After a 10 year relationship, and 2 years later I met someone but I don’t know...

[grokcahsevol]

I will try not to make this too long and forgive me in advance for any typos, on mobile.

 

This site helped me a lot after my 10 year breakup and was hoping to get some advice from here as well on another topic.

 

First all, I’m in a location in which the population is 30k (mostly being retires) however my family is all from here so I’m here for a bit.

 

Most girls here always go out in groups, even if one doesn’t go out then they all don’t go out.

 

So I met this girl as we have mutual friends here. Prior to me coming we chatted on messenger for a bit and things seemed to be going well. Their were even some light sexual talk.

 

The first time we met when I came we were all drinking at a village party and when trying to dance with her she said “don’t touch me, I need my personal space” fine, so I went off and did my own thing.

 

The next night, we meet again and she comes up to me and says “I hope I’m more fun this time” and I said “let’s find out” attempted to dance and she wasn’t for it. She then said “I know everyone here” and I said who cares have some fun. (Mind you, everyone knows each other here and loves to talk, many girls here are also afraid of failed relationships)

 

We chatted a bit and there was it.

 

A few days go by and I didn’t message or talk

To her cause I felt like she wasn’t into me but at the same events her sister was telling me things like “looks like I’ll be your sister in lw in no time” and “you should drive your own car, it’s eaiser to get laid”

 

Anyway, after a few days of not talking she messages me at 1am and said “heyyyy, why are you up?” I said “am I not suppose to be?” And followed by “I’m working” and she said “hah workkkk” that was that.

 

Fee more days go by in which I didn’t messaage her and she saw my IG story and prob saw I was with some other girl. She messaged me on there and say looks nice. I then said “it is, are you busy Thursday night?” She said “no plans why” I said “let’s grab drinks at bar at 7” her: it seems like you have other girls you can take, do whatever you want” me:so bad at 7 Thursday? Her: sounds good

 

The day comes and she asked me “can the crew come?” And I said let’s go just you and I for an hour then will meet up with them. She did no. I said : then maybe I’ll see you around take care. Her: mhmmm you can just can’t use me whenever you want” her: Jokingggg”

 

Another few days go by and one evening she said “where are you?” I was with other friends at this point and told her to come join, but it was very hard to meet as she was with other friends as well and the toking was just bad. We didn’t get too meet.

 

At this point I kinda just said f*ck it and started to look for other women. However every few days she reaches out to me on Instagram when she sees my story and will say something like “fancy” or “you didn’t bring me with you ;(“

 

So 2 days ago she said something and I just said “tomorrow I’m going to a rooftop pool if you want to join I’m going around 1” she said “ok good, I’ll let you know” she never did let me know.

 

At this point I can’t tell if she’s nervous and uses IG to rekindle conversations, not interested (but she reaches out to me every few days) or is playing hard to get.

 

For context, she’s 24, I’m 29.

 

Now, here’s my problem. As I mentioned, I was in a 10

Year relationship. Since then I’ve slept and dates a few people but never felt anything. After dating a few girls and my 10 year relationship, I was finally able to sit back and literally write down a list of things I look for in a girl.

 

The first thing was she has to be from the same island as I am from and even narrowed it down to specific villages. Other items on the list were bone structure, eye color, skin color, profession, etc.

 

This girl literally hits every item on my list, and although we have only

Hung out 3-4 time )another time we hung out, we were in backseat of car and she seemed very comfortable with our skin touching, I should have made a move and I ****ed up)

 

I’m at a point in which (I hate to say it) but I’m slowly falling for a girl who may not even be interested in me.

 

I’ve always had a “if you don’t try, you’ll never know mentality “ and this is one of those situations in which I will regret .

 

I don’t want to come off needy, but what are my best options right now? I was thinking of telling her “if I haven’t made it clear enough to you, my intentions aren’t to be just friends and hoping for something more with you” either way, I rather get a “no, I’m not into you like that” than never knowing.

 

The group she hangs out with also has another mutual

Friend of mine who I was gonna ask “hey, I really like girl, if you guys go out, could you let me know so I can get to know her more”

 

Edit: forgot to mention, not sure if it matters. I said something to her once and she said “thanks for raising my self esteem”

 

Loveshack, help!

Edited September 14, 2018 by grokcahsevol

[smackie9]

I'm the kind of person who, dated those who treat me the way I want to be treated. That includes reciprocation, easy of communication, no head games, easy going. Just because she looks good on paper doesn't mean it's gonna be the right choice. You have to go by behavior and interaction as well. So far she's been confusing, and not responsive as someone who is truly interested and trusts you. She's got some big issues. Don't let the check marks distort you vision.