ExpatInItaly Posted September 23, 2018 Posted September 23, 2018 So I did get a reply from her... I asked if something was up and she replied with “I don’t know...” I guess I should just brace for the worse... I agree that her reply isn't very encouraging, but why don't you call her? Trying to address this over text messaging is not a great approach. 2
coolheadal Posted September 23, 2018 Posted September 23, 2018 So you don’t think there’s anything too wrong? That maybe I’m just overthinking? Maybe she’s just a hard couple of days or something has happened... I really can’t think of anything I’ve said or done between Thursday morning when she kissed me goodbye with her hands around my face... and now. If her hand was around your face is a good sign! Don't think otherwise your thinking the other way. Stop it! I read above you said she contacted you back with a text (what's up with all these text) call her up. You ask her a question what's up and she said she doesn't know. Take that as a form of a call and say let's go for ice cream or something. You need to relax.. Think positive thoughts otherwise you'll loose her! Over being so protective and silly about the smallest things. Just be cool and chill out a bit.
Author Sgthaytham Posted September 24, 2018 Author Posted September 24, 2018 If her hand was around your face is a good sign! Don't think otherwise your thinking the other way. Stop it! I read above you said she contacted you back with a text (what's up with all these text) call her up. You ask her a question what's up and she said she doesn't know. Take that as a form of a call and say let's go for ice cream or something. You need to relax.. Think positive thoughts otherwise you'll loose her! Over being so protective and silly about the smallest things. Just be cool and chill out a bit. So she hasn’t spoken to me since... she saw the message I sent in reply to her “I don’t know...” - I said “you can tell me, but only if you want to”. I’m going to leave it at that, because it’s making me feel sick. I really am totally confused by her rather extreme switch from Thursday morning to not contacting me and acting so cold.
kendahke Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 Lack of detail and her response was rather terse You can't read emotion into a text. You can only project your feelings onto it. Basically, our mutual friends organised a meal for tonight... she said she couldn’t come because her parents were back from their holiday and wanted to take her out... I asked if they had a nice time and to enjoy the dinner ... she replied with only “yes, it was ok” What you wrote was pretty much a yes/no question and those don't require more response or dialogue. You received it as terse because you're trying to machine an outcome that will align with and buttress your anxieties in order to prove them right... instead of having a face to face talk with someone you've been dating since May---that's almost 5 months now. Surely, you can have a conversation with her if you're having sex with her? 1
Author Sgthaytham Posted September 24, 2018 Author Posted September 24, 2018 You can't read emotion into a text. You can only project your feelings onto it. What you wrote was pretty much a yes/no question and those don't require more response or dialogue. You received it as terse because you're trying to machine an outcome that will align with and buttress your anxieties in order to prove them right... instead of having a face to face talk with someone you've been dating since May---that's almost 5 months now. Surely, you can have a conversation with her if you're having sex with her? What do you think about the other “conversation” I sent a message asking her if anything was up, and all she replied was “I don’t know...” I’m pretty sure something is up.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 What do you think about the other “conversation” I sent a message asking her if anything was up, and all she replied was “I don’t know...” I’m pretty sure something is up. Why do you not just call her and talk about it? You're very tentative considering that this is your girlfriend. Waiting around for a text isn't the best way to handle this. 1
kendahke Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 What do you think about the other “conversation” I sent a message asking her if anything was up, and all she replied was “I don’t know...” I’m pretty sure something is up. Then you have to stop this "avoidance by texting" game, winding yourself up with speculation and sit her down and ask her to explain "I don't know". Like I said, you're having sex with her--why can't you have a conversation with her? To me, I can see the rest of that phrase being "I don't know--is something up with you?", because you tip toeing around the subject, never getting to the point is going to become tedious and deadly to your relationship. You need to come out and state your intentions and concerns and find out what hers are and if both are in alignment with one another, then you both need to do way better on your communication with one another. 1
Author Sgthaytham Posted September 24, 2018 Author Posted September 24, 2018 Then you have to stop this "avoidance by texting" game, winding yourself up with speculation and sit her down and ask her to explain "I don't know". Like I said, you're having sex with her--why can't you have a conversation with her? To me, I can see the rest of that phrase being "I don't know--is something up with you?", because you tip toeing around the subject, never getting to the point is going to become tedious and deadly to your relationship. You need to come out and state your intentions and concerns and find out what hers are and if both are in alignment with one another, then you both need to do way better on your communication with one another. I realise there are many things about myself that I have to change and improve. I’ve got to work on my anxiety, and I have to stop overthinking. She just sent me a link to new series on Netflix called “Inside the Criminal Mind”... she knows that I studied Criminology back at Uni, so she’s probably sending it because it might interest me (which it does because I’m fascinated by how and why criminals act). Thanks a lot for your advice.
Author Sgthaytham Posted September 24, 2018 Author Posted September 24, 2018 Why do you not just call her and talk about it? You're very tentative considering that this is your girlfriend. Waiting around for a text isn't the best way to handle this. She sent me a link to an interesting Netflix series called “Inside the Criminal Mind”. She knows about my studies at Uni about it and that I’m really interested in it... I’ve got to work on myself.
kendahke Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 I realise there are many things about myself that I have to change and improve. I’ve got to work on my anxiety, and I have to stop overthinking. Pro tip: getting this out of the way before you get into a relationship helps things work out way, way better.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 She sent me a link to an interesting Netflix series called “Inside the Criminal Mind”. She knows about my studies at Uni about it and that I’m really interested in it... I’ve got to work on myself. I'm not sure how this is relevant to the issue at hand, but it appears you're too fearful to have a real conversation with her about it. You behave as though you've been dating the girl a few weeks and barely know her. 1
Minneloa Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 She sent me a link to an interesting Netflix series called “Inside the Criminal Mind”. She knows about my studies at Uni about it and that I’m really interested in it... I’ve got to work on myself. I am confused. Are you dropping the subject because she sent you an unrelated link? What's the worst that could happen if you tried to talk to her?
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