N Sufjan Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 Hello, Long story short: I met a girl 9 months ago online. we set up a date and had a good time knowing each other. We have been busy during the next months... there were some periods we didn't talk for days, she initiate conversations sometimes and i do the same sometimes. These previous weeks, we have been talking very regulary on a daily basis and i felt that some sort of connection was growing. I asked her for a 2nd date and we had great time. we went to a spanish restaurant and we had few drinks. i dropped her off. ( I regret not pushing myself to initiate some touches since i liked her ) it seems for me that she was enjoying the 4 hours we spent at the restaurant. i'll give more details now: 1- I dropped her off. 2- I went back home. 3- I slept 4- the next morning, i wrote her: Me: Hello hon, well arrived home ? when's your appointment ( she had some appointment with her doctor in her hometown ) She: Hello, not arrived in my hometown yet, i'm at the doctor. well arrived yesterday? Me: Yes, i thought your doctor was here and not in your hometown. She: No, in my hometown, pay attention to what i said ( laugh emoji ) Me: I forgot, i woke up tired.. She: Yes, it's clear ( laugh emoji ) later in the afternoon: Me: How was the dental scalling ? happy with the result? you already have a beautiful smile. She: Thank you. she started with a decay cleaning. dental scalling is for the end. At this point, i had the impression that the conversation was going boring and not interesting, i started to make some question in my mind and disappeared for 24hours now... Do you think that it's a good idea to freeze out contact to observe her interest? should i initiate some morning texting tmw and ask for a 3rd date ? am i too worried for nothing ? What would be the next good move to bring her back ? Thank you
MidwestUSA Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Bring her back? She's not exactly gone just yet. But maybe her mouth isn't feeling all that great. At least she's sending smiley emojis. If you want gauge to her interest, then go ahead and ask her out again. When you say you have been "talking" regularly, do you mean actual talking on the phone, or texting? Texting is tedious, boring, and not a good way to get to know someone. The only way to advance things is to see her in person. If she's interested, she won't hesitate. It's been months; make a move!
d0nnivain Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 No I don't think playing games & ignoring her will improve things. In 9 months you have gone on two dates & had a conversation about her dental work. I fail to see the romance. If you like the woman see her on a regular basis -- two or more times per week. If this is an LDR -- meaning you live more than 4 hours apart, that does change things. Communication & spending time together advances a romance, not ignoring somebody or freezing them out as you say. You seem to be trying to implement some version of make the woman chase you. While it's fine to be reserved you have already taken it too far. Given the snails pace at which you have been moving, if you stop talking to her she will conclude you are not interested & move on because really your lack of communication now can't really be distinguished from the limited attention you have paid her thus far. If you like her initiate more not less.
mortensorchid Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Sounds like you like her somewhat, but you need to initiate more if she's not responding with things other than chatty things about how her day is going and dental work. Say something like "I'd like to see you again, what's a good day for you?" because otherwise you will just have chit chat for a few days of texting and then it will taper off eventually. And you'll be sitting there wondering why she isn't responding or regretting not taking a chance.
shellybing Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Hello, Long story short: I met a girl 9 months ago online. we set up a date and had a good time knowing each other. We have been busy during the next months... there were some periods we didn't talk for days, she initiate conversations sometimes and i do the same sometimes. These previous weeks, we have been talking very regulary on a daily basis and i felt that some sort of connection was growing. I asked her for a 2nd date and we had great time. we went to a spanish restaurant and we had few drinks. i dropped her off. ( I regret not pushing myself to initiate some touches since i liked her ) it seems for me that she was enjoying the 4 hours we spent at the restaurant. i'll give more details now: 1- I dropped her off. 2- I went back home. 3- I slept 4- the next morning, i wrote her: Me: Hello hon, well arrived home ? when's your appointment ( she had some appointment with her doctor in her hometown ) She: Hello, not arrived in my hometown yet, i'm at the doctor. well arrived yesterday? Me: Yes, i thought your doctor was here and not in your hometown. She: No, in my hometown, pay attention to what i said ( laugh emoji ) Me: I forgot, i woke up tired.. She: Yes, it's clear ( laugh emoji ) later in the afternoon: Me: How was the dental scalling ? happy with the result? you already have a beautiful smile. She: Thank you. she started with a decay cleaning. dental scalling is for the end. At this point, i had the impression that the conversation was going boring and not interesting, i started to make some question in my mind and disappeared for 24hours now... Do you think that it's a good idea to freeze out contact to observe her interest? should i initiate some morning texting tmw and ask for a 3rd date ? am i too worried for nothing ? What would be the next good move to bring her back ? Thank you I didn't think she was being clear. I would freeze out contact too...but I am not any good at these things, so maybe I could be wrong.
