fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Me and my ex girlfriend have been broken up for almost 7 months. We were in a long distance relationship for a year and a half. We were madly in love with each other. We broke up because of some misunderstanding. After we talked about it, she didn’t wanna get back together because she was lying to me. She admitted the truth after a couple of months. So she just made me feel guilty and horrible for months just to find out that she’s been lying and that was the main reason she didn’t wanna get back together. Anyways, after she admitted the truth, we tried to get back together but it didn’t work because she didn’t want to. She said she doesn’t feel towards what she used to anymore because of all the arguments we had after the break up and me not letting it go. She wanted to be friends but that didn’t really work either, we had a couple of arguments so she stopped texting me, started ignoring me and ghosted me for almost a month. So after she started ignoring me, I tried to text her and make it work but she didn’t reply to any of my texts so I gave up, sent her a goodbye text and stopped texting her. A month later, she texted me saying she wants to be friends but she ignored me afterwards. I sent her a text saying what she did was mean so she replied after that. She was being so dry with me so I asked her why she is being like that but she never replied. I sent her like two texts after it but she never responded. What should I do? I still deeply love her and care about her :/ I don’t know what to do. I sent her flowers on her birthday and she said that was sweet but we didn’t really talk after that. Why would she come back if she didn’t care about me anymore? Please help me. I’ve been depressed since we broke up and I haven’t been ok since then.
Chassit Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Stop contacting her and move on. If there is any hope of reconciliation it will have to come from her. She has said you contacted her too many times, so contacting her more would be counter productive. Move on and work on yourself. She may come around. But then again she may not. It is out of your hands.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I'm sorry OP, but it's over. She has said it in so many ways, with both her words and her silences. It's time to start working on acceptance so you can move on.
Chassit Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I miss her so much... :/ I miss my "her" a ton too...
Author fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 Thanks for your help man :/ I’m just confused like why would she come back just to leave again.. she keeps tucking me up over and over again. I thought she cared that’s why she came back but she was being so dry and stuff :/ it made me feels so unwanted
Author fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 I miss her and it’s killing me
Author fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 I'm sorry OP, but it's over. She has said it in so many ways, with both her words and her silences. It's time to start working on acceptance so you can move on. Thanks for your help man :/ I’m just confused like why would she come back just to leave again.. she keeps fk’ing me up over and over again. I thought she cared that’s why she came back but she was being so dry and stuff :/ it made me feels so unwanted
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Since this is long distance, these things fritter out because it's just too difficult not being together physically. She came back out of weakness/loneliness, then told herself no must stick with the plan to move on. She was just fighting the urges...in her heart it's for the best. 1
Author fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 I miss my "her" a ton too... yeah man I feel you :/ it’s so hard missing someone who probably doesn’t even think about you/care about you anymore
ExpatInItaly Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Thanks for your help man :/ I’m just confused like why would she come back just to leave again.. she keeps fk’ing me up over and over again. I thought she cared that’s why she came back but she was being so dry and stuff :/ it made me feels so unwanted That's what break-ups are about, sadly. It's hard, but it is true that she no longer wants this. That is why she was dry and distant. Dumpers generally don't want their exes anymore. But that doesn't mean someone else won't. You're looking for love from the wrong person, now. What was the misunderstanding that ultimately ended the relationship? And what had she been lying about? P.S.: You're talking to a woman here.
Author fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 Since this is long distance, these things fritter out because it's just too difficult not being together physically. She came back out of weakness/loneliness, then told herself no must stick with the plan to move on. She was just fighting the urges...in her heart it's for the best. Wait so does that mean that she still loves me or cares about me? And what am I supposed to do? I really love her and I would do anything for her...
