brubaker2004 Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Has anyone else's MM made you cut off ties with your male friends because he is "uncomfortable" with them and says that they all really want to sleep with you? i broke up with my MM and am regretting cutting friendships that were important to me. now i look back and feel really stupid. i understood HIS jealousy but he went home to a wife every night?!?!?! oh, yeah, he said he didn't sleep with her anymore so he has the same right as i do to feel uncomfortable. i cannot believe i became the girl that fell for all of his ridiculous behavior.
nosybear819 Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Really? Your MM made you stop seeing some of your friends? Thats crazy. My MM isn't like that he said he's be a total hypocrite to try and regulate who I'm dating. He also said that in all fairness since I know who he's sleeping with he oughta be entitled to the same. He'd be especially out of line to suggest that I stop seeing someone, well if i was seeing anyone. As for him being comfortable with me having male friends - he's met a couple guys that I hang out with and we have mutual acquaintances - for the most part I think he's fine with it. Sometimes tho' I can tell he's curious to know how certain people act around me he'll ask slightly probing questions you know? "So what did Bob say to you earlier...? or " Oh, I saw John stopped by earlier...insert fake laugh..what was he doing asking you out or something? But he'd never confront me or demand something of me like what you said your MM did...but hey I hope you've made new friends by now and learned a little something
TXgal Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I have many male friends... Actually more guy friends than girls... I'm just one of those girls who have easier time talking to guys, and hanging out with them than I do alot of girls. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable hanging out with chicks, I think they can be catty, petty, dramatic, and b*tchy... Especially at my age, so I try to steer clear LOL. Anyways, that's all these guys are, just that, FRIENDS... Very platonic, nothing's ever happened, I make sure there isn't much attraction between me and my guy friends... I'd never do anything with them, especially if it meant our friendship would be at risk. My MM has never told me to break it off with them... He is a little jealous, always asking when I'm out with them or whatnot...I think it makes him feel uncomfortable. Though he did also tell me that none of these guys just want to be friends with me... That they are wanting or expecting more, and waiting for when the time is right... He told me men are not capable of having a purely platonic friendship with a woman... But he is also alot older than me, and it just may be what he was taught in his generation... What he was familiar with. So to answer your question, yes I sense jealousy from him... but what man wouldn't be jealous when the girl he cares about, but can't have goes hangs out with other guys. Even if they are just friends. It's understandable. He has even told me that he knows it wouldn't be fair for me for him to ask me not to see anyone else... Even if he didn't want me to... He said he didn't want me to live like that. He's made it clear he is "happily" married...meaning he won't leave his family, he's satisfied where he is... I understand this... So he tells me even though he wouldn't be thrilled about it, that he has no right to keep me from dating... It would not be fair. He tells me if I choose to date someone else or go out, then not to worry... He understands... and doesn't want me to cut off the possibility of seeing other guys... He said he will step aside if he has to. I mean so he has my best interest at heart, and cares... Doesn't want me to wait around for nothing... Even though he has feelings, He'd never tell me to cut off anyone, and neither should any other man. Especially if he is married... Considering the circumstances no MM has the right to tell the OW who to see and who not to see, considering they are sleeping next to another woman every night, share a home, love, and family with her... If he has the guile to demand of you to stop seeing someone you care about... drop him... It means he is driven by jealousy, and has to consideration for your thoughts, life, and feelings... Just my honest opinion... I think you did the right thing.
zoey15 Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I'm sorry to say this, but yes you were very stupid to have cut your male friends off for a married man. Although, there is no turning back. What you can do now is track those male friends down. I'm sure they wouldn't mind hearing from you. They usually never do. You may have lost a few in the bunch to them getting involved in relationships, so don't beat yourself up over it. It happens all the time, then before you know it they're tracking you down.
TXgal Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 oh, yeah, he said he didn't sleep with her anymore so he has the same right as i do to feel uncomfortable. i cannot believe i became the girl that fell for all of his ridiculous behavior. BTW... This is one more thing you probably "fell" for. I think he is only telling you he's not sleeping with his wife, to make you feel better. I can almost guarantee you that they still do have sex... Maybe not as frequently... but a p*ssy is still a p*ssy to a man... Don't take everything he says as his word...
Author brubaker2004 Posted September 9, 2005 Author Posted September 9, 2005 you are right. i have started seeing a therapist and he says the same thing. today is my birthday and my MM sent me a text that he misses me terribly. i didn't respond. i don't even really miss him. i feel used and angry when i think about him. i know he thinks i will be there waiting with open arms if/when he gets divorced, and i used to think so, too. i just don't know anymore. the really sick thing is i feel guilty at the thought of dating anyone else. UGH!!!
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