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Last Straw..


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Posted (edited)

If you read this novel thank you so much. I matched with a guy on Tinder in January. Our convo there was great! He then asked me for my snapchat. When we first matched I was home from college but I then went back to college. We still kept in touch. We both like the same things and he’s very cute. I’m 22 and he’s 26.

 

He is always very persistent with replying to my snapchat stories. He’s also very flirty. He seems to be very open about himself. He said he’s a nerd. We are both into fitness. I thought he was cute and his persistence made him stand out from other guys on tinder. My snapchats are funny and he’s says I’m so cute. Although he’s like: I love you and marry me. I always joke with him when he says that. He seems very honest and he hangs out with his family on the weekends, they are local. We’ve planned to meet activity wise when I’m back home and he said he’s excited. This was back in May.

 

When I came home from college he asked if we will hang out I said I’m not sure what my schedule is like in he summer but I will let you know when I’m free. So when I was free, I would say hey would you like to hang out Saturday? He would be like sorry my family is having a bbq but he can hang out at night. Other times he’s asked me out sorta last minute but I’ve told him I’m busy. We still talked on snapchat. When I would ask him out he was busy and when he would ask me out kinda last minute i’d say sorry because ew no booty calls.

 

Just a couple weeks ago he gave me his number I think finally because he said something along the lines of: “it sounds like you could use me in your life” I responded with “where do I sign up?” So I texted him telling him hey it’s me and I joked with him. We had casual conversation then he asked: so when are we going on a date? I said hmm I’m free Saturday he said: hmm that might be a huge possibility I asked OK what about a definite one because he’s canceled before by saying he might be available. He replied with well my friend whose mom just died will be in town so I can’t make that promise. I said ok I understand. I don’t want to flip out on him because we’re trying to make this work, a step further with him giving me his number. He apologized and said he does want to actually meet me face to face.

 

So I asked him ok do you want to plan later like timewise and he said we should plan it closer. if it’s too cold for mini golf and we can find something else to do I said OK that sounds good he responds back with you sound good! I said hahaha because it was funny he just threw it back. He replied wait why did you laugh lol and I said oh sorry I’m literally like half asleep right now and he says awww that’s cute!! I didn’t read his message until the next day afternoon because I was busy but I haven’t heard from him since. What do I do? We planned for next Saturday and if he’s busy this weekend should I contact him Sunday or just wait for him to ask because I want to know if this is serious. He texts back so freakin fast too not sure out of desperation like he seems decent and I don’t want to talk bad about him but he’s been so persistent not neccesarily creepy but he’s defintely interested.

Edited by Eel751
Posted

Serious men ask women on dates in advance & work with them to nail down a concrete date, place & time. Either this guy can't plan his way out of a paper bag or he just doesn't care enough to try. It sounds to me like he can't commit to anything more then a few hours in advance. If you are OK with always being last minute, carry on. If you want something else either try to nail him down -- which is going to be about as easy as nailing jello to a tree -- or walk away.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

You matched with him in January. You planned to meet in May when you were back home. It's already September and you both still haven't met. I'd toss this out. When a man wants to meet you, he's going to make plans and set dates. He seems very wishy washy -- a lot of talk and no action. Don't do anything. You offered Saturday so let him reach out and nail down a date/confirmation.

 

Also, "he seems very honest" -- don't make these types of determinations with someone you've only been dealing with over Snapchat. He's still a stranger to you and you know nothing about him except the persona he relays to you over a phone.

Edited by Zahara
  • Like 2
Posted

This guy is totally playing games with you and seems to have no real interest in meeting you. This is just plain silly. All those “cute” words and flirty behavior mean absolutely zilch. Guys who are genuinely interested in a girl arrange to meet them in person ASAP.

 

This guy already has a gf/wife and/or is playing you for a fool. If he actually follows through with seeing you this weekend, I’ll be shocked and eat my words.

