Should I be mad at my friend for being late twice/cancelling last minute?

[Dodgersfan11]

Things like this irritate me, this is the second time my "friend" shows up late after planning to get together. I usually keep my promise and show up on time, make the effort to leave a bit earlier. Well, she usually takes an Uber-the first time she showed up 15 minutes late=no big deal. This evening, we were suppose to go to a pre-party art event-earlier this morning we made plans to meet at 6pm. I left my place a bit earlier knowing there was going to be traffic-I made it to the area at 6pm, I couldn't find parking because it was packed. My friend called me at 6pm-I told her that I was already near the venue and that I couldn't find a parking spot. She was surprised because she was still home and waiting for her friend to get ready and they were going to Uber together, she then said, that "I" should have called her to let her know, Well, we made plans to meet at 6pm, DUH. She didn't bother to tell me that her friend will be joining us and that she will be leaving after 6-when I asked her why she told me 6, she said that her friend changed her mind and then said that she cut herself. I told her if I didn't find parking I was going home. She then suggested I park my car at her place and we can all ride together-but I didn't want to do that, but I would have to drive far out- then I told her that I was going to try to find parking. Well she called me and then said she wasn't going AT ALL because Uber cancelled her ride and that "everyone" is going to the art fair this evening. Which I don't believe at all, there are like 2 major concerts going on in the area, so it can't be possible. I don't Uber, so I don't know their policy.

 

What do you think? After all that trouble that I went to drive to the so called pre party, so didn't call me to let me know-the party was supposedly over with at 7:30pm. She then suggested to meet up on Sunday, I'm not even to bother.

[Dodgersfan11]

And I don't think I want to talk to her anymore because of this, I mean she's like this now, and she will probably do this same routine in the future, I'm not going to put up with this.

[basil67]

If we discount the first time she was late (as you say, 15 mins is no big deal) then we're left with one crazy late mix up. Is she a new friend or an old dear friend? If she's a long term dear friend and this is out of character for her, I'd probably let it go. If she's a new friend, then it's probably safe to say that she's flaky and not worth bothering with.

[Dodgersfan11]

She is a new friend, we just started hanging out. I think she is making me out to look like an idiot. She apparently said she had no idea, how busy tonight was going to be, seeing that she's gone several times to this kind of event in the last 8 years with her ex boyfriend.

[basil67]

In that case, I wouldn't bother contacting her again. Sorry it didn't work out for you

[Mardelis]

Should you be mad? Anger is an emotion it's not a choice. If 10 people say "yes be mad" are you going to become furious and start yelling at her?

[FMW]

If by should you be mad you mean is it ok that you were upset with her - yes, absolutely. She was inconsiderate and showed no remorse.

 

This appears to be her norm. She's not a good match as a friend for you.

[anika99]

I would be very annoyed about this. I'm very punctual and I've learned to be more understanding of people who are less punctual but what annoyed me most about your friend was her crappy attitude. You should have called her? You had planned with her to meet at 6. She's the one who changed the plan so she's the one who should have called. She is self centred and inconsiderate not just for being late and then cancelling, but also because she tried to blame the mess on you because you didn't call. The nerve!

[preraph]

I wouldn't put up with that. And she's gaslighting you, trying to make it your fault. That's even worse! She's bringing an univited friend. That's rude if you two planned to go together, not as rude if you just told her about the event and left it open. I find when someone is inviting a third party, they usually are not all that into being friends or whatever with you. The problem is they often hang with them and leave the person that invited them hanging socially at the event. As they say in the south, Dance with the one that brung ya.

[Dodgersfan11]

I cut ties with her, this is the 2nd time is made me look like an idiot. The first time we hung out we both agreed to meet at 7:30p for drinks. Ok, by 7:10pm I'm already on my way, because the place is 25 minutes away. Well, she calls me 7:15 and to check up and I told her that I'm driving and heading there and guess what she said, "Oh, you're already there? I'm still at home. I better hurry up." I was like WTF. She ended up being 15 minutes late. There really is no excuse. I'm not going to put with people like this. I would rather do things alone than having to rely on people. I'm not going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I texted her and told her she was bull***ing me and then I blocked here. Done deal.