Vesna Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 I have posted numerous times about my brother's offensive behaviour but the last contact we had was FERAL! Firstly, I bought him a book about Balkan wars for his 50th and I thought that would be the end of him talking about it with me all the time. I am not interested in our heritage at all. It has ramped up his enthusiasm and it bores me almost to death. On top of it, he digresses and speaks in hyperlinks and being a good listener, I have to help him backtrack to the topic. I am left exhausted! He has discovered the toxicity of our mother and won't stop talking about revenge. The problem is that the closer we have become as a result of this, the more I see our mother in him. He talks about morons and idiots. People who are insular and stupid. People who can't pronounce certain words or don't want to learn new things. I know that much of this is a PA way of telling me that I am an uneducated loser. I can't talk about anything unless I assess what his response will be. It's like walking through a minefield. If only I can pick a topic which won't go directly to his interests and make him talk about them. In the car, driving through the city to drop me off at the tx, he started yelling at me and telling me to never, ever compare him to our mother. I broke down and cried as he laughed at me. That made me cry more. He called a week later to chat. No apology, just a comment about how messed up that incident was. He also said that his children won't thank me for gifts unless I give them personally. I am not allowed to talk about my cancer recover as he said it is 'unhelpful and unhealthy'. Well, **** him. He also said that when I stayed at his place last year, he saw me in the shower and said that I am turning out like our mother. I am deflecting all contact until I know what or what not to do about this. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 I am deflecting all contact until I know what or what not to do about this. I think this is a great idea. You guys need a break from each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 Not a good combination. He’s a jerk, to put it plainly, and you’re not someone to let his comments just roll off you. I have a similarly opinionated and insensitive relative, I just mentally put him on “ignore”. I’d see him only at the occasional family event.... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 I haven't spoken to my sister in 20+ years... My sister insulted me one too many times, so I cut her out of my life. Just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to communicate with them or be in their lives. I didn't need to be insulted and neither do you! Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 There are people types in this world it's neither good or healthy to interact with. As unfortunate as it is family members can be those type. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 My son has nothing to do with his father or his father's sister or his father's mother for similar reasons. He still maintains a good relationship with his father's father and some of his cousins. Sometimes you do have to cut family members out for your own sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 "He also said that when I stayed at his place last year, he saw me in the shower and said that I am turning out like our mother." He is one sick bastard. Cut him off. Completely. I can only imagine the damage he's done to your self esteem. He's sick, warped. Plenty of people cut off immediate family members; do it now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vesna Posted September 12, 2018 Author Share Posted September 12, 2018 OK. It wasn't difficult to cut our mother out. The last ten years of tx have helped me to stay away and to learn the signs of a N jerk. I forgot to mention that he talked about her being 'dispatched'. He tried to kill her when he was 16 and I fear he is entertaining the idea of 'finishing the job'. He told me that our mother just lies there on the couch all day, connected to a CPAP machine. He said he is tempted to pull the plug on the machine, wait for her last breath and then plug the machine back in and call the medics. He can do what he likes. If anything, he will beg her for reconciliation on account of the inheritance he is expecting from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 All the more reason you should maintain maximum distance between yourself and them... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vesna Posted September 12, 2018 Author Share Posted September 12, 2018 To be sure. I want to live! Link to post Share on other sites
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