Am I oversensitive? Or my wife too harsh? (sorry for length, I am a details guy)

[BettyDraper]

Thinking back on it. I can see how my original message could be taken to say that the OP should be a push-over, a door mat, and just let her walk all over him. That is not my intention. But I believe he needs to be somewhat impervious to the rage of her "fits" for the time being to be able to get to the bottom of what is bothering her.

 

 

Now once past the problems, then yes, the husband, without being a push-over, doormat, etc., is supposed to be the wife's refuge. He should be the "safe place" that she can come to with what's bothering her without her being berated of judged for it. In fact I believe the husband failing to be these things for her can cause the problems that are being seen.

 

 

Anyway, I guess it just shows that things can be complicated to figure out sometimes.

 

I like the idea of the husband being the port in an emotional storm but women are also responsible for managing our emotions in a constructive manner.

[PRW]

I like the idea of the husband being the port in an emotional storm but women are also responsible for managing our emotions in a constructive manner.

 

Clearly you should be my next date.

 

But I don't believe in throwing moral judgements at a woman in the midst of having emotional issues that may or may not be caused by someone else. Solve the problems first. The rest may take care of itself. It would be like spanking a kid for making a mess on the floor because he threw up while being sick. When he is no longer sick he won't be throwing up on the floor.

[BettyDraper]

Clearly you should be my next date.

 

But I don't believe in throwing moral judgements at a woman in the midst of having emotional issues that may or may not be caused by someone else. Solve the problems first. The rest may take care of itself. It would be like spanking a kid for making a mess on the floor because he threw up while being sick. When he is no longer sick he won't be throwing up on the floor.

 

What a lovely compliment!

 

I know what you mean. I used to scream at my husband out of frustration. He had a habit of breaking promises by taking months or years to complete tasks. He was also what he calls “difficult”. I shouted to be heard since polite communication was not effective. My husband stoically tolerated my rages because he believed that he brought them on. He changed his behaviour once I asked him to leave because I was tired of his procrastination and selfishness.

 

I don’t yell anymore. There’s no reason to.