So this date

September 17, 2018

Yeah , agree with some though, it was still a great effort in loosening yourself up a bit anyway so don't lose heart in that . At the end of the day it just wasn't there with the two of you , happens.

Still , seems ya got a bit of a long term dry spell goin on , should take smackie up on that offer.

Some private convo with an in there female could work wonders.

Edited September 17, 2018 by Chilli

September 17, 2018

It was the heavily edited pictures. What exactly does that mean, anyway? What did you do to them?

It probably turned her off and made you seem untrustworthy.

September 18, 2018

That seems obvious. ZA, why would you do that? You know that never works. No one likes it you did it, and then no one falls in love with you despite you don't look as good as your photos. That simply doesn't work.

That said, just sounds like you weren't her cup of tea. But please, start with honest photos!

I get terrible matches with using normal pics so this way I at least get better matches.

September 18, 2018

I'm sure I would get better matches if I uploaded pics of a younger Brad Pitt and pretended it was me. What you are doing isn't any better.

Perhaps not but if nothing else it has got me better matches. I reckon the issue here was a disconnect between text chat and face to face chat. Her body language was very open and I made sure mine was too.

At the end of the day I think dating is probably like baseball, you will swing and miss more often than hitting a home run.

September 18, 2018

Feel free to read over every other post where someone admitted to using doctored pics as you did, and take note of how things went for them. I have been coming here for years and I have not seen one person say that this tactic actually worked for them. You are knowingly misleading women into thinking something you are not because you know they won't date you otherwise. Your position is indefensible. This will lead nowhere good but I doubt you care.

You are quite correct. I don't really care. Its not like I am projecting the opposite of what I am. I am not trying to make a lemon into an apple.

The bottom line is the whole thing is superficial so why not just do what everyone else does and be superficial? It has got me matches, it got me this meet up, sure I didn't get much more but a meet up is a meet up.

Here is the thing I don't expect this tactic to work at all, all I am trying to do is meet people, try change the way I do things, change the way I present, try to become more comfortable with dating in general. I have tried to get people to help me but they aren't interested so this is the next best way in my opinion.

Do I ultimately care what these dates think, not really because from the outset all they were interested in was the superficial.

September 18, 2018

Dude, you made entire threads where you did nothing but vent about how people lie about themselves to get with someone, and here you are now, lying about your appearance in order to get with women. I don't think anyone should give you any advice here, not when you are just using it so that you can mislead women more effectively.

Well if you cant beat them then the best idea is to join them. I have probably just woken up to the idea the dating world doesn't work in the honest way I would like it to, so instead of trying to do that why not try do what everyone else does to lesser and greater degrees.

FYI I must say I sent this lady unedited pictures and she was still keen to meet me so perhaps this method isn't completely bad.

Looks are the be all and end all, so if I have to stretch the truth to get to interact with people then so be it.

September 18, 2018

My daughter got catfished the other day met a girl from tinder and it was dark in the car when the girl picked her up but when she was in the light my daughter realised it wasn't the girl in the photos at all...my daughter therefore...ended the date early....i asked my daughter why didn't she confront the girl and my daughter said she didn't want to because it would be awkward....and this was the only time my daughter didnt verify her date on snap chat.,....which she plans to verify every date from now on....

appearance is big not only because you yourself get what you see za dater (how would you feel if you didnt)...i asked my daughter did she think she was being shallow for not wanting to continue the date because of the way the girl looked.and my daughter replied "she got what she wanted she got the girl she was attracted too " and its matter of trust more so than appearance mum im not shallow".......

its a bad start.....in the future za...be yourself and the person who matches with you will be more likely to be able to trust what you say....and give you honesty and trustworthiness right back......deb