Author N Sufjan Posted September 10, 2018 Author Posted September 10, 2018 Thank you a lot for your answers. it's much appreciated. as it's suggested by the majority of members here, i'll go for "morning" text and then ask her out. I'll keep you updated. Have a good day.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 I am curious, why have you only met twice in 9 months?
Author N Sufjan Posted September 10, 2018 Author Posted September 10, 2018 I am curious, why have you only met twice in 9 months? I didn't invit her for a date since our first date cause i have been busy at work and to be honest lazy to do so but we had several conversations lately and i started to like her: the way she thinks, talk... told her once that it's been a while since last time and said yes, i agree, we should catch up. she went on vacation after and we have been texting each other on Instagram. when she came from her holidays, i asked her for a date and she said: i dont have money, can we postpone it for the next week. i didnt want to insist. last week i met her by coincidence in a supermarket and she asked if we were still on for last week. i said yes and we met... Just sent her an hour ago a message on instagram: Morning sweetie, hows your monday going?
Author N Sufjan Posted September 10, 2018 Author Posted September 10, 2018 and she replied: Good morning, i'm demotivated, i'm trying my best to finish my tasks lol how about you ?
Author N Sufjan Posted September 10, 2018 Author Posted September 10, 2018 I replied: Same here. btw, it was nice seeing you friday and i'd like to see you again. what's a good day for you ? ( i picked @mortensorchid line lol )
mortensorchid Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 I replied: Same here. btw, it was nice seeing you friday and i'd like to see you again. what's a good day for you ? ( i picked @mortensorchid line lol ) Well thank you. Ha ha ha … But I am, however, concerned with another factor in this. True, one can be busy doing other things but it's another to be in a chat relationship with someone for weeks. But MONTHS?! I admit there were times that I got into chat relationships with others, in the days when chat rooms were kind of "the thing" I would have a chat relationship with others that I'd met on dating websites. We had chat relationships (mind you these were local people not far away) but whenever I asked to actually meet them they said no or had excuses. Are you expecting her to be that into you if you aren't making time for her? Quite honestly, once this guy has or hasn't "made it known his intentions" to ever meet me or not, I would just move on from it. Also, do you think she is holding out this whole time in between just to be with you? I am guessing not.
Author N Sufjan Posted September 10, 2018 Author Posted September 10, 2018 Well thank you. Ha ha ha … But I am, however, concerned with another factor in this. True, one can be busy doing other things but it's another to be in a chat relationship with someone for weeks. But MONTHS?! I admit there were times that I got into chat relationships with others, in the days when chat rooms were kind of "the thing" I would have a chat relationship with others that I'd met on dating websites. We had chat relationships (mind you these were local people not far away) but whenever I asked to actually meet them they said no or had excuses. Are you expecting her to be that into you if you aren't making time for her? Quite honestly, once this guy has or hasn't "made it known his intentions" to ever meet me or not, I would just move on from it. Also, do you think she is holding out this whole time in between just to be with you? I am guessing not. Actually, we have not been in chat relationship for months... but to explain this briefly, after the 1st date, she was a simple friend i find physical attractive and interesting as a person. Maybe her attitude... but that friend became weeks ago a target when we started again to chat regulary. Thats why i asked for a 2nd date and then i liked her more and i was like: man why you were too lazy to invit this girl to know her better and i actually told her, i told her that we had not to stop meeting all that time. Well she has just replied to my invitation: She: it was nice seeing you, mom is in town and since i am traveling next weekend, i dont want to go out and let her alone, next week maybe. I am about to answer: Its ok for me... i waited 9 months to see you again, i would mind waiting a week to see you again. Is it a nice answer? How do you guys find her answer btw ?
MidwestUSA Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Nothing wrong with it, assuming you meant 'wouldn't' mind waiting. As for her answer, who knows? She may be really dedicated to her mom, and that's a good thing. Let's hope it's not a polite brush off. Send your reply and see how it goes. Maybe have an actual date plan in mind. Ask her if she likes XYZ, whatever. Good luck!
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