buzzie2 Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 This is a kind of personal question, but I would really like an honest answer from a guys perspective. If a guy finds out that a girl he likes is a virgin and wants to save herself for her husband does that make him run away? I'm still a virgin. I've had many opportunities to lose it but I truly believe that waiting for the right guy will pay off. The problem is, when I do meet guys that I think would be good boyfriends, as soon as I tell them my beliefs a lot of them think of me as a conquest or that because I've never had sex I must be burning with lust inside. Then it gets awkward for me because I don't know if they really like me or their enjoying the possibility of bragging to their friends that they took a girls virginity. Are there any other virgins who feel this way? And how do you deal with it? Sincerely, buzzie2
Nubemeister Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I am one myself and I have always wondered that. I wonder if guys just find it like an annoyance or something really off, or just something they don't want to deal with. Id like to know from a guys perspective also...
Cupcake Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 Before that, I had the same stress that you have. Guys would date me just for the conquest of being my first, eventhough I told them about my religious commitment. Usually, after a long time without me giving in to their request, they dumped me. Another concern I had was that I had never met a man who was a virgin. I didn't think it was fair for me to save my virginity until I got married, if my husband hadn't saved himself for me as well. I also considered the fact that I may never get married. I couldn't bare the thought of being a virgin for my entire life. To eliminate all the stress, I finally decided to lose my virginity to a man whom I trusted. Unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. But I don't regret losing my virginity. It would be really sad for me if I hadn't lost it because I am older now and still unmarried. I am happy to know what it feels like to have a man inside me!!
lost_in_chgo Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 Do guys get turned off by girls who are virgins? Turned off? No. For those of us who never slept with a virgin, it is a curiosity. If it irritates someone that you're a virgin, the second time you wont be But there is alot to be said for experience. If you're going to maintain your status, you should be realistic about what to expect after you get married. If your guy thinks you need some coaching, you should not be insecure about that. Take it as an opportunity to improve your love life on both sides. Some reading on the subject might be a good idea beforehand if you haven't already. There's nothing more irritating than a woman that refuses to enjoy herself in bed or just lays there.
Blackfrost Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 unfortunately in some guys minds (those with a conscious) it can be a bit of an issue, knowing that the virgin you are deflowering will alway remember you as her first. Virginity mostly means that you don't know what the hell you are doing, so sex can be awkward the first few times hahaha
Gold Pile Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I would enjoy just fooling around (you do some fooling around?) kissing etc is all great fun. And yes I would often try to get you to give up your virginity to me. Recommend you don't wait too long. Mr Right might not show for many years.
Link-80 Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I personally love when a girl is a virgin. My girlfriend was a virgin before I met her, and the first time we made love was wonderful. I loved hearing her moan for the first time, and scream because she'd never felt anything like it before. I loved the look on her face as I plunged into her. Then the smile afterwards that said "Thank you, for showing me what true love feels like."
elijahBailey Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 Awww, where have you girls been hiding? I thought your species was extinct And, no, I don't have any problems with virgins. Why would I? No experience? .... No problem.... everything can be taught
alphamale Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 If a guy finds out that a girl he likes is a virgin and wants to save herself for her husband does that make him run away? 99% of time I would say yes....but it is the 1% dude you are looking for so you'll have to work harder. BTW, BUZZIE2, guys loooove to take a girls virginity cause instead of one notch they get like five.
elijahBailey Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 99% of time I would say yes....but it is the 1% dude you are looking for so you'll have to work harder. That's cos 99% of the time you just wanna screw the girl and leave. But if she's marriage material, I bet you wouldn't be runnin' away, eh dude?