September 18, 2018

My daughter got catfished the other day met a girl from tinder and it was dark in the car when the girl picked her up but when she was in the light my daughter realised it wasn't the girl in the photos at all...my daughter therefore...ended the date early....i asked my daughter why didn't she confront the girl and my daughter said she didn't want to because it would be awkward....and this was the only time my daughter didnt verify her date on snap chat.,....which she plans to verify every date from now on....

appearance is big not only because you yourself get what you see za dater (how would you feel if you didnt)...i asked my daughter did she think she was being shallow for not wanting to continue the date because of the way the girl looked.and my daughter replied "she got what she wanted she got the girl she was attracted too " and its matter of trust more so than appearance mum im not shallow".......

its a bad start.....in the future za...be yourself and the person who matches with you will be more likely to be able to trust what you say....and give you honesty and trustworthiness right back......deb

I am not matching with people I find attractive hence the need to modify pictures. The way I see it its a loss position, I present myself I get unattractive matches, I present something different and I get better matches with ironically better looking more interesting people. If they completely write me off on looks alone then who has really lost, me of them?

For once with this I actually can choose which is rather nice as opposed to trying to pretend to like matches I really don't like at all.

September 18, 2018

You are quite correct. I don't really care. Its not like I am projecting the opposite of what I am. I am not trying to make a lemon into an apple.

The bottom line is the whole thing is superficial so why not just do what everyone else does and be superficial? It has got me matches, it got me this meet up, sure I didn't get much more but a meet up is a meet up.

Here is the thing I don't expect this tactic to work at all, all I am trying to do is meet people, try change the way I do things, change the way I present, try to become more comfortable with dating in general. I have tried to get people to help me but they aren't interested so this is the next best way in my opinion.

Do I ultimately care what these dates think, not really because from the outset all they were interested in was the superficial.

Dude you need to reexamine your motives. Dating in the beginning is superficially instinctual. We all try to get the very best.

In my 20's I could date just about any man I wanted. Almost. For me, at that time, the field was unlimited. If I was single now the field would be limited. I know that. For you, right now, the field is limited. And by you putting on a mask and trying to open that field up isn't going to help you.

Do you want a woman to look at you and feel massively disappointed that you're not as cute as your picture?

I would be angry. If you showed up on a date with me not looking like your picture that date would be cut short. Very short. And, I'd be hostile and would make it unpleasant for you. It would bring out the worst in me.

Change your game plan.

September 18, 2018

Dude you need to reexamine your motives. Dating in the beginning is superficially instinctual. We all try to get the very best.

In my 20's I could date just about any man I wanted. Almost. For me, at that time, the field was unlimited. If I was single now the field would be limited. I know that. For you, right now, the field is limited. And by you putting on a mask and trying to open that field up isn't going to help you.

Do you want a woman to look at you and feel massively disappointed that you're not as cute as your picture?

I would be angry. If you showed up on a date with me not looking like your picture that date would be cut short. Very short. And, I'd be hostile and would make it unpleasant for you. It would bring out the worst in me.

Change your game plan.

And I'd turn around and accuse you of being completely superficial. I am not interested in my limited market and well if I meet up with people who aren't interested, who cares, at least I am not meeting up with people who don't interest me.

Mostly all my prior dating experiences have been incredibly disappointing, this one was not, why simply because I liked the person to begin with rather than told myself "she might be better in person". I actually enjoyed this date which is not something I can often say.

Once again I not expecting anything out of this at all. Just merely meeting people and probably justifying my lack of success down to how I look. Its much easier to know a problem than to spend years looking for it. And yes if anyone wants to be friends with me, well that's nice too.

September 18, 2018

And yes if anyone wants to be friends with me, well that's nice too.

Why anyone who dates you, would want to be friends with you when you are so obviously dishonest from the get go is beyond me.

September 18, 2018

Why anyone who dates you, would want to be friends with you when you are so obviously dishonest from the get go is beyond me.

Seeing almost all of dating is to lesser or greater degrees built upon playing with the truth and interpretation thereof I don't really see an issue.

