MitchConnor Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 im 27 year old male, pretty decent looking, 6'3'' UK i met a girl (polish) on tinder, we went on two dates, we talked until the pub closed each time. Only a goodbye kiss on 2nd date but it felt natural. She asked for my facebook and she friended me and we moved the conversation there, a good sign i feel. we planned a Saturday date, she canceled a day before because she said she forgot she had a plan with a coworker, she offered to reschedule to next day, we set plans. Next day a few hours before date she canceled again, she said she was on comedown of coke and felt too bad to go out, no reschedule offer. i said i had looked forward to today but oh well no worries. i do want to see her again though. what should i do?
Garcon1986 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 why are you dating a lady who need cocaine in her life mate? Give her 2-3 more chances to reschedule if you really like her and see how she reacts. If she still cancels at the last minute then she's not treating you properly like a decent woman. You don't need someone who's gonna treat you like a load o cobblers.
Syre17 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Next! 1. First time a date is broken, there won’t be another. 2. Second time a date is broken-see number 1. Forgot about plans with a co worker is a super flimsy excuse IMO. And hey, there’s 24 hours in a day last time I checked. She couldn’t keep her committment to you and carve out an hour or two?!? That aside from she’s already putting others ahead of you, not making you a priority. No thanks. I tend to be a hard ass about broken dates...but to each his or her own. I have a crazy busy career, lots of personal obligations, many responsibilities, and other committments, but I manage just fine and never break dates. It’s all doable.
mortensorchid Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 If someone told me that, I would shut the door and walk away. Know how many people I have known who have used drugs / alcohol as they have? I can't begin to count anymore. And NO ONE says when a person is using drugs / alcohol "Hasn't he/she blossomed and bloomed into a wonderful person?" The answer is no. When you're young you think that makes you cool, but it really doesn't. If you both are 27, I think you are past that teenage / early / mid twenties thing and you are more serious about yourselves. If not? Well, that's another issue. True, some things could be going on that you don't know about, but that's not what others want to see out of you.
Author MitchConnor Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 why are you dating a lady who need cocaine in her life mate? Give her 2-3 more chances to reschedule if you really like her and see how she reacts. If she still cancels at the last minute then she's not treating you properly like a decent woman. You don't need someone who's gonna treat you like a load o cobblers. cheers for reply mate. should i contact her or wait for her to contact me? this happned today she read reply but didnt reply yet
Garcon1986 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I would give her two chances to reply during this upcoming week, if she doesn't do anything or does the canceling thing at the last minute, move on to greener pastures. You can text her first. You don't know if she's a totally sloshed boozer dependent on coke. There are plenty more who will treat you as a good bloke if this one's a wanker.
Rocker71 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 cheers for reply mate. should i contact her or wait for her to contact me? this happned today she read reply but didnt reply yet If she's a cocaine user forget about her. She'll only be a headache. You have to learn how to put two and two together. It sounds to me like she flaked on you to go hang with someone who has cocaine to share...twice! I'd be done with her. But that's me.
SevenCity Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 30 years ago when I was a teen my boss told me “Women will always love their drugs more than they love you”. It’s still valid today and I refuse to date or get involved with women who do drugs. If you’re cool with it, good for you. But realize this will not end well at all. 1
preraph Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 She contacted you a few hours before the date. Seems like a few hours would be enough to sleep it off. I think the others may be right and you may have a girl here who is letting dope run her life and maybe plans around getting and doing it. One thing you know for sure is she's disorganized and unreliable, so not seeing the attraction here.
RedHead5 Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 I'd walk away from this one. If someone cancelled a 3rd date on me because of cocaine and literally told me that I would take that as a BIG red flag. 1
Poutrew Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 Cocaine, eh? Well, at least it isn't LSD or Heroin ... If you are seriously going to date a druggie, never give her the keys to your flat. You will come home one day and both your girl and your possessions will be gone.
