Why isn't he saying a place to meet tonight?

[ThisisIt606]

I will be having my 6th date with a guy I met at a dating event. We last saw each other on Thursday for a nice dinner out. He suggested to get together on Sunday and I said that worked for me. He texted me first Friday and Saturday asking how my day was.

 

I told him I had fun on our date he he said he did too. I also had quite an eventful (good things) Saturday and shared that with him and asked how his saturday was. That evening I asked what he had in mind for tomorrow. He gave me a specific time to meet but when I asked where he said he would "look something up".

 

Today/date day he just texted "hello hello" and I said "hey" and he asked "How was your night?" I told him I saw one of my friends and I just got back form a work out class. I then asked how his night was.

 

Now he's not saying anything... he usually takes forever to reply to texts even when he initiates conversation. Should I ask again if he's picked a place?

 

Idk why he initiated conversation only to not answer and not tell me a date spot?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Maybe he's hoping to be invited over to your place.

[ThisisIt606]

I doubt it, we were at my side of town last time. If he wants to be alone he can always invite me to his which I've been to already. We both don't have roommates so a certain person's place over the other shouldn't be an issue.

[d0nnivain]

Try sending him a text asking where you are going tonight or suggesting a place.

[Happy Lemming]

Maybe he got interested in a NFL game...

[ThisisIt606]

Well I already asked where we are going last night, feel kinda weird asking again....I know he doesn't watch football, likes tennis and was planning to watch later today but it's not time for the tennis game yet.

 

Is it weird to just suggest a spot without even hearing an answer about how his night was?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Is it weird to just suggest a spot without even hearing an answer about how his night was?

 

Not at all.

[d0nnivain]

It's not weird.

 

Take some initiative. It's better then fretting all afternoon. Just send a text that says something like

 

How do you feel about [place] for tonight at [time]?

[ThisisIt606]

well he finally answered saying he "stayed local" last night, and "he's about to head out to watch the match".

 

I asked, "thoughts where we should meet?" "I'm not sure where you will be, but maybe X?"

 

Then he said "yes, we are till debating over where to watch the match". "As soon as that's finalized, I will look up a spot"

 

so i just said " alright, sounds good!"

 

So I guess I wait to hear now, seems like scheduling difficulties with a group of his friends.

[d0nnivain]

Glad you're heading to a resolution

[preraph]

I'd go radio silence on him and see if he ever wakes up and realizes he has a date but no location. I mean, this is how you get to know who someone is. So now you know he is flaky or procrastinates or disorganized. So I'd see just how long it took him and sock that little piece of info into my notetaking on him for the future.

[ThisisIt606]

He responded an hour or so later asking where the place was that I picked. I sent him the address and asked if that would work.

 

He said “ yes, it should. Game just started you can follow too, is open”.” Now let’s see when I can leave”

 

Now it seems like the time is up in the air? Does this seem rude to you? I can’t be left on a string and starting to feel like I am.

 

I haven’t said anything, is there something I should?

[d0nnivain]

You keep using the word "match" so I don't know what sport he's talking about but if it's American football on any given Sunday just assume your man is busy until 8 pm & all day if his favorite team is playing in the 8 pm game. He's not going anywhere until the 4 p.m. EST game is over so don't expect him much before 8 - 8:30. If that doesn't work for you either don't make plans on Sundays, become a football fan or date one of the few men in the world who doesn't follow a team.

[losangelena]

If he already gave you a time to meet, then I wouldn't ask any questions at all. I would simply text him and say, "see you at X time, looking forward to it" and add a winky face or something. This way, you've stated your very clear expectations, and if he needs to adjust, he'll either have to speak up, or face the consequences of no showing up/flaking.

 

To your other point, I would not really feel it's rude, it simply sounds like he's with a group of people and getting back to you right this second with details is not a priority. To me, that is the communication style of someone who is comfortable/deeper in a relationship. If I were you, I would take some of the reins yourself (by texting what I suggested above), and sort of set this on the shelf, so to speak. Observe his behavior over time, and if it becomes an issue, then raise it (in person). He just sounds distracted, not like he's stringing you along.

 

Is this "tease" guy?

