the question is “ should I maybe give him a second chance?”. I do feel he is embarrassed as well. Edited September 24, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
d0nnivain Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 I doubt I'd give him a 2nd chance The sex shop request was odd / bad enough but the text would seal the deal to no. You already know 1). he can't hold his liquor; 2). is vulgar; 3). is already talking about you with other men -- gross and 4) is a liar. That explanation about it being a parody is just BS. If he had owned up to being busted that he was talking about you with his buddies, perhaps then I'd say give him a chance but when backed into a corner he takes the dishonorable way out. Nope. . . .I couldn't achieve a foundation of trust with this guy. 2
Dis Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Absolutley not, for two reasons... 1. He wanted you to go into a sex shop with you. No respectful man would do that 2. The message he accidentally sent you clearly indicates he's out for sex and considering it wasn't even nicely put...he sounds like a massive douche who doesn't care at all about you I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP but consider these red flags as a blessing. You're seeing now, early on that he's not a respectable guy instead of down the line when you've gotten your feelings hurt Walk away with your head held high 4
Marc878 Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Wow, he's got a lot of class!!!!! Block !!! Then block again just to make sure 1
Versacehottie Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 I think no. He was testing you both times. Even the second which he is trying to play off as a mistake. Good luck Anna
Author AnnaN88 Posted September 24, 2018 Author Posted September 24, 2018 I doubt I'd give him a 2nd chance The sex shop request was odd / bad enough but the text would seal the deal to no. You already know 1). he can't hold his liquor; 2). is vulgar; 3). is already talking about you with other men -- gross and 4) is a liar. That explanation about it being a parody is just BS. If he had owned up to being busted that he was talking about you with his buddies, perhaps then I'd say give him a chance but when backed into a corner he takes the dishonorable way out. Nope. . . .I couldn't achieve a foundation of trust with this guy. I totally agree, however I was planning to ask him for his bank details and send him the money for the dinner and the drinks. He offered himself to pay for the date, but during the date he mentioned he struggles financially. He did not want to split the bill, however he mentioned after the dinner how “ expensive” the restaurant was, so I promised to pay for the next date. Given that we won’t have a second date, maybe sending the money will be a nice gesture?
Versacehottie Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 I doubt I'd give him a 2nd chance The sex shop request was odd / bad enough but the text would seal the deal to no. You already know 1). he can't hold his liquor; 2). is vulgar; 3). is already talking about you with other men -- gross and 4) is a liar. That explanation about it being a parody is just BS. If he had owned up to being busted that he was talking about you with his buddies, perhaps then I'd say give him a chance but when backed into a corner he takes the dishonorable way out. Nope. . . .I couldn't achieve a foundation of trust with this guy. I totally agree, however I was planning to ask him for his bank details and send him the money for the dinner and the drinks. He offered himself to pay for the date, but during the date he mentioned he struggles financially. He did not want to split the bill, however he mentioned after the dinner how “ expensive” the restaurant was, so I promised to pay for the next date. Given that we won’t have a second date, maybe sending the money will be a nice gesture? yah, no! You don't need to do that. Too nice. He blew it for second date with his shenanigans. You don't owe him. Unless you want to date him, I wouldn't be in touch for any reason. 1
RedHead5 Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Don't send that guy money! Hinting around that it was expensive actually creeps me out a little. If he invited you there and agreed to pay, why would he say that later? Sounds like he was trying to get sympathy and make you feel like you owed him. Don't go out with him again, he sounds crazy. I doubt that text was an accident. And no normal man asks a girl to go into a sex shop on a first date unless it is like a hookup type date. If that's not what you are into, run fast in the other direction. 2
d0nnivain Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Don't send the money. You don't need more contact. You offered. He declined. It's a very sweet gesture but just don't. Him mentioning his financial struggles is one more reason to just steer clear. My heart goes out to him if he's struggling but then he should have picked a more affordable date & he should not talk about money on a early date. That is just crass. He could have accepted your offer but didn't. If money really is an issue what was he going to do, have you pay for the peep show or the toys while you were in the sex shop? Just gross.
Zahara Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Oh no! Yuck on all accounts. Why would you even ask if you should give him a second chance? Unless your date with him veered into a sexually explicit route, and you both were engaging in that kind of banter during the date, hence asked if you want to go to the sex shop, then I can see why his brain went there. But if not, it was disrespectful on a first date to suggest visiting a sex shop. Move on from this one. And don't send him any money. If he's financially strapped, he shouldn't be suggesting expensive restaurants and drinking alcohol till he's tipsy. And sharing his personal struggles on a first date - just no. All kinds of red flags. 2
Mardelis Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 (edited) It's unusual for every single poster to agree. That means a LOT. I'll add my vote and agree with everyone else. 1- cut off contact with this guy with poor boundaries 2- you owe him nothing. He's already occupied too much of your time and emotional energy, time to focus on meeting someone else. Edited September 24, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 I would not even entertain the idea of going out with this guy again. Nor would I send him money.
Veronica73 Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Yep, I agree with everybody else. Don’t send him money and don’t go on another date with him.
Whodatdog Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Im trying to find one single quality that he has that would make you want to go out with him again. Nope. Cant find one.
mortensorchid Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Um, no. Run, don't walk, away from this guy. Block his number on your phone and on the dating website. Just forget him.
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