pandap Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 Hey there!! So a lil bit of advice needed! Brief background story- I've been living in Australia the last year and had to come home last month to visit my family. While I've been home I matched with a guy on Hinge as my location was still set in Australia! ( We've never met up) Anyways, lots of chats etc moved to whatsapp where we would send lots of voice memo (baring in mind the time difference etc so usually we would rarely be online at the same time so he would reply while I would be asleep or via versa etc. This went on for about two weeks, when he would take a day to reply he would apologise as he's busy with work etc and has been touring all summer so has only just landed back in aus himself. We follow each other on Insta too etc. So basically last I heard from him was last Thursday. He's seen my msg but no reply yet. When he couldn't voice memo he would send texts etc. but still nada from him since then. one of the last few msgs was about him being keen to catch up once I'm back ( I'm back next week) our convos general chit chat etc etc. So with no reply from him since last Thursday yet he's viewing all my Insta stories and of course has been online on both insta and whatsapp. Any words of widsom? Lost interest? Should I send a double text with a meme or something funny/ how's your week going!? If I was personally avoiding someone I wouldn't be looking at their Instagram stories!!!! Advice please! Thanks so much!!!!
SteadyPace Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 From my experience if someone knows how to contact you they will if they want to. No excuses plain and simple.. There’s no need to nudge him with additional texts.
Gretchen12 Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 Texting gets old. The guy I'm texting is so boring after a while. Always asking the same questions: how was your day? Was ok in the beginning, but after awhile... Every single day the same question, day after day after day. I know he is not boring when I see him, so I don't judge him based on boring text. But once in a while I had to stop replying to the same boring stuff. 2
Zahara Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 I wouldn't text again. He seems to be very busy and distracted with everything else going on in his life. A non-response is usually a response. When someone is interested in you, trust me, they'll reach out. He probably has other women orbiting as well.
mortensorchid Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 From my experience if someone knows how to contact you they will if they want to. No excuses plain and simple.. There’s no need to nudge him with additional texts. This^. If he's interested in you, he will contact you rather than just respond when you do to him. 2
basil67 Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 You're in another country. Unless you're moving back to Aus imminently, he probably sees no point in continuing the pen pal thing you've got going on. 2
I'veseenbetterlol Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 From my experience if someone knows how to contact you they will if they want to. No excuses plain and simple.. There’s no need to nudge him with additional texts. Def have to agree here! There is no such thing as too busy, bad texter etc. If someone wants to contact you, they will. I dated a guy long distance who claimed to be a terrible texter. I observed his behavior and noticed he had his phone on him all the time and was quick to respond to friends. He just wasn't interested in messaging me back and didn't see it as important. 1
Author pandap Posted September 18, 2018 Author Posted September 18, 2018 Thanks so much for all your advice its much appreciated. I hear ya! We spend our whole lives on our phones so no one has any excuse really not to get back to someone in due course. I'll put this one to the back of the pile and see when I'm back in OZ if he reaches out. I did put up a selfie on Insta last night and he was one of the first to like it but again no msg on what app or anything like that. I suppose he is a musician so I guess that's a re flag in itself! Have any of you had any experience similar do they eventually get in touch or should i just leave this one slide. He defo seemed very interested and genuine and I think he's just after getting back into the swing of things or he defo just isn't keen it's one or the other haha
Author pandap Posted September 18, 2018 Author Posted September 18, 2018 You're in another country. Unless you're moving back to Aus imminently, he probably sees no point in continuing the pen pal thing you've got going on. A very valid point!!! Thank you for this I guess you're very right here!
Author pandap Posted September 18, 2018 Author Posted September 18, 2018 Def have to agree here! There is no such thing as too busy' date=' bad texter etc. If someone wants to contact you, they will. I dated a guy long distance who claimed to be a terrible texter. I observed his behavior and noticed he had his phone on him all the time and was quick to respond to friends. He just wasn't interested in messaging me back and didn't see it as important.[/quote'] Yeah I guess we live on our phones these days it's not hard to touch base! Especially when you see my instastories you would be somewhat reminded oh I forgot to text her back!
Author pandap Posted September 18, 2018 Author Posted September 18, 2018 This^. If he's interested in you, he will contact you rather than just respond when you do to him. Yes defo - he should be keen to touch base not just reply out of common courtesy- you're very right!!! let him come to me haha
Author pandap Posted September 18, 2018 Author Posted September 18, 2018 I wouldn't text again. He seems to be very busy and distracted with everything else going on in his life. A non-response is usually a response. When someone is interested in you, trust me, they'll reach out. He probably has other women orbiting as well. Yes I guess you just know and don't have to worry about someone being interested you just know. Men eh!!