People here keep telling me to do something differently and I do and well there is still an issue. Tough crowd clearly.

September 18, 2018

Seeing almost all of dating is to lesser or greater degrees built upon playing with the truth and interpretation thereof I don't really see an issue.

People here keep telling me to do something differently and I do and well there is still an issue. Tough crowd clearly.

I've never lied in dating, misrepresented myself, played with the truth or exaggerated things, and I've done very well in dating and marriage.

If you think being creepy is going to charm women, you would do well to think again.

September 18, 2018

I've never lied in dating, misrepresented myself, played with the truth or exaggerated things, and I've done very well in dating and marriage.

If you think being creepy is going to charm women, you would do well to think again.

Lucky for you, not everyone is fortunate to be so lucky.

September 18, 2018

Lucky for you, not everyone is fortunate to be so lucky.

No luck at all, not being a creep has terrific mileage.

September 18, 2018

I am not matching with people I find attractive hence the need to modify pictures. The way I see it its a loss position, I present myself I get unattractive matches, I present something different and I get better matches with ironically better looking more interesting people. If they completely write me off on looks alone then who has really lost, me of them?

For once with this I actually can choose which is rather nice as opposed to trying to pretend to like matches I really don't like at all.

So, let me get this straight, you are butthurt because you think that all women care about is physical attractiveness. But you pass on women you don't deem attractive enough for you all the time.

Pot, meet kettle.

September 18, 2018

So, let me get this straight, you are butthurt because you think that all women care about is physical attractiveness. But you pass on women you don't deem attractive enough for you all the time.

Pot, meet kettle.

No I will be blunt and risk the ban that comes with it. All I match with are obese ladies, I have no interest in obese people. I myself work out and can be described as slim.

Edit pictures and suddenly I am getting more the slim/curvy people matching with me rather than people I really have no interest in. I am judged on looks so I don't see why I shouldn't apply that exact same criteria.

September 18, 2018

I tried a lot of new out of comfort zone things on this date, partly because why not and partly because if I don't try I don't know.

The match up probably would not have been good but it had more potential than any recent date I can think of.

And I suppose with this method I know rejection is coming so I can throw everything at it and not have to worry about the end result.

I have learnt I have pretty much zero appeal, either I like that bother me to the extent of not going on dates or I do this and go on dates and at least feel like I am making some sort of attempt.

At least then when everyone else is talking about their recent dates I can add something.

September 18, 2018

No, she said she is not what YOU are looking for. I'm assuming she wouldn't have gone on the date with you if she realized that based on your profile, so I'm wondering what about your conversation led her to that conclusion. What did you tell her, directly or indirectly, about what you were looking for?

She probably meant she’s not someone who can overlook his looks and his lack of honesty.

September 18, 2018

Seeing almost all of dating is to lesser or greater degrees built upon playing with the truth and interpretation thereof I don't really see an

People here keep telling me to do something differently and I do and well there is still an issue. Tough crowd clearly.

This attitude is what’s holding you back. This reeks of negativity, no one wants that. Dating is not about playing with the truth.

September 18, 2018

This attitude is what’s holding you back. This reeks of negativity, no one wants that. Dating is not about playing with the truth.

I disagree its seemingly about finding someone you find attractive who finds you attractive, except it isn't. Its about making yourself attractive to someone else and then keeping up a charade of sorts or if you don't do that, bending over backwards making someone else like you. Sorry but all the relationships of people I know seem to operate along these lines to lesser and greater degrees.

For years I went for personality but that's impossible to find, completely and utterly impossible. So now I have decided I'll go for exclusively looks because...personality is impossible to find.

September 18, 2018

How exactly are the pictures edited/doctored?

September 18, 2018

Maybe I spoke too soon in my earlier post on page #2. I thought you were on your way to turning over a new leaf but this thread has now seemingly taken a turn back to the not-so-good old days. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the doctored photos remark.

