Author ThisisIt606 Posted September 10, 2018 Author Posted September 10, 2018 He reached out last night talking about the game and I offered some comments as well Bc I watched a good portion of it and took lessons as a kid.. He said that he was impressed and didn’t know I liked tennis and would have invited me to the “ viewing party”. I agree that he should have invited me... but said “ Oo well that would have been fun, but no worries ” This morning he texted “ thanks * name* for being so understanding last night” I wrote back “ no problem:) looking forward to seeing you again” I really want to see him again... as we agreed to reschedule, is it up to him to ask me out? It seems like it should be and I left the ball in his court ( no pun intended) I don’t want to seem desperate but definitely want to see him! Do you think he will take initiative to ask me out again?
hippychick3 Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 He reached out last night talking about the game and I offered some comments as well Bc I watched a good portion of it and took lessons as a kid.. He said that he was impressed and didn’t know I liked tennis and would have invited me to the “ viewing party”. I agree that he should have invited me... but said “ Oo well that would have been fun, but no worries ” This morning he texted “ thanks * name* for being so understanding last night” I wrote back “ no problem:) looking forward to seeing you again” I really want to see him again... as we agreed to reschedule, is it up to him to ask me out? It seems like it should be and I left the ball in his court ( no pun intended) I don’t want to seem desperate but definitely want to see him! Do you think he will take initiative to ask me out again? He canceled on you last night. It’s totally up to him to initiate another date and really make it up to you. Please don’t reschedule for him or chase him. 4
Imajerk17 Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Only time will tell if he will step up and ask you out. Meanwhile, I hope I am wrong, but especially if you and he didn't see each other that night after all, his interest does seem somewhat thin. And that you seem to be an overthinker yourself...it doesn't seem to be a good match (sorry about the pun). 1
MidwestUSA Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 I don't think you need to worry. I think he'll be back. If you need a good topic of conversation, ask him how he feels about Serena's meltdown. I understand her point, but she picked a bad time to lose her cool. 2
MidwestUSA Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Only time will tell if he will step up and ask you out. Meanwhile, I hope I am wrong, but especially if you and he didn't see each other that night after all, his interest does seem somewhat thin. And that you seem to be an overthinker yourself...it doesn't seem to be a good match (sorry about the pun). I'm going to go against you for once. He did keep in contact, and kept her updated. The decision to reschedule was mutual. They've already been out and had good times. He probably appreciates that she cut him some slack. It was the US Open, not a preseason NFL game! 1
Imajerk17 Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 (edited) I did reread the thread. Maybe I spoke too soon. He couldn't meet up this one time due to plans with his friends. Stuff like this happens sometimes. I think he will be back. But I stand by my comment on you being an overthinker. You need to learn to chill! Edited September 10, 2018 by Imajerk17 1
Dis Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 I'm not sure why the general consensus is he's interested and to give him a free pass for canceling He canceled on you for a tennis game??? If the game was so important to him he should've planned a date for a different night. He seems like an avid tennis fan so he would know if there was a chance he couldn't make it Then he suggested you two reschedule but has yet to lock down a date, time or place I'm sorry but he sounds lame af and not super interested if he'd rather blow you of for a tennis game than see you and stick to his word like a decent guy And here you are, OP racking your brain about this guy who probably isn't thinking of you too much. If dating doesn't flow early on, it's a bad sign for what's to come. You're trying to force things. When to text back? Do you set up a time? A place? Is the ball in your court or his? Not good. I'm sensing stormy weather on the horizon 2
Dis Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 The right guy makes dating easy The wrong guy...makes it like this Trust me, I've done the leg work And this is the same guy in from your last thread that you were having worries about and here you are now still having issues a week later Seeing a pattern here? 3
preraph Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 If he was invited to someone's house to watch the game, it wouldn't have been up to him to invite you. Also, even if it was at his house, he and they guys might have decided to keep it to just us guys and/or ran out of good places to sit. I wouldn't angst over this too much. He's in contact. Now you know he likes tennis a lot and can't be bothered during tennis, but maybe you can be there too next time. Just be glad it's not one of the big sports (or wait, maybe it is and you just don't know yet). Let him ask next time since you bought dinner, I think.
