nospam99 Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 It seems like there are new threads here from time to time discussing the 'biological clock' associated with a woman's fertility. Women either start threads about how they are getting concerned about meeting a guy to start a family with before they get 'too old' or someone brings that factor into another thread about meeting one's SO. But there is another biological clock that I'm dealing with - age (and mortality). I don't recall any recent threads about it (I've been 'here' a little over a year). I'm a 64 y/o male, back in the dating game just for that same year that I've been on LS. I'm in good health and physically active, apparently exceptionally so for my age. I'd like to find a companion to share 'everything' with, and that includes being active. For context, my activities include hiking, biking, ballroom dancing, rock scrambling, kayaking, and downhill skiing. In spite of having a healthy lifestyle, at my age there is no guarantee how many years of either activity or, indeed, life I've got left. So it's 'important' to find that companion 'sooner rather than later' before the 'clock winds down'. Every year is precious. One problem I've been having is that a significant proportion of women 'around my age' (and that includes 10 years younger) have either never been active or are no longer active. Not that there's an 'easy' solution - no more so than 'younguns' who want to marry and have kids while the eggs are still good. I'll keep 'searching'. But I wanted to open this thread to point out the other clock.
FMW Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 I'm a 53 year old female, I definitely feel that clock. I wasn't a great athlete even when I was young, but I hike as often as I can, I box at the gym a few times a week, I play golf. So I'm sure there are women out there who would be happy to share some if not all of your activities. Pay attention when you're out there doing these activities, look for opportunities to strike up conversations and chances are some of the ladies out there are single!
LuckyM Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 What is your question? Everyone knows that mortality is the Big universal clock. I have never heard of anyone getting married or settling down at this age. In movies, yes. I am a similar age, male, gave up long ago for many reasons, glad, but the desire to find someone still haunts me. Problem is that I am rarely attracted to women within 10 years of my age and I must have that instinctual spark. You may find someone for an arrangement, not dating, not to live with. Good luck...keep expectations low. We wish we could back in time.
Chilli Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 l'm not in the states and things seem so different over there in many way anything relationship but l've heard many a time of older people remarrying here. As far as the clock goes it never seems to end right through life to me until people like LM just say to hell with it. clocks to grow up , get your license , girls , work, careers, marriage,family,careers, retirements, investments , god that all sounds so fkd doesn't it. The traps of modern life if we're dumb enough to fall for them eh.
alphamale Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 so you're saying that death is the other "clock"??
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Well, I heard and know plenty of people that met the love of their life at your age and older. Among them my grand-mother who remarried at 75 and spent 8 wonderful years traveling around with her 2nd husband before he passed. She called him the love of her life. I think you need to compromise. If finding a companion is very important then accept your lady may not share your love for hiking BUT you could still have wonderful times together doing less demanding physical activities. You could also discover together new interesting passion like camping, traveling, canoeing, Tai Chi, painting, etc. You could do your more demanding sports with your friends.
JuneL Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Would it be okay if the lady is not as active as you, but she’s interested in letting you teach her some of your hobbies? 1
Author nospam99 Posted September 12, 2018 Author Posted September 12, 2018 Would it be okay if the lady is not as active as you, but she’s interested in letting you teach her some of your hobbies? Sure it would be okay. Starting the thread, I intended to point out the issues of loss of physical ability and mortality as one's 'life clock' ticks down. My own dating/searching parameters are just an example.
Gretchen12 Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Maybe think about why the outdoor sports activities are so important to you in a mate. Are you equating physical activity with youth? There are a lot of 18 year old couch potatos. Or you want a female activity partner so you don't have to do these activities alone? When I was online dating, I saw so many older men posting all these physical activity profiles and photos. Motorcycles, and extreme sports. It's like the older guys are such wild teenage daredevils. All sports, jokes, and fun. No romance, no intimacy, no tender feelings. I feel these profiles impress other men more than they do women. I am active outdoors too but I don't mix that with dating. 1
JuneL Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Personally I think it’s really important that couples have similar core values. But I’d prefer our personalities and hobbies are somewhat complementary.