RedHead5 Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 If you guys were having a convo and he just stopped replying, it wouldn't take that too hard. Who does the initating so far? All you or all him? Like everyone said, texting gets boring. He may just be waiting to see you when you get back. If he does a healthy bit of initiating the convos previously, I wouldn't see a problem with a quick check in. If you have been initiating them all I wouldn't do it.
kendahke Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 Do you plan on going back to Australia? How long are you going to be where you are right now? You might want to change your location on your OLD app. Most people prefer to date someone they can see on a regular basis. 1
smackie9 Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 He probably thought since you are not in Australia anymore there is no cause for investing his energy into someone he can't see. Ye have been placed on the back burner. 1
PRW Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 I don't know how this one will turn out. I can only tell you this... Next time something like this happens: Send a couple message back and forth on the first day and then say that "we should get together when I am back in the area. I'll let you know when I am back",...and leave it. If the other person messages you again don't ignore them. Reply, be friendly, but work toward keeping it short. If they keep persisting day after day then it might be an obsessive thing. Why aren't they spending their time with people they know in their area? Do they not have a social life? Do they live vicariously through their phone and social media? Politely tell them "Let's catchup when I'm back in the area" and try to cut it short. When you get back there then you decide if you want to let them know or just stay silent. Never fall in love with "words on a mobile device", anyone can say anything especially if they think they know what you want to hear. Never assume anything until you have spent time around a person looking them directly in the eye. 1
Author pandap Posted September 18, 2018 Author Posted September 18, 2018 If you guys were having a convo and he just stopped replying, it wouldn't take that too hard. Who does the initating so far? All you or all him? Like everyone said, texting gets boring. He may just be waiting to see you when you get back. If he does a healthy bit of initiating the convos previously, I wouldn't see a problem with a quick check in. If you have been initiating them all I wouldn't do it. Our convo would just flow naturally there could be a day between replies because of the time difference, but I've never really had to initiate convo as such. Yes I guess texting does get boring he seemed super keen to catch up so maybe it's more a matter of hit me up when your back sorta thing!
Author pandap Posted September 18, 2018 Author Posted September 18, 2018 I don't know how this one will turn out. I can only tell you this... Next time something like this happens: Send a couple message back and forth on the first day and then say that "we should get together when I am back in the area. I'll let you know when I am back",...and leave it. If the other person messages you again don't ignore them. Reply, be friendly, but work toward keeping it short. If they keep persisting day after day then it might be an obsessive thing. Why aren't they spending their time with people they know in their area? Do they not have a social life? Do they live vicariously through their phone and social media? Politely tell them "Let's catchup when I'm back in the area" and try to cut it short. When you get back there then you decide if you want to let them know or just stay silent. Never fall in love with "words on a mobile device", anyone can say anything especially if they think they know what you want to hear. Never assume anything until you have spent time around a person looking them directly in the eye. This is so spot on you're right! I think nowadays we build up so much from stupid texting!!
Author pandap Posted September 19, 2018 Author Posted September 19, 2018 UPDATE- SO.. I left him be haven't heard from him since last week and He's just send me a few voice memos on whatsapp after a week. I've listened to them and he's just replying to what we had left our convo off at. He apologised for this lack of contact the last week that he's been really sick and completely swamped and busy with work. he's said he can't wait to hear all about how I am in person when I'm back and catch up. I've listening to the voice memos but not replayed yet its now bedtime in OZ so no need to reply yet. So I give it a few days before I reply or should I reply tomorrow? I was due to fly out to Oz today but with a storm in the UK my flights been cancelled till' Sunday. Advice?
PRW Posted September 19, 2018 Posted September 19, 2018 He apologised for this lack of contact the last week that he's been really sick and completely swamped and busy with work. What is the truth behind these excuses when a woman says them to a guy? Advice? Until you spend a little time around him looking him in the eye and watching his body language you are not going to know anything. Just take some common sense safety measures if you meet him (public place, lot of people, don't go any place secluded, don't let him know where you live, ect.) Trust is earned.
Author pandap Posted September 20, 2018 Author Posted September 20, 2018 Another update!! So I didn't reply to those messages wen about my day etc woke up this morning to two more messages from him asking if I landed and hows my jetlag! Crazy him double texting after a week of silence. I've send a voice memo back explaining the situation! So I shall see if he gets back when he's up! 1
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