Posted

OP you'll be posting in April, 2019 about how you love this guy but you both still haven't met. this is waste of time, energy and resources

  • Like 2
Posted

There's no reason he can't schedule a set time and if it's raining then scrap mini golf and sit in a cosy cafe. He either sucks at organising himself or he is dodgy. I admire you're patience, personally I would have given up long ago.

Posted

He's a time waster...there are many on those sites...educate yourself, and know if you come across a person that doesn't ask you out for a date within a few messages...they are not really all that interested...so no need to invest your energy over someone like that.

Posted
Serious men ask women on dates in advance & work with them to nail down a concrete date, place & time. Either this guy can't plan his way out of a paper bag or he just doesn't care enough to try. It sounds to me like he can't commit to anything more then a few hours in advance. If you are OK with always being last minute, carry on. If you want something else either try to nail him down -- which is going to be about as easy as nailing jello to a tree -- or walk away.

 

This is very true! A man who wants to be w/a woman will have action backing up their words. Talk is easy, much harder to plan dates. He doesn't respect your time and I wouldn't bother w/a guy who wants you to go out w/him at a moments notice.

  • Author
Posted

Ok I have to make it clear, I was away at school for 5 months. When we would try planning it wouldn’t work. Once my grandma died, another time he had to house sit his sister’s dog, another time he had a wedding and a baby shower. It was a little weird he indirectly invited me to the baby shower. He did go to these events. He also goes to work, visits his grandma and goes to the gym. Not sure what his problem is. I might intimidate him but I’m 22 he’s 26! I’m disappointed like we planned what we would do and he was sweet about it. I wanted an older guy, a MAN but unfortunately it sounds like he’s just a boy. It sucks. He’s going to have to step it up or be let go ?. Like I thought older men don’t play games. I was wrong..

Posted
?. Like I thought older men don’t play games. I was wrong..

 

older guys are the best game players because they have had experience

  • Like 1
Posted
Like I thought older men don’t play games. I was wrong..

 

26 year old men are 'older men' now? Sheesh.

  • Like 2
Posted
Ok I have to make it clear, I was away at school for 5 months. When we would try planning it wouldn’t work. Once my grandma died, another time he had to house sit his sister’s dog, another time he had a wedding and a baby shower. It was a little weird he indirectly invited me to the baby shower. He did go to these events. He also goes to work, visits his grandma and goes to the gym. Not sure what his problem is. I might intimidate him but I’m 22 he’s 26! I’m disappointed like we planned what we would do and he was sweet about it. I wanted an older guy, a MAN but unfortunately it sounds like he’s just a boy. It sucks. He’s going to have to step it up or be let go ?. Like I thought older men don’t play games. I was wrong..

 

My dear, let me tell you...as much as people deny playing games, they almost all always do, at least to some extent. I’m 48, and primarily date women 40-50, though there have been a few in their early 30’s. Most all of them played games

on or at some level as unfortunate as that is. I always laugh when I see a woman’s profile that says “no games” or “not into games.” These are usually the biggest game players. As the saying goes...why keep going to an empty well!?!?

Posted
Ok I have to make it clear, I was away at school for 5 months. When we would try planning it wouldn’t work. Once my grandma died, another time he had to house sit his sister’s dog, another time he had a wedding and a baby shower. It was a little weird he indirectly invited me to the baby shower. He did go to these events. He also goes to work, visits his grandma and goes to the gym. Not sure what his problem is. I might intimidate him but I’m 22 he’s 26! I’m disappointed like we planned what we would do and he was sweet about it. I wanted an older guy, a MAN but unfortunately it sounds like he’s just a boy. It sucks. He’s going to have to step it up or be let go . Like I thought older men don’t play games. I was wrong..

 

26 is an older man? Besides, game players come in all ages. I’ve met men in their 40s and 50s with the same level of emotional immaturity.

Posted

You are sure working pretty hard to meet a guy who has little or no interest in you. How much more time do you plan on wasting on him?

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