LDLove Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 There is a one girl that we have started texting via one dating app, we are in early 30s and talking for about 3 weeks now and we were talking to meet together in about one month when she is coming back in my city to live (She was living here too before) she is currently working in another country. We have fun time over with texting and calling, sometimes for about 2-3 hours and i like her a lot and she is saying same about me, even started to calling me with sweet names with a lot of flirting so she seems that it is interested. The problem is that sometimes she is weird like treating like we are in a relationship and becoming jealous if i return a text 6-7 hours later and she is suspicious that I am talking to other girls too, on other hand she is telling me how she meets some other guys there and that who knows what will happened in next month on both sides, and I am really confused.
d0nnivain Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 You seem to have a realistic handle on this . . . that it's a fun distraction with some potential but not real until you can meet in person. She's jumping the gun. At best that is a yellow caution flag. Proceed accordingly. If she gets worse, end things before they even begin.
Lotsgoingon Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 The suspicion so ridiculously early in the relationship (when in fact you don't have any kind of agreement) ... is a red flag. So you want to call out the red flag. Tell her you don't appreciate her suspicion and her accusations (that you're chasing after someone else). In fact, until you both agree to be exclusive you have the right to be talking to and dating someone else. Very important for you to challenge her on this. You do NOT want to say, "I'm being good and I don't know why you don't trust me." No, that's giving her the power. You want to say, "I was having a good time until you started to get suspicious over minor things. I don't want to be in a relationship with that kind of suspicion. Is this going to be a problem?" You basically have to make clear that this is a non-negotiable matter. She has to do all the backing off here. Do not compromise or else you're basically affirming her behavior. 1
Author LDLove Posted September 19, 2018 Author Posted September 19, 2018 UPDATE: Last day the situation has escalated, in the morning we were sending couple of texts and everything was ok and after midday i have send to her "Thinking on you" and she replayed "Same with heart emoji". And in the evening i got two texts: "I see how much you thinking on me" and "Have a great time". I have called her after and she was hell of a mad why i didn't text her or call after her last message and she said don't call me or text me anymore and hung up the phone. So my thoughts are that she is a lot insecure and i I am not gonna contact her, if she choose to call me and give a excuse maybe i will think again. But i would like to hear other thoughts. Thanks.
d0nnivain Posted September 19, 2018 Posted September 19, 2018 You did the right thing. She's too much & you don't need to be involved with that kind of drama from someone you have never met in person. Her expectations were unrealistic & way out of line. Multiple daily texts before a meeting & the delusion that you are more serious then two strangers talking is nutty & unstable. You dodged a bullet.
smackie9 Posted September 19, 2018 Posted September 19, 2018 Hear other thoughts? She's bat $%^& cray cray. Your gut is just screaming at you! Run Forest RUN!! 2
kendahke Posted September 19, 2018 Posted September 19, 2018 (edited) The problem is that sometimes she is weird like treating like we are in a relationship and becoming jealous if i return a text 6-7 hours later and she is suspicious that I am talking to other girls too, Best defense is a good offense... on other hand she is telling me how she meets some other guys there and that who knows what will happened in next month on both sides, and I am really confused. Sounds to me as if she doesn't expect for either she or you to be faithful and she's just letting you know that that is one expectation that's not on her list. I am not gonna contact her, if she choose to call me and give a excuse maybe i will think again The better answer is: she's on block and I'm moving on... Why do you want to invest in her silly gameplaying? Girls that thin on the ground where you are? Edited September 19, 2018 by kendahke
lovelymay Posted September 22, 2018 Posted September 22, 2018 I’d definitely leave it for what it is! Yes we women can get stressed if a man does not reply, or when he shows different behavior in replies. For example if you normally text back within an hour and suddenly it becomes 6 hrs we may get stressed that something is wrong because those are often the signs of someone breaking up with you... However, we also know how to take control and give guys their space. And if she acts like this, it’s a red flag. She can be very needy and clingy in a real relationship and drive herself crazy with things that aren’t there.. Skip this one! 1
coolheadal Posted September 22, 2018 Posted September 22, 2018 There is a one girl that we have started texting via one dating app, we are in early 30s and talking for about 3 weeks now and we were talking to meet together in about one month when she is coming back in my city to live (She was living here too before) she is currently working in another country. We have fun time over with texting and calling, sometimes for about 2-3 hours and i like her a lot and she is saying same about me, even started to calling me with sweet names with a lot of flirting so she seems that it is interested. The problem is that sometimes she is weird like treating like we are in a relationship and becoming jealous if i return a text 6-7 hours later and she is suspicious that I am talking to other girls too, on other hand she is telling me how she meets some other guys there and that who knows what will happened in next month on both sides, and I am really confused. Texting only doesn't means your dating or just calling or even doing video chat. You are her are just online friends who started to know each other through a dating app. She can come and go and most of all see anyone real in person. You can do the same thing too. No limits or restrictions because neither one of you have actually physically (keyword here) that means you met her and have hold her hand. You haven't even got there yet. What you have is online static connection with an emotional (keyword number 2 here) words only! That's all what this is nothing else. Words (typing text and sometimes calling on the phone as buddies do. See I have someone like this from Facebook. It's just a friend online through What's App. She just had a HBD = happy birthday she said it to herself. So I am not there, no cake but she sent me video of the party and all the guest saying happy birthday song. These sorts of things are just online buddies. Women like these can start to say anything you want them to say to you. Look-up sociopathic liar she's the one doing that. She can't text you crying but she can call you up crying over silly things and your so confused. Cheating not by you but by her. You need to understand what you have and where it's going. If you haven't met yet when? I can remember another one I had text/talked over the phone. She lived in UTAH. If it wasn't for her sister I would never had known she was living with a guy and chatting up sociopathic lies aimed at me. So like I said if you don't know her enough or she's taking a long time to answer you it usually she's seeing or she's with another guy. Living or seeing. Heck she could be a single mom with a kid. Just don't know who your chatting with or calling on cell phone today. That's why you need to meet in person and date. Texting is not dating it's really call pen-pal... 1
Recommended Posts