Snotty Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 So... we recently broke up... her doing. We went on a small vacation last month. She owes me money from that. I sent her a text asking when i would see my money, and no response. I have some of her things. How long is an acceptable time frame to sell these To recoup my loss? Im thinking 6 months.
clia Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Six months is way too long. As long as you give her proper notice and let her know your plan, you don't need to wait that long. Text her she has 30 days to get her items or you will consider them abandoned and will dispose of them as you wish. If she doesn't respond, send her a reminder text each week stating the same thing (21 days, 14 days, 7 days). If she never responds, then do what you want with them. I'm guessing she won't respond. You are under no obligation to hold onto her items indefinitely.
Gaeta Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Depends how much money she owes you. If she owes you in thousands of dollars then go the legal route. If she only owes you a couple of hundreds consider it your loss and move on. I would not go through the aggravation of keeping in touch with an ex just cause he owes me $100 or $200. When you date someone and you're willing to advance some cash to them considering gone. What are those things of hers you have in your possession? If it's anything sentimental like a jewelry, a watch, she may have gotten as a gift you be the bigger person and send it back to her. You're frustrated she owes you money but you're not a monster to sell a watch she may have received as a gift from someone important. 1
Author Snotty Posted September 11, 2018 Author Posted September 11, 2018 Nothing of ‘personal’ value. Just riding gear, helmet, chaps, couple coats. Its a little over $200. I sent her a text. Im not going to send anymore. Just want to know ehat is a legitimste time frame. I dont want backlash ftom this
smackie9 Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 (edited) Cut your loses and move on. You ain't gonna see one red cent of it. There's craigslist, use that to sell off her crap to recoup some of the money. If you are worried about backlash, she has I believe 30 days to get her stuff but check on that with your local laws. The problem is, you can't hold her stuff ransom until she pays. You need written proof she owes you the money or it won't hold up in court. Edited September 11, 2018 by smackie9 1
smackie9 Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Text or email the leaver and give them a deadline to come pick up their stuff. Say they have 60 days. It might seem like a lot, but it gives you an edge if things need to be settled in court down the line. Save a screenshot of the text being delivered.If they don’t respond, call them. If they don’t answer, leave a message. Save a screenshot of the interaction in your recent calls list.If they don’t pick up their stuff or respond to you in 30 days, write them a written letter and send it to their current address via certified mail. Remind them they have 30 days to pick up their items in the letter. They’ll have to acknowledge they received it because it’s certified mail. If they don’t come to pick up their stuff after 60 days, and haven’t reached out to you with a good reason as to why, you can consider the property abandoned. In that case, you may dispose of it as you see fit. If they do decide they want to take you to court for throwing away their crap, you should now have plenty of evidence in your favor and things probably won’t get very far. 1
ExtraSpice Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 I got out of a relationship once (my doing), the person owed me more than $2000. I never saw that money again and I didn't have anything to sell either. Lesson learnt there lol Smackie9's advice is pretty on point. I would just follow that. I am assuming you can wait to recoup the $200 after 60 days without any major hardships.
littleblackheart Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 I don't know where you live, but where I am you can't dispose of or sell stuff that don't belong to you without the owner's consent, no matter what they owe you. There is no timeframe for them to come collect their stuff - this is what I've been told by the police. Can you get in touch with her and tell her if she doesn't pay what she owes by a (reasonable) deadline of choice, you will flog her things on ebay (or wherever); if she doesn't reply by the deadline, you have implicit consent to do what you want with them.
Art_Critic Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 put it in a closet, out of sight out of mind and forget about the money unless she offers to pay it... 1
kendahke Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Depending upon the amount and how important it is to you, you can take her to small claims court to get your money back. Hopefully, you have receipts for everything. Did she know she was paying her way on this trip, or did it become "you owe me" after you two broke up? Put her stuff in a box and take it to her home and put it on her front porch. Keeping it is you trying to machine a way to see her again when that's not necessary.
LifeBeginsAt40 Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 As per a previous poster, you need to be a bit careful with this. Where I am (UK), you cannot dispose of or sell a tenant / other half's property without being held liable for them for damages: https://www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/my-tenant-has-left-some-items-behind-after-the-end-of-their-tenure The posted article above spells out how to go about things from a UK perspective. For the sake of $200 however, I would just chalk it down to bad luck and move on with my life. I would likely just dump it on her doorstep with a note saying here are your things, have a good life or similar. Maybe take a photo of this incase someone steals it all before she comes back. Even if they do, she is unlikely to be bothered about persuing it through courts etc. Times would have to be pretty rough for me to consider wasting my time over $200. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Read up on something called Adverse Possession of Chattels. When you understand that concept in your state & what you have to do to prove she abandoned the property then you can sell her stuff but not before. If you sell it or otherwise dispose of it before you legally establish adverse possession you can be criminally charged with wrongful conversion.
