green07 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I’m in a situation with these two girls… I don’t know which one to pursue. The first girl is a good friend of mine who I’ve known since high school (I’m at university). She often flirts and has told me directly she is interested in me, but the thing is I’m not sure how I feel about her. Although, she’s extremely pretty and genuinely a lovely girl, I haven’t really thought about dating her. Also, another reason why I’m unsure is because I’m pretty sure she has a boyfriend. Though, I’ve been told she is single from her and my mates, her status and posts on her social media accounts tells me a different story. The second girl however is someone I’m really interested in and I honestly think she is the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. I’ve known her for about a year, but I’ve only properly been talking to her for the last couple of months. The problem with this girl is her interest level. Initially there was a lot of interest from her which was the reason I asked for her number. She gave me her number without any reluctance and told me she was keen to go on a date to get to know each other. Although at first it was going really well, over the last few weeks however, it has seemed her interest has dropped, as she’s become distant. So, now I’m unsure what to do. Should I concentrate on the girl who I’m not sure about but is very interested in me or should I be persistent with the girl I’m very interested in who has become recently distant. At the moment I’m stuck in two minds. My friends tell me to date the first girl, whereas I’m leaning more towards the second girl. What’s the best option?
FMW Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I don't see why you can't do both - you don't have any agreements to be monogamous with either of them yet. Go out with both if you have the opportunity and then you'll have more information to make a decision later it needed.
ericw899 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I’m in a situation with these two girls… I don’t know which one to pursue. The first girl is a good friend of mine who I’ve known since high school (I’m at university). She often flirts and has told me directly she is interested in me, but the thing is I’m not sure how I feel about her. Although, she’s extremely pretty and genuinely a lovely girl, I haven’t really thought about dating her. Also, another reason why I’m unsure is because I’m pretty sure she has a boyfriend. Though, I’ve been told she is single from her and my mates, her status and posts on her social media accounts tells me a different story. The second girl however is someone I’m really interested in and I honestly think she is the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. I’ve known her for about a year, but I’ve only properly been talking to her for the last couple of months. The problem with this girl is her interest level. Initially there was a lot of interest from her which was the reason I asked for her number. She gave me her number without any reluctance and told me she was keen to go on a date to get to know each other. Although at first it was going really well, over the last few weeks however, it has seemed her interest has dropped, as she’s become distant. So, now I’m unsure what to do. Should I concentrate on the girl who I’m not sure about but is very interested in me or should I be persistent with the girl I’m very interested in who has become recently distant. At the moment I’m stuck in two minds. My friends tell me to date the first girl, whereas I’m leaning more towards the second girl. What’s the best option? Pursue the second one for as long as you can with reason. You obviously are more interested in her, and she at least has shown interest in the past which is a good start. You have been friends with the first one for a while, so I'm sure you would have made a move if you really wanted too. Don't date her just to settle and say you have a girl.
maxi105 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 green07. my first thought is i wonder whether either of these girls are really right for you. the first one you are not sure about and in places it kinda sounds like you would be dating her because you don't have anyone else and want or need to be seen to be with someone socially or emotionally (and if that's part of it it is probably likely that it would actually fail if you get with either of these girls)...if you are not already with girl 2 (I couldn't tell if youre with her now and she's bored, or you'd like to be with her and she isn't as interested as you are in her). I also think that instead of running to friends to find out about girl 1, talk to her and ask her if she is single. not being able to talk to her is telling me you don't feel that secure and are lacking in part in emotional maturity on that front.i cant help thinking you are being lead by feeling flattered by girl 1 rather than really knowing and thinking I like her and I know she likes me!!!!that's not a solid reason or wise one to be with girl one. I think you could end up hurting girl 1in the end which isn't that fair on her if these are the reasons behind your possibly asking her or either of them out. especially girl one if youre not that into her!!!!!!! she is worth more and will probably get hurt why not let her meet someone who is sure they want her and can focus on her and treat her well; not treat her like the second best!!!! this is about involving your emotions and thoughts with real people with real feelings, not just about your ego or being unsure or needing to be with someone in a desperate way. if girl 1 wants to be with you regardless of how you could end up treating her or getting it wrong and calling it off and doesn't mind all of that because she is needy a bit immature too and desperate; then you might have a chance, but I wouldn't bother with girl one if I were in your situation. she is a nice person, so unless you really are serious in wanting to be with her then don't even go there. she clearly is showing signs that she likes you and no one wants to feel used or hurt just because someone doesn't really know what they want! or are waiting till something better turns up!!!!! girl 2, you like