Reltubsirch0412 Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 My girlfriend apparently has a habit no prior girlfriend of mine has ever had. If I say or do something she disapproves of she won't talk to about it directly. Instead she'll dig up some meme on Facebook that falls in line with what she wants to say and she'll post it there. (I think people in the past five or six years have ruined Facebook by posting an excessive number of memes rather than their own original thoughts, btw) Sometimes the memes are ambiguous, but I can't help but feel that they're directed at me. She admitted one meme she posted last spring was directed at me. But just that once. In May I asked if more of these memes were directed at me, and she totally denied it and said they were directed at other people. She was convincing. But more memes have popped up that can only be directed at me, I'm certain. I realize that when someone sees a meme on Facebook and thinks it's about them it usually means they have a guilty conscience. My parents and many members of my family are Facebook friends with her. Even my mother thinks some of her memes are directed at me. But if she has a problem with me then she won't discuss it with me in private or face to face, phone or even text....as I prefer her to do. Nope, it seems she has to post a meme about it on Facebook so the whole world can get clued in. She's always bragging about how upfront and direct she is with people....but she seems too timid to talk things over with me, again, in private. Am I just being paranoid? Have you ever encountered this problem? Is this passive aggressive behavior on her part?
Orokotikki Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 No. Seen it around in a lot of other couples. Yes, hugely so. Extricate yourself. 3
smackie9 Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 (edited) That kind of passive/aggressive behavior is immature, and a sure sign of bad communication. I doubt you can change it, except finding a new GF that is respectful, and has np talking to you about things that concern her. I know people that do this sort of thing and I know everyone that sees it, just roll there eyes. So much drama when people have fights like that. Airing your grievances in public like that is so rude IMO. Edited September 18, 2018 by smackie9 3
CollinW Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 It's childish, passive aggressive, attention whorish and a bit narcissistic. I suggest you post a meme stating the next time meme your gf posts should be will be about getting dumped unless she cuts it out. Leave people and social media out your business 2
ExpatInItaly Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 Ugh, I have a coworker who does this. She takes swipes at her boyfriend on FB with cryptic status updates and memes. It's obvious to anyone who knows her offline what she's doing, as she tends to be just as passive-aggressive in real life. She's also incredibly immature, and will air her relationship dirty laundry with almost anyone who will listen. I would be cautious if I were you. Unless your girl is about 18, she is too old for this malarkey. (The coworker in my post is nearly 30. Yes, really.) 1
basil67 Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 Unfriend her on FB. The reason to give is that you don't like all her snarky memes. If she knows you won't see them, she can't use them in her passive aggressive manner. 1
BaileyB Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 Unfriend her on FB. The reason to give is that you don't like all her snarky memes. If she knows you won't see them, she can't use them in her passive aggressive manner. Good plan. She will then be required to talk with you personally, if she has a complaint or concern. And, if she doesn't... Well, you are not required to stay with her and tolerate this passive aggressive behavior. 1
kendahke Posted September 19, 2018 Posted September 19, 2018 (edited) My girlfriend apparently has a habit no prior girlfriend of mine has ever had. If I say or do something she disapproves of she won't talk to about it directly. Instead she'll dig up some meme on Facebook that falls in line with what she wants to say and she'll post it there. She's being passive-aggressive. I realize that when someone sees a meme on Facebook and thinks it's about them it usually means they have a guilty conscience. My parents and many members of my family are Facebook friends with her. Even my mother thinks some of her memes are directed at me. I think it's time for you and your tribe to unfriend her if she cannot resolve her differences like an adult. Seeking to embarrass or shame someone and then insulting their intelligence as if they didn't know about the run up to the meme showing up on her wall illustrates her disrespect and I'll go as far as to say contempt for your person. But if she has a problem with me then she won't discuss it with me in private or face to face, phone or even text....as I prefer her to do. Nope, it seems she has to post a meme about it on Facebook so the whole world can get clued in. Here's my take: the guilty make the most noise and most guilty make that noise in facebook memes. What exactly does she think being that messy and putting your relationship's issues out in the street for her posse to rummage through, your family to see and you to be embarrassed is going to do for her that's positive? Does she think her posse or your tribe is going to take you to the woodshed or something? She's got some very immature/under or non-developed conflict resolution skills. She's always bragging about how upfront and direct she is with people....but she seems too timid to talk things over with me, again, in private. She's a coward. She wants to take the 2x4 to the hornet's nest, but also wants to complain when she gets stung. Am I just being paranoid? Have you ever encountered this problem? Is this passive aggressive behavior on her part? I don't think you're being paranoid. This is a textbook definition of passive-aggressive. Edited September 19, 2018 by kendahke
Rocker71 Posted September 20, 2018 Posted September 20, 2018 Unfriend her on FB. The reason to give is that you don't like all her snarky memes. If she knows you won't see them, she can't use them in her passive aggressive manner. Do this! She sounds like a pain in the butt. If she wants to make a huge issue about your unfriending her on Facebook then dump her. She isn’t one you should be spending your precious time with. Also, if you were seeing other women, this wouldn’t be an issue.
RedHead5 Posted September 21, 2018 Posted September 21, 2018 I could never date someone who did that. When I started talking to someone new, once I get to their Facebook it can make or break them. I would specifically look for that type of crap. A bunch of passive aggressive stauses or memes would completely turn me off. I don't need that kind of drama.
todreaminblue Posted September 21, 2018 Posted September 21, 2018 i post inspirational quotes of feel good things on facebook and i post my poetry for my friends to read.....as far as my life goes i dont really share my personal thoughts other than what i write in poetry or what i agree with in articles or quotes or really inspiring posts..... i dont think its right to share too much on facebook at all i certainly would have a dig at a partneri could just talk to face to face...i would not want to embarrass any partner i had..or put myself and him on show.....yuck.... the memes that you speak of you would have to give me an example ....with memes and the like...its easy to take them in different perspectives.....a lot easier to take them than posting my bf sucks he stood me up i hate his guts he has a little weiner and then regret those stupid personal thoughts in a post after everyone has seen it..memes can actually be forgotten in the slew of memes in a news feed...you will find however specific thoughts pertaining to someone and or personal thoughts posted...arent forgotten...what exactly was the meme she posted that upset you
central Posted September 21, 2018 Posted September 21, 2018 I wouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior. I'd break up with her - on facebook. Let the world see it, and the reasons why. 1
rightondude Posted September 21, 2018 Posted September 21, 2018 hah this brings back memories of when I was married and my buddies would randomly text me saying "dude what happened?" I wasn't on facebook at the time but my ex would post something like "why do I tolerate this???" or "I am sooo done!" and and angry meltdown emoji. And I wasn't even aware something had happened between us. Yes, we obviously had really healthy communication, why do you ask?
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