Mr. Lucky Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 When I was online dating, I saw so many older men posting all these physical activity profiles and photos. Motorcycles, and extreme sports. It's like the older guys are such wild teenage daredevils. All sports, jokes, and fun. No romance, no intimacy, no tender feelings. I feel these profiles impress other men more than they do women. I am active outdoors too but I don't mix that with dating. I think he's beyond worrying about how his profile looks and actually thinking about compatibility. He wants a romantic partner that shares the same interests. Pay attention when you're out there doing these activities, look for opportunities to strike up conversations and chances are some of the ladies out there are single! nospam99, to me this is a simple solution. Meetup is one pf many apps allowing you to find groups interested in specific pasttimes and hobbies. Most of the users are singles and I'd bet Ms. Right is one of them... Mr. Lucky 1
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Must she really like all of the same interests? and how realistic is that? Even at 63 you can discover new interests. Keep your mind open. You need more than common interests. What if after 3-4 years dating one of you hurt their back and cannot climb or hike any longer then what? You need to think beyond having common interests.
pepperbird Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 I think he's beyond worrying about how his profile looks and actually thinking about compatibility. He wants a romantic partner that shares the same interests. nospam99, to me this is a simple solution. Meetup is one pf many apps allowing you to find groups interested in specific pasttimes and hobbies. Most of the users are singles and I'd bet Ms. Right is one of them... Mr. Lucky If you aren't able to find a meetup group that suits you, you can stat your own. it's a great way to meet others who share your interests. I was in a hiking group through meetup, and one of its members was in her 70's. There was no gate she wouldn't climb over or under, and she ignored all " no trespassing signs" too
2.50 a gallon Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Prior to retirement, I was a lot like you at your age. Very active, still played some sports, basketball, volley ball, soft ball, hiking for fishing, hiking for photography. I worked with machines, only time I sat down in my shift, which could be from 8 to 12 hours, was during lunch. And lifting as much as 2 tons or more per shift. When I retire instead of just weekend hikes, out on Saturday, back on Sunday, I will be able to stay out there several days if not a week. And instead of local I can cross state lines to gold panning in California, Colorado, or fishing in the high mountain lakes of either state. I would volunteer to work weekends, OT to be banked for the day when I retire and can take off for a week or two. The last year I worked I began to notice how tired I was at the end of the shift, and had to begin backing off on overtime. A year after retirement my legs began to give out, I could barely walk two miles. They just got tired, so tired that they hurt badly. You will be surprised how quickly your body breaks down. It is like over night. Today, I can barely walk a 100 yards, and forget walking around the block Do it now!
Author nospam99 Posted September 12, 2018 Author Posted September 12, 2018 OP here. Folks, thanks so much for giving me dating/searching tips. BUT they're off the topic I intended. As I meet women I'll do my best to adapt to their interests, to find out if they can adapt to mine, and help them adapt if they want the help. My intended topic was to share thoughts about how the ticking of the 'age clock' affects the search for romance. 2.50's story about 'hitting a wall' is on target. FWIW the experience I remember of hitting a wall was in my late 20s when my 'wind' didn't magically come all the way back in the spring after a typical winter of neglecting aerobic exercise.
Happy Lemming Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 To nospam99: Can I ask why it is so important to have a companion for your travels and adventures?? If there is something you want to do... Go do it, alone!! I've been single & nomadic all of my life and thoroughly enjoyed all of my adventures, most by myself. I like me and like my company. I retired (early) in January and there are some camping and hiking adventures that my girlfriend doesn't want to do with me, so I will leave her home and go alone. She had a few minor medical issues this summer that caused me to postpone some of our joint adventures. In the end, if her health doesn't improve enough for her to join me, I'll go it alone. I worked very hard in my life so I could retire early and I'm going to enjoy myself while my body is still in good shape. Nospam99, (if I can mirror what $2.50 a gallon wrote) don't waste this time searching and searching for that woman to travel/adventure with, do it now and enjoy yourself.
