Unknownjp Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 So I’ve never really been able to trust my boyfriend we’ve been together 3 years and have a 2 month old baby together part of the trust issues are my own reasons but in the 3 years I’ve never heard anything about him cheating on me. his friends are constantly telling me he’s not that guy and he never blinks an eye at another girl but I don’t know if there just telling me that to help him out and be a good friend to him and sweet talk me. So yesterday I was speaking to his friend and he slipped up and told me one of his friends had been to a brothel with another friend who’s girlfriend is pregnant he said when they discuss it it goes in my boyfriends ear and out of another. The guy that told me also has a girlfriend and When I asked him has he been He said yes he got one of a website and paid £40 but said he felt disgusting after it but I never asked if it was while he was single or not. See after this now my trust issues have gone even worse I can’t even look at him in the same way now knowing his friends are doing that dirty and some behind their girlfriends back. I feel now I I’ll never be able to trust him. Do you think he’s doing the same with his friends and he was trying to warn me? What would you do in my position ? I don’t think I’ll be able to look at him the same now and I personally wouldn’t be friends with people that did that if I wasn’t a cheat myself ? Help please
d0nnivain Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 If you admit that your BF has never done anything that objectively raises your suspicions & all of your inability to trust is for your own reasons, you have to figure out what your problem is. Just because 2 of your baby daddy's buddies have gone to a brothel doesn't mean he joined them. The fact that everybody assures you he is a good guy is another important factor showing him to be of good character. You say you have been together with your guy for 3 years & never trusted him. Now you have a 2 month old with him. Where you went terribly wrong is not breaking up after 6 months. Even though he appears to be trustworthy, the fact that you didn't trust him means that you needed to get out of the relationship. Instead you had a baby with him. Why on earth would you have a baby with a man you don't trust? That is just foolish. Now you have to worry about the baby so get into therapy, do something but find a way to trust a trustworthy guy. You have to do what is in the baby's best interest.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 Why have you never trusted him, OP? Why start a family with a man you feel isn't trustworthy? I think it's a little odd his friend randomly revealed some them have visited prostitutes, but I don't see where they indicate that your boyfriend participated. It also seems strange they would point out that when they discuss it, your boyfriend pays no attention. Do they want him to give his opinion on visiting brothels, or? What was the context of that conversation? In any event, you cannot assume your boyfriend condones this behaviour. If he's not doing it himself, you need to learn to separate your disapproval of your friends' actions from his actions. At the moment, you are projecting.
smackie9 Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 Don't ask us, ask this friend why he insisted on telling you this piece of information. Then proceed to discuss it with your BF. You should be communicating to him what his friend was doing and that you found it alarming as well as odd he would tell you such a thing. Express your concerns to YOUR BF.
BaileyB Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 Agree. Nobody here can tell you if your boyfriend is cheating. If you have a question or a concern, this is something to discuss with him. I'm finding myself wondering how you have stayed for three years and had a child with a man that you feel like you can not trust? That, to me, is a more important question to ask yourself than whether he cheated or not. Why are you staying and having children with a man when you have no commitment, and who you do not trust?
kendahke Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 So I’ve never really been able to trust my boyfriend This is as far as I'm reading on this one. Why are you with someone you cannot trust? That makes absolutely no sense.
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