robbysurfs Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 (edited) Hello out there its been awhile since I have posted but I am back. I met a girl on tinder and she became my girl I am 42 and she is 32 btw. We were with each other 1yr 1/2. At the beginning it was going great until she lost her job got depressed and was out of work for a long time but I supported her the best way I could. I eventually quit my job to venture into a new career she did not like because it was consuming and obsessive on my part. Long story short we started fighting about things such as trust issues and and me being secretive about my financial situation and I chose space at times because she could get pushy.I never cheated we never cursed or yelled at each other but she said I made her feel alone in the relationship. Granted mistakes were made on my part and I accept what I have done but she was not perfect either.I loved her and still do very much and imo these were all mendable things we could of worked on. She landed a new job and things picked up for her but for me the times got stressful.The new venture did not work out lost a lot of money and it put some more stress on us and I was at a real low point in my life. However, not the end of the world I had some prospects of new employment. One night she came over and hysterically crying said she could not do this anymore. She cried and cried and it was really difficult because I was shocked I thought we had plans and this was just a rough patch we would get through together. Moving forward this happened of May/june of this year. We have had some conversation about the break in which she blamed entirely on me. I asked her if we could try again and she denied. I then proceeded to pack it up and do what i do and go no contact. I blocked her on social media unfollowed her, but she was still stalking and looking at my instagram stories. I then went off instagram completely to get some clarity. Went back on and looked at her instagram and did not reblock her and she then followed me and I thought what was the harm if she wants to follow me. Then every photo and every story i would post she like or be there like a ghostly reminder that left me wanting. I reached out to her and said I missed her again and wanted to work it out. She responded happily and we were going to meet up and have coffee. I messaged her before the meet because honestly I did not know what I was walking into she could be seeing a new person(btw a friend saw her on tinder shortly after our break btw) or it could of ended being horribly awkward for me in person. I basically laid my intentions out and asked her if thought we could work it out but again she declined and said she loves me but hoped we could be friends. I told her good luck and wished her well because I am not accepting friendship out of this, not happening. Few days later I posted a a picture about a achievement and she contacted me via private message on instagram(very impersonal if you asked me) again to congratulate me on something and then said "I hope this does not make you block me" "I just want you to know you are loved by me".. I did not respond... This aggravated me and made me angry and I went off social media for two weeks then came back on today. I have not looked at her account nor do I follow her but she follows me and as soon as I posted something here she is still lurking and its like she still has a hook in me in a way. I dont think its fair she follows me and still has my pictures on her account. I wish she would either love me or leave me the f$ck alone. I am thinking I will just block her and make it a point to never look at her account again.. I deserve to heal and to be able to have a life too. I have broken it off with women before and never looked back and never poked around out of respect for them to let them heal. Very frustrated because her hanging around gives me false hope.. Edited September 18, 2018 by robbysurfs
Gretchen12 Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 You do need to totally block her. If possible don't use social media at all. She says no to working it out because she figures you'll remain an available option, a standby. She has no incentive to reconcile while she's dating around. When she said no to reconciliation, there should be consequences: i.e. no longer have access to you.
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