Author nospam99 Posted September 13, 2018 Author Posted September 13, 2018 To nospam99: Can I ask why it is so important to have a companion for your travels and adventures?? If there is something you want to do... Go do it, alone!! I've been single & nomadic all of my life and thoroughly enjoyed all of my adventures, most by myself. I like me and like my company. I retired (early) in January and there are some camping and hiking adventures that my girlfriend doesn't want to do with me, so I will leave her home and go alone. She had a few minor medical issues this summer that caused me to postpone some of our joint adventures. In the end, if her health doesn't improve enough for her to join me, I'll go it alone. I worked very hard in my life so I could retire early and I'm going to enjoy myself while my body is still in good shape. Nospam99, (if I can mirror what $2.50 a gallon wrote) don't waste this time searching and searching for that woman to travel/adventure with, do it now and enjoy yourself. LOL - still 'coaching' me rather than discussing the 'age' clock, eh? Fair to answer your question, though ... It's not that it's so important to have a companion (FWIW my KIDS like to do stuff with me - as long as I provide transportation and cover costs - though not as my dancing partners ). What is important is that I'd like whatever woman may become my companion to be able to share my adventures. The other aspect is I am definitely bored and even a bit lonely doing stuff alone. I actively hate traveling alone, be it plane, train, bus, or car and hate spending a night alone in a hotel. If I'm going to do something alone, I'd just as soon it be some project around the house, the yard, or the garden.
Happy Lemming Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 LOL - still 'coaching' me rather than discussing the 'age' clock, eh? I think I understand... now. Basically, as we age our bodies can't do what we used to. Personally, I was a sport skydiver for 17 years, I logged almost 600 jumps (including a handful of BASE jumps). I had to end my jumping career, about 10 years ago, as the parachute opening shock was killing my back. Moreover my knees and ankles were starting to hurt more and more from ill timed landings. I really enjoyed skydiving, but I had to put my parachute system in the closet. I've kept it, as I wish and hope one day to make one last jump. Yes... age caught up with me and I had to stop that particular sport. I did go out and purchase a sportbike motorcycle to satisfy that little voice in my head, that still screams for an adrenaline rush. I guess we are a little different. I don't mind traveling alone, but I understand your position.
Springsummer Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 Well, I heard and know plenty of people that met the love of their life at your age and older. Among them my grand-mother who remarried at 75 and spent 8 wonderful years traveling around with her 2nd husband before he passed. She called him the love of her life. . Seriously? oh, wow, wow...
Springsummer Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 holy smoke...people still looking for love at that age? um...interesting. never thought of that. in my culture, back in the old day, people are married for life.
Gaeta Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 holy smoke...people still looking for love at that age? um...interesting. never thought of that. in my culture, back in the old day, people are married for life. In my culture too in the old days people married for life, and they remained married till one died then widows would often remarry. My grand-mother had 12 children with her first husband. He died at 72 (she was same age) she was still very active living by herself and met a gentleman her age that was also a widow and they married. People can fall in love at any age. 1
Gaeta Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 The other aspect is I am definitely bored and even a bit lonely doing stuff alone. I actively hate traveling alone, be it plane, train, bus, or car and hate spending a night alone in a hotel. If I'm going to do something alone, I'd just as soon it be some project around the house, the yard, or the garden. I get you 100% here! I was single for a good 8 years before I met my BF at 50. My family and friends kept telling me to use that time alone to travel and see the world. To me it was a no-sense to be standing at the foot of the Eiffel tower by myself and share that moment with no-one. Some like it that way, not me. Now that I have a BF we travel as often as we can and it has so much more meaning to discover places together and bring back souvenirs and pictures.
Author nospam99 Posted September 13, 2018 Author Posted September 13, 2018 In my culture too in the old days people married for life, On the other hand, my father (can't call him 'dad' since he was such an obnoxious ******* and treated me like ****) was divorced twice, including after 49 years with my mom. She said he was most pissed off that they didn't reach their 50th anniversary. She just turned 90. The whole family had been telling her to dump him for years and we're all pretty sure the stress of continuing to live with him would have killed her first.
JuneL Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 I notice that some people who used to be very active got injuries when younger, and they ended up in a much worse physical shape than those who didn’t play nearly as many sports.
Chilli Posted September 15, 2018 Posted September 15, 2018 Get it 200% nothing wrong with preferring doing things with your partner , pretty cool actually. When l was younger l didn't mind one bit doing things alone l did all the time but now l much rather share times doesn't have to be everything but some, with someone.
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