Versacehottie Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 Hey sorry for any confusion. We had sex quite a lot yes, so I don't think he is gay he could be bisexual maybe. Should I tell him I am done? Why am I so terrified of not having him in my life? Because you don't know your other options yet. Get out there and explore them and I'm pretty sure you will feel better/less scared altogether. Good luck
Author Lovehel Posted October 6, 2018 Author Posted October 6, 2018 I am 25, he is 27. I was seeing this guy for 2 months it felt amazing spending time with him, we just clicked, I was completely comfortable around him and was starting to develop quite strong feelings for him. I was getting a lot of mixed feelings for example, one time he looks me deep in the eye and tells me I" feel something, do you?" He was always caressing me, very affectionate etc...yet also told me how logical he is and isn't sure where he is going in life. I eventually asked him a few days ago where this was going, he told me that he cares about me a lot and thinks I am worth it but he can't give me back the same feelings. At that point I knew I had to stop seeing him and having sex because I was going to get extremely hurt and get closer and closer while he didn't. I have been very down about it, because I feel we could have something great, but he isn't willing to give it a go. He wasn't willing to have more than a fun casual arrangement. I haven't seen him since this. Anyway about a week ago he has asked me to be good friends with him. I have no idea what to do. I like him a lot, so much that I was falling for him. Everytime he was off work for the past 2 months he used to spend it with me. He doesn't anymore but asked to hang out next week. I asked him how is this going to work if he's physically attracted to me, and he in a light joking way said not to touch him. This makes me think he is just stringing me along as a "friend" incase he ever changes his mind about me? Or to potentially get sex because we were never friends. I know he doesn't see me as a friend, and I don't see him as a friend. I sent this to him in the end of Deliberating: "Hey, I know that you want to be friends with me and keep your options open with other females but it is not going to work for me. I won't play that. I can't see you right now, so won't be meeting you next week." He responds: " other females ". hahah I'm fine Laura. I don't need anyone. I just want to be nice with you, always. I responded:"you have to get your sexual needs met somewhere. Me too in an ideal world that is what I want to be nice... But it is complicated" He hasn't responded to that after a day so think it's best to leave it? He clearly doesn't care. And it is causing me great sadness because I thought we had something special, and now I feel rejected and stupid. Should I make the choice now to stop contacting him for good, it's not good enough really, is it? It's devastating to me, but he can't treat me right?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 This is the same guy, correct? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/664581-guy-i-have-been-seeing-messing-me-around-updated Yes, it's beyond time to cut ties. You feel things for him that he just doesn't for you. Being friends and hanging out is pointless, seeing as how you want more and he does not. He's sniffing around because he believes you'll give in and be his fall-back girl when he wants attention and sex. Stop making yourself an option to him, starting today.
OnlyHonesty Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 The guy is emotionally unavailable hence the mixed signals. However, you are infatuated and find his mixed signals and unavailability to increase your attraction. If you don't cut ties, things will stay the same.
coolheadal Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 (edited) I am 25, he is 27. I was seeing this guy for 2 months it felt amazing spending time with him, we just clicked, I was completely comfortable around him and was starting to develop quite strong feelings for him. I was getting a lot of mixed feelings for example, one time he looks me deep in the eye and tells me I" feel something, do you?" He was always caressing me, very affectionate etc...yet also told me how logical he is and isn't sure where he is going in life. <SNIP> Oh boy.. See what he said he doesn't care. Don't bother with him. He's acting like JERK, you don't deserve that sort of guy. I know you want to be him but he's 27 and he's not ready for anything serious. That's the issue. You are but not him. Can't be friends with a JERK I told you prior a player. Nothing can be done. Can't change his mind. Even if one of us here where to confront him he won't listen. He would just laugh and go on his merry way. You have fun with him but now it's time to go. Edited October 6, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
coolheadal Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 Oh my we have two threads on the same subject now.. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/666247-time-stop-contacting-guy-i-have-strong-feelings-good
stillafool Posted October 6, 2018 Posted October 6, 2018 So now if a guy is honest about not wanting anything serious he is automatically a jerk. Wow. 1
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