This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 All LSers, a lot of you people know my story. Right now I'm just extremely mystified (and it still hurts) - the guy has been completely at ease with forgetting me. Doesn't he ever think of me or remember me??! How is it possible to erase someone who's been the one person, so easily? He'll be 33 in a week...and as far as I know from the 3 year relationship, I was the person with whom he shared the most amazing mental "fit". But then the demon of "commitment phobia" raised its head and blew over everything. While I admire his "will power" at being able to not even try contacting me in any form for the past 4 months, I'm surprised. The worst part is, my birthday is coming up next week, and his birthday is just one day after. I know he won't contact me, and neither will I. Because I know from experience that it's futile to try to contact him when he is in the position to throw it back in my face. Well, he knows that I'll be feeling extremely low, and it probably gives him a sense of superiority...to think that he manages just fine without me. He will be half expecting me to contact him, and I'm definitely not going to give him that satisfaction. All the same, I wonder how he can just wipe me off his mind in an instant. Even if he might think of me, he has the amazing capability to brush aside the thought of me in a nanosecond, and not even feel any emotion. All this, when he knows I came here all the way just for him. In the last conversation, he had promised that he'd come down to see me once before I leave the country. Well, he's not even cared to find out if I'm still here or have I left... Makes me wonder, what was it that he felt for me in the first place?!!
sanne Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 nobody can have a 3 year relationship with someone and just all of a sudden forget about it at the drop of a hat. i can guarantee you that he still thinks about you, just not as much as you do him. what you need to do now is to stop asking these questions and to start providing your own closure. it's not going to do you anygood to wonder why he's not calling, or why he doesn't care. your just going to have to accept these things and move on.
Author This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 8, 2005 Author Posted September 8, 2005 I know...I'm trying to do so, the best I can. It's not easy though, when you have had such an incredible connnection with someone. It just hurts and mystifies me that he doesn't miss having the "right person" in his life. Or maybe it was just my perception about me being "the one" for him?! Maybe he didn't even feel the same way for me as I did for him, and although he felt that we had the perfect mental wavelength, he didn't feel or want to feel the emotional intensity involved with such a relationship. I don't know if I'm over-analysing...but I can't imagine for the life of me, how and why would a person purposefully throw away something that had the most amazing potential?! ::sigh:
brooke7777 Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I feel your pain. I had never felt such an amazing connection with anyone before my ex. We were that powerhouse couple that no one doubted would make it through thick and thin. We had our whole lives planned together...we discussed our future house, the number of kids we would have, etc. It was one of those things that I thought would always be a certainty in my life. It seems so absurd to think that one day you're life is in tact and the next it's in total disarray. I just don't understand how you walk away from that person who you felt that you were meant to be with for the rest of you life so easily. All we can do is try to move forward with our lives and know that fate will lead you back to your partner if it was truly meant to be.
Candy Cane Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Well, This, I sure can appreciate your pain. He used you up. What a not very nice person. You shouldn't have wasted those three years on him. The good news is that there is FOR SURE somebody better out there for you. I understand if you doubt me but it is true. Now, go out and find HIM all the while, remembering what you went through with Not-Nice. Don't let someone use you for three years and then give you the heave ho. Don't go moving anywhere for anyone unless they give you a nice flashy ring to put on your finger. Make them work for your affection...and if they don't want to, move on. You need some distraction. You need to meet some new people. Go about doing that pronto. You might not find "the one" but meeting some nice people will make you feel better about yourself and you will think less about Not-Nice. You deserved better...you did. But then, like many of us, you let it happen too. Know your part in all of this and own up to it. Just don't let it happen again.
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