her and she is pretty, but you also know that she isn't that into you, so why or how can you be sure you have a realistic chance with her... she was possibly interested, but she has probably seen through more of who you are or she has stopped to think if its what she really wants and im not sure she would make you really happy if she gave you another chance to impress her. just because some gal is pretty, don't mean you're gonna end up with her!!!! she has a mind too and will have feelings that will matter to her about what she wants or doesn't want in a guy or gal to be with. being pretty or handsome isn't always enough to secure a relationship with anyone just on that thing alone and it certainly doesn't meant that she should want you because you like her or start to feel lust for her based on her looks or physical appearance!!!! (and yes that's the same for girls into guys and same sex situations etc...unrequited love or lust if that's all you got in a relationship will burn out real quick...fun sure (the lust thing)...but its shallow and if the connection isn't strong or you don't have stuff in common or can talk then someone will get bored real quick....don't be fooled by the im a guy thing and she's pretty so I got options and I can just have her like that because I like her...it don't work that way for most folks and certainly not if you don't know how to treat others with respect and truth of what is going on and what your heart and theirs want. playing 2 girls off to see what might happen and dating them both isn't about respecting yourself or them and if you get into that you might get more than you bargained for and it could affect more than your life in later years just out of stupidity, ego, lust or arrogance. ironically, I think that girl 2 for you, is what girl 1 deep down means to you right now!!!!!! (not a lot) and something to pass the time with if you get her, something that will boost your ego but also something that is not that committed or bothered or a worthwhile relationship. if girl 2 hooks up with you I can imagine her getting pretty bored pretty quickly and wanting someone better looking (or at least noticing and fancying or lusting after someone who she just clicks with and is better suited for or can keep her interested without having to even try!!!!), and I think even though you write like you are the one in has the options, getting rejected by girl 2 will hurt you if you get too into her and she's not bothered she just uses you because she needs someone to avoid being alone!!!! I think you should wait and you will meet someone that you are more suited to and they feel that same attraction in a more natural way back, towards you. don't even think of trying to date them both!!!!!! ...I don't really think that you are that dumb anyway, from reading your post. and besides, what kind of person does that make you if you have to do things in a sly, arrogant and self serving way like that, not only that, from what I see in your post, you don't even have that guaranteed option to date them both as girl 2 isn't that bothered with you anyway or anymore; and with the other girl there is still a question of uncertainty about her attached or not status. anyone that values their partner, love and what it means to the person they are with or knows what real love is or looks to relationships with any kind of maturity knows the heartache and pain that can get involved in it all, they also know or will soon get to know what being used or made a fool of and how that leaves people feeling when they get caught cheating or are dumped when someone has lead them on to think that they care or love them when they are not really interested, so they don't go there. you sound like a decent person, and if you want a chance for real love then you have to deal with things in a realistic, fair and honest way. if it were me, id keep your friendship with girl 1 unless your feelings become genuine and 100% SURE, and forget girl 2, "unless" things properly develop ...although I don't think girl 2 will ask or want you for anything more emotionally serious if she is already drifting from you. she sounds like she has actually thought about things more, she sounds more mature than you are in terms of emotions and relationships and she sounds like she has or is considering keeping her options or certainly or her interests wider in case someone more compatible comes along. who knows? like you, she may want someone better looking than she finds you and might be wondering if you are worth her time as she is growing more unsure or knows perhaps that she's not interested...see: you like her, but it doesn't feel so good when its you facing emotions because of other people....and if you are not careful, you could end up mistreating girl 1 if you get with her and don't really feel it for her. college is a common place to meet (or at least be very tempted visually by good looking guys and gals; parties, frats, intimate studying etc...I think she likes you as a person but isn't that bothered now. so I think you should find someone new or at least have the maturity to talk to girl 2 (as I think she is the one you really want) and find out what is going on. does she like you and could she work at being with you properly? but be prepared to get rejected or hurt by what she really feels about you. my heart tells me you and her aren't good together. sorry if its not what you wanted to hear. but good luck with what happens when it happens. but whatever that is in must be right for you and the feelings must genuinely be returned. its an honest reply. you sound like a pretty decent, honest guy, so don't be a jerk with either of these girls. do the right thing by your heart and what you know is right in treating them means, and if it is not realistic for you (or them) or you know you don't feel it with girl 1, don't get into games or macho stuff, it will backfire and make you look like a total******* to these girls, your friends and the rest of the people at your the campus. you'll meet the right one im sure.:)maxi.
d0nnivain Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Pursue the 2nd girl. Her interest level dropped because you haven't made a move.
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