Chassit Posted September 22, 2018 Posted September 22, 2018 So, as some of you know. I was painfully left about 6 weeks ago after a five year common law marriage. Well, I have started dating again and someone is already really starting to get my attention. I am really worried that I am rebounding and am going to hurt this person as a result. As I was really recently hurt, I am really don't want to hurt someone else... Any thoughts on how to proceed? I have to admit there is a secondary motive to make my ex jealous too, which I am bothered by...
FMW Posted September 22, 2018 Posted September 22, 2018 (edited) Be open and honest with the person you are dating. Tell her exactly what you've posted here. She needs to know what she's dealing with so she can decide whether to continue or not. In my opinion you should not be dating anyone right now. You want to make your ex jealous, you are hurting and looking for a distraction from and attention to ease your pain. It's very unfair to the other person unless you are very honest about the situation. ETA: Would you want to date someone in your situation? Edited September 22, 2018 by Finding my way 1
Author Chassit Posted September 22, 2018 Author Posted September 22, 2018 Of course, I now you are right. I have told her that I am pretty new out of a relationship but I did not tell her that we lived together for five years nor the horrible things that she did to me. I will need to have this talk before things move any further. Thank you.
smackie9 Posted September 22, 2018 Posted September 22, 2018 I agree it's best to keep those type of conversations among close friends, not dates. I don't see an issue with dating just to go out and feel like a persona again. nothing wrong with getting laid, and some female company to take the edge off....just have to keep boundaries set, and feelings in check. Date to just get out of the house, not for some emotional rescue to feel wanted. 1
Author Chassit Posted September 22, 2018 Author Posted September 22, 2018 Yeah, keeping boundaries is why I made this posty.. Gotta make sure to keep myself in check and not do something to hurt either myself nor others. Just because my evil ex doesn't care does not mean that I do not. Oh, and I am still super bitter LOL
Versacehottie Posted September 23, 2018 Posted September 23, 2018 So, as some of you know. I was painfully left about 6 weeks ago after a five year common law marriage. Well, I have started dating again and someone is already really starting to get my attention. I am really worried that I am rebounding and am going to hurt this person as a result. As I was really recently hurt, I am really don't want to hurt someone else... Any thoughts on how to proceed? I have to admit there is a secondary motive to make my ex jealous too, which I am bothered by... I would say your awareness is a good first step. I'm pretty sure it's way too soon, especially under the circumstances and being bitter and all. If you want to preserve a chance with this person, maybe tell her what's going on, break it off, focus on yourself & some hobbies, career and then you can date her when you really don't hold this much pain or freshness of breakup anymore. Think more like 6 months down the road. Good luck 1
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