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 She canceled your date to go out with the co-worker she forgot about. Are you sure she forgot, or did the co-worker make her a better last minute offer of the coke? Having rescheduled with you, she still engaged in behavior that would leave her incapacitated the next day, thereby ruining your date. Don't think for one minute that wasn't a choice on her part Personally I don't date druggies. However, if you want to date her understand the lack of reliability will continue. Think long term. What if you fall in love? Do you want to risk being around the kind of people who sell drugs? Do you want to risk her stealing from you if her habit gets worse? Do you want to risk having your home or your car invaded by the police searching for her drugs & then you going to jail too on a constructive possession charge? Do you want a coke head to be the mother of your kids? How could you trust her not to get high while pregnant? All in all sticking around sounds like a BAD deal.
Andy_K Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 im 27 year old male, pretty decent looking, 6'3'' UK i do want to see her again though. what should i do? She's cancelled twice. She lacks respect for you, as well as maturity. What you should do is forget about her and date someone else. If you're a decent looking 6.3" guy in mid to late twenties, you're going to have plenty of options with other girls who are just as pretty as this one but nicer people. 1
jjb117 Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 im 27 year old male, pretty decent looking, 6'3'' UK i met a girl (polish) on tinder, we went on two dates, we talked until the pub closed each time. Only a goodbye kiss on 2nd date but it felt natural. She asked for my facebook and she friended me and we moved the conversation there, a good sign i feel. we planned a Saturday date, she canceled a day before because she said she forgot she had a plan with a coworker, she offered to reschedule to next day, we set plans. Next day a few hours before date she canceled again, she said she was on comedown of coke and felt too bad to go out, no reschedule offer. i said i had looked forward to today but oh well no worries. i do want to see her again though. what should i do? She chose coke over you. You are low priority to her. It hurts to hear but she blew you off twice in a row. First time she rescheduled to be nice, second time she’s hoping you’ll get the hint. Maybe she even said it hoping it would scare you off. But either way these are signs of someone who is unsure of you. Leave
Author MitchConnor Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 i get what all of you are saying, but why would she ask for my facebook and add me after the 2nd date then pull this stunt? thats the confusing part, if this was still all on tinder id *** off but dam why ask for personal facebook, she even said on first date ''oh now youre going to be in my life you need to meet my close friends'' kinda thing. i was suppose to meet 1 of her friends on 3rd date but she canceled. such mixed signals
kendahke Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 what should i do? Unless you want to date a coker, I'd say take her cue and leave her alone.
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 She may have been high as a kite when she asked. Good decision making is not her strong suit.
central Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 ... but why would she ask for my facebook and add me after the 2nd date then pull this stunt? It's because she's a user. She uses drugs, and she will use you for her own ends as well. She says and does things to manipulate you, but her real interest is the drugs. If you're naive enough to pursue her anyway, she'll take advantage and dump you when you're no longer useful. Seriously, you're deluding yourself to think there is any real potential here. 1
RedHead5 Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 i get what all of you are saying, but why would she ask for my facebook and add me after the 2nd date then pull this stunt? thats the confusing part, if this was still all on tinder id *** off but dam why ask for personal facebook, she even said on first date ''oh now youre going to be in my life you need to meet my close friends'' kinda thing. i was suppose to meet 1 of her friends on 3rd date but she canceled. such mixed signals I stopped requesting Tinder dates on Facebook because it usually made me stop liking them. I would either see them complaining or whining or being passive aggressive, etc. and it was a complete turnoff.
Andy_K Posted September 18, 2018 Posted September 18, 2018 i get what all of you are saying, but why would she ask for my facebook and add me after the 2nd date then pull this stunt? thats the confusing part, if this was still all on tinder id *** off but dam why ask for personal facebook, she even said on first date ''oh now youre going to be in my life you need to meet my close friends'' kinda thing. i was suppose to meet 1 of her friends on 3rd date but she canceled. such mixed signals She might genuinely like you, but that still doesn't mean she has any maturity or respect for you. Many young girls, particularly pretty ones, live in their own little bubble where everything is about them. Their actions towards others are dictated entirely by how they feel at the time and not by what's right or wrong. She might well turn up next time you arrange a date. But you need to have a real hard think about what sort of person you want in your life. 1
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