[alphamale]

maybe he's cleaning up his crib? as in changing the sheets and cleaning the bathroom?? gettin' ready for a sleep over???

[ThisisIt606]

You keep using the word "match" so I don't know what sport he's talking about but if it's American football on any given Sunday just assume your man is busy until 8 pm & all day if his favorite team is playing in the 8 pm game. He's not going anywhere until the 4 p.m. EST game is over so don't expect him much before 8 - 8:30. If that doesn't work for you either don't make plans on Sundays, become a football fan or date one of the few men in the world who doesn't follow a team.

 

 

it's tennis.

[guest569]

it's tennis.

 

Well that could go for weeks lol. Maybe that's what his comment meant if he is not overly keen on watching a match for hours and hours?

 

This sounds frustrating but I agree with stating "see you at x time".

[MidwestUSA]

Well that could go for weeks lol. Maybe that's what his comment meant if he is not overly keen on watching a match for hours and hours?

 

This sounds frustrating but I agree with stating "see you at x time".

 

 

The best match is over, but yea, the TV's been on for days here. H is watching on delay; I know who won, but have to keep my mouth shut.

 

Off topic, but Serena! WTH? Big win for Naomi, but I'm sure she would have preferred to win a much bigger battle! The poor kid, you're her idol!

 

 

OP, at least he's communicating with you. One thing I learned about men - whether dating or married, you have or cut them slack during prime sports times. You either join them, or get good at giving yourself manis/pedis. I opted to learn just enough that I can converse about it.

 

I have a feeling he'll be back in touch. He just has different priorities today. I just hope he's not snotty drunk when you catch up with him. Good luck!

[salparadise]

Is this the guy who cooked for you, and you're having abstinence with?

[ThisisIt606]

Before the game ended he ended up texting “ this is going on forever” I agreed and told him I was watching too. I asked if he wanted to meet up at x time or reschedule. He said he thinks it would be best to reschedule Bc it looked like the game was going to end late at that point.

 

I said reacheduling made sense and for him to let me know when he’s free and commented that Djokovic is playing a good game.

 

The game ended much earlier than we origonally thought, but we already agreed to reschedule. So now I’ll just wait to hear when he’s free I suppose?

 

Same guy who cooked me dinner. Since then we went out to a nice dinner after and he came to my place.

[d0nnivain]

It's not "rude" but it is showing that you come after the outcome of the sporting event & watching with his buddies.

 

At least tennis doesn't go on every weekend for a whole season.

 

'I wouldn't break up over it but that's me, not you.

[MidwestUSA]

 

Same guy who cooked me dinner. Since then we went out to a nice dinner after and he came to my place.

 

Hey! You didn't tell us that! How did that go? Was this his birthday weekend? Or was that last weekend?

 

I'd give him a pass on this one. I do think he'll make it up to you. I'd much rather have a guy who's into tennis vs football. They tend to be more sensitive, refined, and better in bed.

 

Sssshhh. Hubby doesn't know Djokovic won yet.

[ThisisIt606]

It went well. He was late coming over but kept me posted. It was to be expected because we had some intense weather. We stayed at my place for a bit talking and he saw something in my apt that had to do with my hobby, he picked it up and was asking really great detailed questions and seemed genuinely curious which I appreciated.

 

We walked to dinner and had a nice meal. Talked more about our families, religious backgrounds, food, his childhood/ different culture up, etc. he offered split but I insisted I would pay ( as I previously told him I would) and not to worry about it. He thanked me for dinner mult times.

 

He said he had to get back on the earlier side for his dog (let him out, bathroom etc). I invited him in and we were intimate ( my idea). I felt comfortable and felt like I got to know him better. I realize we still will need to learn more about eachother but it felt right for me that night. He enjoyed it too but said he was not expecting it.

 

He’s texted me first every day since. And yes it is technically his bday weekend but he told me previously he doesn’t go much in the way of celebrating/ never did as a kid either.

[MidwestUSA]

Ah - I asked because I was wondering if he was actually a bit worried you'd try to do something 'over the top' for his birthday, and therefore was a bit avoidant today.

 

But it sounds like all is going well. Awesome!

[shellybing]

He isn't answering because he is not interested in talking to you right now, maybe you can just tell him you are staying in for tonight and maybe can go out another time.