JS17 Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I also considered the fact that I may never get married. I couldn't bare the thought of being a virgin for my entire life. To eliminate all the stress, I finally decided to lose my virginity to a man whom I trusted. Unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. But I don't regret losing my virginity. It would be really sad for me if I hadn't lost it because I am older now and still unmarried. I am happy to know what it feels like to have a man inside me!! I was in a similar situation to Cupcake but I wasn't necessarily waiting for marriage but for someone that I loved. It was a long time between deep relationships for me. He pushed me to tell him how many people I had slept with even though I wanted to keep it to myself. Eventually after about a thousand times of asking I lied and did not tell him I was a virgin. When he told me that he was in love with me after we had been sleeping together for over a month I felt that I had to fess up because I was stupid and actually believed that he was in love with me. Once he found out he said he didn't care about it but he checked out emotionally. His actions did not meet his words and then he became verbally abusive. In short, in my experience, yes, they do care. Not only do they not want to be that "important" to you in being your first but they are also insecure enough to think that you'll want to experience other men. And let me tell ya something, I was WAY better in bed then he was
mixwell Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I think finding a guy that is a virgin these days is very rare.. Buzzy the more time that goes by and the older you get the chances of you finding a guy in your age range being a V is going to be very slim I think.. When I was with my ex my mom made a good point (because we were each others 1st and were together for 7 years) She said we need to be with other people and experience things.. The reason for this is in her opinion is that if you are a V and get married, eventually once you get used to sex you are going to start wondering what it would be like with someone else. You know human nature.. we always want to have something better and better. I think its true because the whole time I was with my ex, I always wondered what it would be like to be with someone else.. Now there are exceptions but I think its just curiousity. Personally I would rather marry a girl that has been with a few guys as opposed to a V because I believe what my mom told me to be true and it does make alot of sense to me. I think the whole virginity thing is way too overrated. I think once you lose it you will be like wow I made a big deal out of this for nothing.. This one chick I dated was a virgin when I dated her and she 18 and wanted it to be with the right person and this and that.. Well we stopped dating and she had sex with someone and I ended up talking to her later on down the road and we started dating again.. she told me that she couldn't believe she made a big deal out of it.. I don't know Im just rambling on right now.. But think about it though. Once you get married you are commited to someone for the rest of your life. I think its good to go out and get all the desires out before you get married. thats just my thoughts. Peace
Cecelius Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 To a certain extent, yes, but if there is good communication, it doesn't need to be. 1) If a girl is a virgin and is older, I assume that she really is saving it for the special guy (which puts greater pressure on the relationship) and potentially for marriage (which is not something I would be willing to wait for). 2) I assume that a girl who has NO experience in this area is likely to get a little wild when it does happen -- that's the kind of thing that should have happened in college, long before I meet her and far in the past. 3) It's easier to conclude that she has no skills and that she won't be as responsive than a girl who has been through some of it before.
Pyro Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I don't have a problem at all with virgins. It shows that they are not sluts.
alphamale Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I don't have a problem at all with virgins. It shows that they are not sluts. it also shows that they have no sexual experience. For most it takes quite a bit of experience to get decent at sex, and some never figure it out.
alphamale Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I don't mind being a teacher. i've done it before, trust me....its not that much fun after a while.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 Quote: Originally Posted by The Riddler I don't have a problem at all with virgins. It shows that they are not sluts. i don't know that i agree with that too much...i've known girls who didn't have sex, but were willing to blow any guy that came their way, and would let guys do anything at all to them, except have sex. you don't have to have sex to be a slut, that's for sure. i actually asked a few guys this question today, (the original poster's question) and all of them pretty much said the same thing. they love the idea of being with a virgin if they know they are going to be able to have sex with the virgin--they think that's pretty hot. however, they are not willing to wait until marriage to have sex with said virgin. maybe a harsh reality, but i know there must be exceptions to that....
Blackfrost Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 i've done it before, trust me....its not that much fun after a while. I agree with you alpha. Virgins are no longer allowed on my radar. Teaching gets old. Give me someone who will teach (jaded overexposed) me something new. Then I'll be impressed.
Cupcake Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 In the modern times we are currently living in, saving virginity until marriage is absolutely irrelevent. That standard was set during a time when people didn't date. They had arranged marriges and often married very young to the first person they are involved with. Some people still practice this today. Just realize that it's not beneficial for every culture.
RecordProducer Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 Virgins are no longer allowed on my radar. Teaching gets old. Give me someone who will teach (jaded overexposed) me something new. Then I'll be impressed. When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a teacher!
Pyro Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Quote: i don't know that i agree with that too much...i've known girls who didn't have sex, but were willing to blow any guy that came their way, and would let guys do anything at all to them, except have sex. you don't have to have sex to be a slut, that's for sure. i actually asked a few guys this question today, (the original poster's question) and all of them pretty much said the same thing. they love the idea of being with a virgin if they know they are going to be able to have sex with the virgin--they think that's pretty hot. however, they are not willing to wait until marriage to have sex with said virgin. maybe a harsh reality, but i know there must be exceptions to that.... I suppose that its true, but so far in my experience, I have yet to meet a virgin like that. If I met the right kind of girl and she was a virgin and wanted to wait for marriage before having sex, I would wait as well.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I suppose that its true, but so far in my experience, I have yet to meet a virgin like that. If I met the right kind of girl and she was a virgin and wanted to wait for marriage before having sex, I would wait as well. i knew there was one of you out there!
elijahBailey Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 i knew there was one of you out there! me too, me too! nothing beats marrying a woman who's never been had. Must be my primal male instinct talkin' here
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