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 I don't like this. He is not super excited about you - lukewarm at best. I'm sure in small % of cases these things can grow in time. Never happened to me though. Given your tendency to over-think this sounds like a waste of time and a lot of stress. He hasn't even rescheduled yet. What is he waiting for, to see how other options pan out? 2
Author ThisisIt606 Posted September 13, 2018 Author Posted September 13, 2018 Just to put some closure here, he did reply with a plan. He said he would pick me up and could hang out at his place. He was supposed to have a work dinner but that got canceled so he said he'd cook instead. He picks me up as promised and we drive to his place/he makes dinner. I was getting a weird vibe from him in the car. He brought his dog (I love dogs) but I feel like he brought him as a distraction almost. When we got to his place after cooking, he randomly disappeared into the basement and I asked what he was doing. He replied "throwing laundry in". He apologized for being "all over the place". I agreed that he was... constant movement all around his apartment. Seemed super nervous/ uncomfortable. Finally after all of his housework, it was a couple hours into the date and he still had not made any physical contact with me at all. He got his bong and took a few hits, I didn't want any. We started talking about some childhood stories and then making out. The dog always gets in our business so he locked him in the back room. When we were done, he gets the dog again and just starts holding, cuddling, and talking to the dog, not really paying attention to me. I thought weird... but OK, I like dogs too let's all play with the dog. He started complaining about how his whole body aches from playing his sport and that he's turning 40 next year. I told him he just turned 39 a few days ago so he has some time... (i'm about 10 years younger). It was getting late so I said I was going to go. We kissed and he told me to get home safe. I said thanks for dinner, talk to you later, bye. He didn't say anything in response... lol? At least not that I could hear. All super weird and I left feeling uneasy and annoyed. He mentioned he's had a stressful week at work and there is a new big project/deadline that has him "strapped from the moment I arrive to the moment I leave". My gut was telling me he's losing interest but my rational mind was thinking perhaps he was just tired from work, acting weird, and his true personality is a bit boring/dull. After all he was the one that picked the night, time, volunteered to cook and pick me up (which is a 1/2 hour out of his way). I sent a text the next AM just to test the waters- saying thanks again for dinner, had fun. He just replied "you're welcome" and then texted later about the weather, said his day was stressful and sent me a pic and saying "let's see if you can figure this one out" after I asked how his day was. I guessed correctly about what the picture was. He replied that I was right and he got what was in the picture for free while he was at a restaurant. Anyways... that's pretty much it. I definitely know he's not interested and after the dinner I had with him, no way in hell am I interested anymore either. He was so distracted and boring. I haven't responded to his last text as it didn't seem to require one. If he asks to hang out again (doubt it) I'll just let him know I thought he was acting a bit distracted last time we hung out and it doesn't feel like it's a great match to continue seeing each other.
Dis Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 I'm cracking up, not at you OP The dude whips out a bong on a date What a loser Ya, always trust your gut. I think while you were busy trying to force this to work you weren't paying attention to the signs he was sending you He wasn't all that interested. Interested in sex, ya but not much else Please remember OP, just because a guy likes you doesn't mean you have to like him. You're vetting them just like they're vetting you. This guy was wrong from the get go. Glad you've woken up a bit. Not judging, I've neglected my better judgement too. But for you're own good, and to stand up for what you deserve please do send him a text thanking him for a wonderful night (of laundry, dog petting and pot smoking) and send him on his merry way
ShyLove Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 (edited) This may be a stretch but ...maybe he was doing lines in the basement lol (not funny if true) but the behavior you described seems like it could be a possibility.Either way, I think you'd be better off if you just moved on. Good luck Edited September 13, 2018 by ShyLove
MidwestUSA Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 I'm so sorry, OP. I was hoping for better. You went from a couple of dates to old married couple in record time. At least he didn't ask you to help spray Shout out onto his skid stained undies, or head out to the yard with poop baggies. Complaining about turning 40? Ugh, you don't need that. It'll only get worse. The bong was a nice touch.
bene Posted September 14, 2018 Posted September 14, 2018 In my experience so much negotiating around a date is not a good sign. It looks like he’s either not very interested or just very disorganized. Neither is a good sign if you want to go on proper dates. The whole dynamic was way off - he was vague about the date and you kept wondering and accommodating him. It is one thing to cut the guy some slack during sports events when you’re in an established relationship but you are not a wife or girlfriend who should be “understanding”, you are a woman he should be trying to impress. Personally I would not schedule a date knowing that I have some other event that day and even less so when I don’t even know when it will end. He should be willing and able to schedule the date when he has time and undivided attention and make it clear without so much fuss. Otherwise you should not prioritize the date very highly and not wait around. It sounds harsh but everything is much simpler when people are actually genuinely interested in each other.
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