Meanwhile @clia asked a great question--so how are the photos doctored/editted However it is it cannot be good.

I disagree its seemingly about finding someone you find attractive who finds you attractive, except it isn't. Its about making yourself attractive to someone else and then keeping up a charade of sorts or if you don't do that, bending over backwards making someone else like you. Sorry but all the relationships of people I know seem to operate along these lines to lesser and greater degrees.

For years I went for personality but that's impossible to find, completely and utterly impossible. So now I have decided I'll go for exclusively looks because...personality is impossible to find.

Well but this isn't true, and even if it were, the so-called charade you speak of--the charade from your doctored pictures--is over by the very beginning of the first date when she sees what you really look like

Your insistence on doctoring photos is a horrible strategy. All you did RE the women who wouldn't be attracted to your actual looks is waste everyone's time. They find out the very first instant of your date that you don't look like your pictures and they aren't attracted to your real looks. So you lose with them. And as far as the women who *would* be attracted to your actual looks but who had to go by a fake photo of you--you are starting your first date off with a lie. And that is a deal-breaker for many people. So you lose with them too.

Meanwhile as a more general comment on charades, most people can tell when someone is trying hard to be someone that they just aren't. At the end of the day we all have our strengths and our basic personality types. You are an introverted intellectual. You can try to find ways to use this to your advantage and find a better medium for you than Tinder (I keep saying this over and over and over...) and you can also work on being less uptight, less judgemental, and keep on working on your flirting/banter skills. But you cannot try to give the impression that you are the life of the party, because it just won't work. The other person will see right through it right away, and someone who *could be* attracted to who you really are, just won't have the chance to as you are pretending to be someone else.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Imajerk17

September 18, 2018

I get terrible matches with using normal pics so this way I at least get better matches.

Well, I could put up a photo that I looked like Angelina Jolie, but no one is going to agree to a second date once they see what I look like and know I'm a liar! Use your head! No one is going to overlook that and you are setting yourself up to really get told off one of these days. This isn't a game. Getting better matches based on a fake photo only helps you if all you want is to chat with people on OLD but never meet them in person. Because they're going to run once they see you aren't who your picture looks like.

I am not superficial, but if I was in my 20s or 30s and dating on OLD, I'd sit outside the meetup place and see if the person looked like their photo, and if no such person entered the establishment, I would put the pedal to the metal and get on out of there and block them for lying like a sociopath and wasting my time.

You think it's okay for you to lie to get more attractive matches, but you're hypocritical because you think they're superficial if they don't like you even if you lie and look worse than your fake photos.

Edited September 18, 2018 by preraph

September 18, 2018

I disagree its seemingly about finding someone you find attractive who finds you attractive, except it isn't. Its about making yourself attractive to someone else and then keeping up a charade of sorts or if you don't do that, bending over backwards making someone else like you. Sorry but all the relationships of people I know seem to operate along these lines to lesser and greater degrees.

For years I went for personality but that's impossible to find, completely and utterly impossible. So now I have decided I'll go for exclusively looks because...personality is impossible to find.

Not even close man... Most People, believe it or not, are trying to find a compatible life partner with whom to share their life with. Attraction is definitely part of the initial equation; but it’s much more than that.

If this thread is a representation of who you are; your personality is the issue. Not your sex appeal. Not your flirting. Not your OLD pictures. But your attitude and values. These opinions are so alien to me that I’ll have to ask if you are on the autism spectrum?

Sign In

So this date

Recommended Posts

Chilli

CautiouslyOptimistic

ZA Dater

ZA Dater

ZA Dater

ZA Dater

todreaminblue

ZA Dater

brigit87

ZA Dater

5x5

ZA Dater

5x5

ZA Dater

5x5

CautiouslyOptimistic

ZA Dater

ZA Dater

JuneL

MaleIntuition

ZA Dater

clia

Imajerk17

preraph

MaleIntuition

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...