basil67 Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 At the time when you were on holiday, what terms did you make for repayment of the money she owes? And are we talking small stuff like her share of petrol money or does she owe you 50% of a resort and flights? Also, why didn't she pay what she owed at the time? Would you still be wanting the money back if you were still together? It's all relevant. 1
Happy Lemming Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Send her stuff back to her C.O.D. $200 + shipping costs. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Whenever these things come up on Judge Judy, she settles it immediately by asking when the "deal " was made were they sharing a bed? If the answer is yes, then it wasn't a loan and forget about getting it back... Just let it go.....As for her stuff, if you care enough drop it off at a UPS depot and move on with your life.. TFY 1
Happy Lemming Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Whenever these things come up on Judge Judy, she settles it immediately by asking when the "deal " was made were they sharing a bed? If the answer is yes, then it wasn't a loan and forget about getting it back... I'd like to disagree with your "Judge Judy" statement... This kind of reminds me about a time when I loaned a girlfriend money to take her cat to the vet. Apparently, she owed previous money to the vet and they would only see the cat, if she brought in $100. So I loaned it to her. She told me that she'd pay me back her next paycheck. Several paychecks went by, along with several excuses... Finally she said "Well, I'm sleeping with you, so I'm not paying you back..." to which I responded... "That makes you a prostitute and me a 'John'... no thank you" and I broke up with her. She had no integrity and I didn't want to be associated with a person that thought in those terms. Man or woman - your word is your bond. If the agreement was for her to pay part of the vacation, she should pay!! Just my opinion, based on my own experience. 1
coolheadal Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 So... we recently broke up... her doing. We went on a small vacation last month. She owes me money from that. I sent her a text asking when i would see my money, and no response. I have some of her things. How long is an acceptable time frame to sell these To recoup my loss? Im thinking 6 months. Not going to get it back unless you have receipts and she had signed to the fact she would pay you back. If she didn't do this, you can't take her to Small Claims Court. I had this happen to me in 2015. At the end when she had invited me back into her house. One day I had enough took everything that wasn't nailed down that I put into the house with my own money. I'll never get back the money spent on her but I ended up getting some back through other means. Just have to know what your limits are and what you spend. This woman I was with I got her a iRobot Scomba That's not cheap it cost like $699 back then. I made sure that left with me. She gone off the wall but I had the receipts for it. All she wanted back was that iRobot nothing else. Goes to show you what she really wanted out of that relationship with me.
basil67 Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 I'd like to disagree with your "Judge Judy" statement... This kind of reminds me about a time when I loaned a girlfriend money to take her cat to the vet. Apparently, she owed previous money to the vet and they would only see the cat, if she brought in $100. So I loaned it to her. She told me that she'd pay me back her next paycheck. Judge Judy would find in your favour. She's more about writing off the loan if you there was no agreement to pay it back...basically, if it was gifted because she's your girlfriend. Damn, I watch too much daytime TV... 2
thefooloftheyear Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Judge Judy would find in your favour. She's more about writing off the loan if you there was no agreement to pay it back...basically, if it was gifted because she's your girlfriend. Damn, I watch too much daytime TV... Exactly... People have a tendency to "flip the script" when things don't go their way...Like someone will offer to take someone else they are dating on a cruise, say nothing of any "terms", yet when they break up ....then it was meant to be paid back.... TFY 1
basil67 Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Exactly... People have a tendency to "flip the script" when things don't go their way...Like someone will offer to take someone else they are dating on a cruise, say nothing of any "terms", yet when they break up ....then it was meant to be paid back.... TFY Yep. Cue the LS question: my ex owes me money, how do I get it back?
littleblackheart Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Yep. Cue the LS question: my ex owes me money, how do I get it back? I kind of just read it literally and thought the OP was more about what to do with her stuff - or is this one of those reading between the lines situations ?
Standard-Fare Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 1. Unless you're broke and truly need that $200, just take it as a loss and move on. Yes, it sucks, but it's not worth sustaining the contact and conflict. 2. Are you really actually interested in selling her stuff... going on websites to get rid of her riding gear and a couple coats? Just be sure to check yourself on your true intentions there. Make sure you're not pestering her on it for the pure sake of bitterness or drama, or as a means of prolonging contact. She knows you have this stuff, and if it's important to her it's her responsibility to arrange for getting it back. Beyond reminding her about it (which you've already done), you should let it be. After a couple months, if you're still interested in selling it, go for it, or if not just donate it somewhere—whatever's easiest for you.
Radarsat Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Text or email the leaver and give them a deadline to come pick up their stuff. Say they have 60 days. It might seem like a lot, but it gives you an edge if things need to be settled in court down the line. Save a screenshot of the text being delivered.If they don’t respond, call them. If they don’t answer, leave a message. Save a screenshot of the interaction in your recent calls list.If they don’t pick up their stuff or respond to you in 30 days, write them a written letter and send it to their current address via certified mail. Remind them they have 30 days to pick up their items in the letter. They’ll have to acknowledge they received it because it’s certified mail. If they don’t come to pick up their stuff after 60 days, and haven’t reached out to you with a good reason as to why, you can consider the property abandoned. In that case, you may dispose of it as you see fit. If they do decide they want to take you to court for throwing away their crap, you should now have plenty of evidence in your favor and things probably won’t get very far. I agree with smackie9 in suggesting a written, certified mail letter. But I also think to be safe, just check with your local authorities or find a legal aid office and get some advice. You certainly shouldn't have to hold on to her items indefinitely. But just be careful and check in with your local state/province laws to be certain on the rules in place. I'm sorry you're going through this crap. Good luck.
JuneL Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 I wanted to echo the couple of posters who suspected your ex might think of the small trip as a gift. It’s also likely she wrote off those items she left at your place as loss; those items don’t seem to have much personal and monetary value anyway. Don’t be petty 1
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 If you date someone and they don't have money to go on a trip then you don't travel, end of it. Especially if it's someone you've known only a short time. You took a chance and she is not paying you back, this one is on you and no one else. Swallow your pill and file it in Lessons Learn. Return her Items. Be the bigger person. 3
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