What do you do when 2 people in a relationship have COMPLETELY different sex drives??

[baltimoregirl42]

What do you do when you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have completely different ideas of what "enough sex" is?

 

I am a 24 yr old woman, in a relationship with a 26 yr old guy for almost a year now. While I would be happiest having sex every day, he seems very content with just doing it once a week/week and a half. Heck, I'd be happy having it every other day at least. And I'd say that about 75% of the time we DO have sex, I initiate it. I'm getting very frustrated and lately find myself feeling undesirable and fantasizing about other men, and even women sometimes.

 

I'm attractive, 5'7, 125 lbs, very fit, and fun to be around (I have been told). I have been in other relationships where the guy couldn't keep his hands off me, and I LOVED IT. I want to be ravaged, seduced, be told by my boyfriend that he "has to have me this second". In a nutshell, I want to feel sexually alive again.

 

When we do have sex (and when he DOES initiate it) foreplay usually lasts about 10 minutes tops consisting mostly of me going down on him. I have found it difficult to "finish" because I feel like most of the time it's a chore for him. Plus, ASKING for sex from my own boyfriend makes me feel pathetic.

 

I've tried to talk to him about it but I usually get responses like, "What about that one time that I started it in the........." or "I'm tired, we can do it tomorrow". Telling him flat out: "Honey, I'm really horny" doesn't seem to do much good either. I've given up on hinting.

 

We have a pretty good relationship otherwise, and I don't want to break-up with my boyfriend of a year because I'm not getting it often enough. It just seems like a silly reason. However, I'm getting fed up, feeling unattractive, and find myself feeling guilty for fantasizing about other people.

 

How do two people work around this problem/fix it? Or is it just one of those things that happens that makes two people not compatible? Has anyone else experienced this?

[Blackfrost]

Show him you mean business whether he wants to participate or not. Get a vibrator, and start using it at night, while he's trying to go to sleep. He'll get the hint real quick, that he's not meeting your expectations or needs.

 

Any man who can resist wanting to leap naked onto his girlfirend while she services herself, is dead below the waist.

[laRubiaBonita]

i would Hope since you have this somewhat serious, and intimate relationship with this man, that you two could come to some sort of compremise and that you could tell him what you really feel, and not hear the excuses............... maybe even suggest role playing.....he may be so ashamed he wants you to be someone else....That he will try his damnest to put Only thoughts of his sexxxxy arss in your head.....whilst give Him head, no less.

[Art_Critic]

whilst give Him head, no less.

 

I like the way you think .. Would you like to be the chamber maid and me the cable repairman ?

 

Being a beautiful Blonde LB how about being a cheerleader and I'll be the quarterback

[laRubiaBonita]

I like the way you think .. Would you like to be the chamber maid and me the cable repairman ?

 

Being a beautiful Blonde LB how about being a cheerleader and I'll be the quarterback

you can be the tight end....i will drive the play!