kscholze Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 she breaks the NC about every month. I always get those feelings back that I love her and want to be with her and I always tell her. The last time she broke the NC was about a week ago. she is with someone else but she told me that maybe she made a bad decision. I told her that she needs to make a decision and stop stringing me along. So she told me she is happy with him (her ex that almost killed her drunk driving) Will she call again in a month or 2 or does she mean it this time. (she fell in love before I did and I think she resents that. we were together for 6 months 3 very good months). Someone please respond and give me an opinion.
sundrop Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Well as one good wise LS person once told me..... She will string you along as long as she can if you let her, and that is what you are doing. She's not going to make a decision if you keep flip floping. As long as she knows you are still in love with her and will keep waiting for her than she has nothing to lose. Actions speak louder than words. I can tell you I love you all day long, but until I start showing you this, It's just that words. She's not acting like she loves you if she is off galavanting around with someone else. You have to make up your mind what you deserve and stick to it, as hard as it maybe and if you have a hard time not telling her you love her everythime she calls, than don't answer the phone. She wont make up her mind knowing you are waiting on her. She will just keep walking all over you, stringing you along. I don't mean to sound harsh, so please don't take it that way. I'm learning all this myself too.....I finally had to do the not calling and not waiting etc...because I got tired of being strung along, my ex expected me to be there and I'm not now he is realizing this and changing his tune, but she will not change her tune until you change yours...
Author kscholze Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 Has she already made up her mind? She told me her mind is made up, but she also said that last time and then she called a month later. I did get the feeling that she meant it this time. (BTW she does this in a text msg) She is back with her ex too, what does that mean. Is your ex with someone else too? Does he contact you still? How long has it taken for him to realize? You are very helpfull sundrop
bendit Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Never contact her again. Delete all her messages delete the IM contact delete her phone number and don't read her messages. She used you and is still using you solely for ego gratification. She gets off on having TWO men who she knows are stuck on her. Perhaps she has more than that. She doesn't care for you in the least and is simply using you as her SUPPLY to fill up an emptyness she has. Contacting her again will set you back and only give her satisfaction. regards mike
sundrop Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Has she already made up her mind? She told me her mind is made up, but she also said that last time and then she called a month later. I did get the feeling that she meant it this time. (BTW she does this in a text msg) She is back with her ex too, what does that mean. Is your ex with someone else too? Does he contact you still? How long has it taken for him to realize? You are very helpfull sundrop Unfortunatly I'm not sure what she has made up in her mind. I would just look at her actions, if hs eis with her boyfriend now, than I would try to move on. My ex and I have very limited contact. I broke up with him, because we were in a three yr relationship and I wanted more at some point and he couldnt give me that. We communicate by text message some and have talked on the phone twice in the last two months. We have been broken up for 2 months.... But last year we broke up and it was his call, I kept begging for him to take me back for a month or two and he just kept strings me along, finally when I quit begging and started getting on with my life he came around. This time I have tried to do things differently and am standing my ground, I haven't begged, he knows how I feel about him and if he chooses to he will sep up to the plate. He called my friend on Monday just to check on me and tell her a few things. So I think if you do things differently and move on (which I think you need to do for yourself) maybe she will start to look at things differently. But right now as long as she has a boyfriend, I think it best for you to walk away with your head high, knowing you did what you could do and be proud of that. Everybody always thinks of the good ones that got away at some point.
Author kscholze Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 we broke up three months ago she said it was because she had to many burdens in her life that she didn't want to involve me in. But she calls about evey month to see if I am still waiting. I told myself it was over when I found she was back with her ex. I mean she must have been planning that the whole time we were together. How can someone love you so much and then just stop. She always said I was her angel. I just keep thinking whe will come back. But she will have to really show me that she loves me. I am afraid that she will wait for it not to work with him. They were so off and on and thats why I expect it in another month
sundrop Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Sounds like to me she is playing both of you. You dont deserve to be played with like a yo-yo. And that is what she is doing. You dont need that, you need someone who knows what she wants. You deserve that, we all do, and as long as you sit around and wait for tis other chick to make up her mind you maybe missing out on something great. I have been told that people can since when you are emotionally unavailable, and as we hang on to hope of our ex's we are just that, unavailable. Stop beating yourself up over the what if's. Because you will never get all the answers that you want. And what if you did, what if she was totally honest with you and she had been planning this the whole time, would it really change anything? Stop letting her string you along. Because if you don't, you will still be posting on this thread next year and have 1000 replies.
Author kscholze Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 you are right. She told me it was over because I was pressuring her. She doesn't want to decide. It wouldn't make it any different if she was planning it the whole time, but it would prove to me that she didn't love me thats what I want to here, and thats what she wont tell me
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Posted September 8, 2005 You advice has helped, and I have one more question. I pushed her to make a decision and she left. she came back and I pushed her again and she ended it. She was back with her ex and telling me she loved me and didnt know what she wanted. was it right for me to push? Was it right for her to tell me she loved me knowing she wasnt ready to be with me? Should i not have pushed?
notsignedin Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 No you shouldn't have pushed. I know in my past once I pushed and pushed and he ended it. If you push someone into a corner usually they come out swinging and that is what she had done. No, It's not right or fair to you for her to tell you she loves you when she is with someone else. Just leave her be, give her space, don't smother her. If she truely loves you then at some point she may come back, but right now don't expect her to. She is just stringing you along. It's not fair nor right but she is trying.
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