Linda_411 Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 One day while we were downstairs in the basement, I came across some pictures of his ex. Afterwards I questioned him, wondering why he still has them(We were dating for about 3 months), and he said he put them done there because he didn't want me to find them in his room. Then I told him to get rid of them, and he said that he didn't want to get rid of his past. He said his ex made him burn every single picture of his other Ex;s and has absolutely no pictures of his past teen years. So now he has these pictures hidden somewhere. Is that weird? Can you give me some advice with this issue? Should I be concerned with him, or should I just let it be? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 let it go. There are mementos that each of us have from our pasts, stuff we don't want to get rid of even if we don't find them particularly useful. fighting over old pictures of them together is fruitless -- he's with you, not her, and at some point he may feel compelled to dump the old photos simply because they're not important. But for now, I think he may be hanging on to them because of what the ex forced him to do with other photos in the past, nothing more. However, he may be stubborn about the issue if you argue it to death -- I don't think any of us enjoy being told what to do! this is not one of those issues worth arguing over, in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 Did you destroy pictures of your past? I try to keep 1 or 2 special pictures of people or places that define a segment of my life. I was once brutally dumped by a girl....it hurt. But she was a source of much comfort and affection before that. In the end she hurt me and I no longer have any love or lust for her, but the pictures remind me of a happy time. Make new pictures of you and BF. He'll keep those too. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 Leave it alone, leave him alone, keep your insecurities to yourself. You have no right to ask your bf to get rid of pictures of his ex. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 ....and has absolutely no pictures of his past teen years. I think that is really sad. So now he has these pictures hidden somewhere. Is that weird? Is what weird? That he has the pictures or that he's hidden them? Whatever - neither is weird. If anything you should be flattered, he hid them out of respect for your feelings. Can you give me some advice with this issue? Should I be concerned with him, or should I just let it be? Why should he destroy mementos of his past to placate your insecurity? If he was sleeping with them under his pillow or had them framed & on display everywhere that would be a different story. Let it be. Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 It's ok, its his PAST. My ex made me get rid of all my pictures of not only my ex-bfs but also any other GUYS I had in my photo album, he also burned my diary b/c it had details about past relationships & I regret it SO much. Now as your bf states I have no pictures to remind me of my past. (One of the pictures he made me get rid of was of a friend that was killed now I have no pictures of him to remember him by) And now I hate him for making me do that & hate myself for letting him treat me like that. My husband has pictures of his exs still and I have pictures of my exes. (the ones after the evil ex) So just drop it, its not a big deal. Would you want to get rid of all your pictures of your exes?? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 This has turned into the chorus from a Beatles song Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linda_411 Posted September 7, 2005 Author Share Posted September 7, 2005 Well the reason is because his ex stalked me. Thats' why I wanted the pictures to be getting rid of. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 Well the reason is because his ex stalked me. Thats' why I wanted the pictures to be getting rid of. How did she stalk you? Did you call the police? If not why not? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 Is that weird? No it isn't .. In fact in is weird to make him throw them out.. You cannot erase his past. They are only pictures.. I know I have almost all of the pictures of old girlfriends that I've ever had.. They are stored in boxes in the basement. I've never looked at them but they are there as a record of my past. If a girlfriend ever asked me to throw them out I would refuse.. They are my memories not hers Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 It's best to let it go, even if you have reasons to not like this person. I have some of an old boyfriend and I from years ago with my friends at Lollapalooza and I don't feel like tossing away mementos of good times. View it as his personal memories and not an affront to you, because it is not. Most people do have pictures of an ex around in boxes or drawers. If a guy has a huge framed enlarged photo of an ex hanging above his bed, then it would be strange. . . Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 huge framed enlarged photo of an ex hanging above his bed, then it would be strange. . . I'm not Tommy Lee, but I have a picture of his ex hanging over my bed. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 if it hurts you then i think you should speak to him about it.tell him why it bothers you.i dont think you should tell him to get rid of them but if shes not that important to him whys he hiding them?maybe he hasnt fully gotten over her yet.but thats where you come in.show him how much fun you can be and how your relationship is great and i doubt that he'll even want to keep them. Link to post Share on other sites
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