Author fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 That's what break-ups are about, sadly. It's hard, but it is true that she no longer wants this. That is why she was dry and distant. Dumpers generally don't want their exes anymore. But that doesn't mean someone else won't. You're looking for love from the wrong person, now. What was the misunderstanding that ultimately ended the relationship? And what had she been lying about? P.S.: You're talking to a woman here. Sometimes she acts like she cares and others like she doesn’t. I don’t know what to do but I really love her and care about her. I would do anything for her :/ I don’t want to post everything in details about our break up on the internet, perhaps I could dm you privately? I really need an advice and it’s even better since you are a woman
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 She's at a point where she knows regardless of her feelings for you, she doesn't want it anymore. There isn't anything you can do, she has made her decision to move on, she's was just having trouble doing it. You cannot force or make anyone want to be with you. I know you are desperate but it's better to let go....if she comes back then it was meant to be.
Author fkl0ve Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 She's at a point where she knows regardless of her feelings for you, she doesn't want it anymore. There isn't anything you can do, she has made her decision to move on, she's was just having trouble doing it. You cannot force or make anyone want to be with you. I know you are desperate but it's better to let go....if she comes back then it was meant to be. But why wouldn’t she want to be with me if she still has feelings for me.. I stopped texting her when she started ignoring me again but I miss he rick if I should text her again
Marc878 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Currently you are projecting your feelings onto her. Typical mistake. She doesn't feel that way about you. Wake up to reality go no contact and quit living on hopium. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Sometimes she acts like she cares and others like she doesn’t. I don’t know what to do but I really love her and care about her. I would do anything for her :/ I don’t want to post everything in details about our break up on the internet, perhaps I could dm you privately? I really need an advice and it’s even better since you are a woman When was the last time she really acted like she cared, though? As I understand, she's been acting disinterested more often than not, for quite a while. You need to realize that her silence is a very clear message that it is over, my friend. (Also - As you're a new member, you can't yet use the private message function)
SteadyPace Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 She's at a point where she knows regardless of her feelings for you, she doesn't want it anymore. There isn't anything you can do, she has made her decision to move on, she's was just having trouble doing it. You cannot force or make anyone want to be with you. I know you are desperate but it's better to let go....if she comes back then it was meant to be. Good advice..
Author fkl0ve Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 My ex girlfriend said that she wants to be friends but doesn't make any effort to do so, even though I try. Should I go down this path because I miss her and want her to talk?
carhill Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 OP, people are interchangeable. Sucks but that's how life works. Some lubricate it with BS. As time goes by you get better at detecting BS. Think of this as one lesson at relationship U. There will be many, many others, if you're lucky and live a long life. I remember the 'friends' BS in MC. I was pretty nice otherwise but called that bullshyte out for what it was, crap-talk. She figured I'd roll over on a better settlement with some lubrication. Bzt, had my fill of women at that point.
jjb117 Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 My ex girlfriend said that she wants to be friends but doesn't make any effort to do so, even though I try. Should I go down this path because I miss her and want her to talk? Is this still fresh out of the relationship? If so, be honest with yourself and realize you can’t. It’s a consolation prize. You can’t have her as a gf but she can have you as a buddy. Makes it seem like in her mind, she was good enough to be your friend, and that dissolves any guilt she had (because if she was a ****ty person, you wouldn’t be her friend) Plus I might add - why would you be friends with someone you have never been friends with before? You dated romantically. You never saw her as a friend, but always as your lover, your gf. So no man, and you know it in your heart your not ready. She clearly doesn’t mean she wants to be friends, she just doesn’t want you hating on her. See, if this was a year later or so, I can rationalize. If you can be friends with her, by all means do it. But it doesn’t seem like this is the case. Forget the BS dude. Tell her you can’t be friends because you have never seen her that way, so it’s hard to transition into that. Wish her Well but say you must keep moving forward with your life. And then bam, that’s it. It’ll sting, but it’s all part of the process my man.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 No. OP, based on your other threads, she doesn't really want to stay in touch with you and has barely interacted with you for months. An offer to be friends is usually just to placate a dumpee rather than a genuine desire to maintain a friendship. You have to let go of her.
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